“What if I told you insane was working a 50-hour week for 50 years, at the end of which they tell you to piss off. Ending up in some retirement village, hoping to die rather than suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time. Wouldn't you consider that to be insane?”
This is a line from the great Steve Buscemi in what is inarguably the greatest movie in American cinematic history, Con Air.
Buscemi’s character is considered to be the most insane person on a plane full of insane criminals but, as you can see, he has a different take of what insane truly is.
Last week, I discussed transformations and the traits that it takes to pull off a radical body composition change. It was a well received piece and if you haven’t read it yet I recommend you go up to your email search bar, type in my name and give it a read.
Go ahead, the rest of us will wait.
OK, now that we are all on the same page, one of the things that I mention that is truly important is patience and the willingness to execute your plan over a long time horizon. And I stick by this. Most worthwhile outcomes take longer than most people would like.
Plus, getting out of shape, particularly if you are wildly out of shape, is something that happens over the course of years. Why would you think the fix should happen in a matter of weeks?
But with that being said, there is a fast lane when compared to the way most people approach training which we will lovingly and creatively call the slow lane.
Let me give you two analogies for the slow lane which will hopefully deliver an understanding of the concept faster than our impending social collapse.
Let’s assume that you were starting to learn how to play piano from scratch and you could take one of two approaches.
Your first approach is to practice every other day and every time you sit at the piano you try something new. Monday you take on Motzart. Wednesday you work on the intro to your favorite Billy Joel song. Friday you work on some music theory. Saturday you get some extra work in building up finger strength. Next Monday it’s Elton John. And so the pattern continues.
The second approach is to work on one song. Let’s say it’s the Billy Joel song and let’s say it’s “New York State Of Mind”. You work on it every time you practice and after 4 months you can play it all the way through. In six months you are gaining confidence and it’s really starting to sound smooth. In a year, you are a pro. You can play it with your eyes closed. Eighteen months in, you are a passionless robot playing it without even thinking.
Now, which one of these approaches do you think will make you a better piano player?
If you picked the obvious choice, number two, you are wrong. Sure, you will get great at that one song and maybe even learn other things from it. But if you are taking requests at a piano bar for 3 hours on a busy Saturday night then you sure as shit better hope those people are either really drunk or really like “New York State of Mind”.
So the first approach must be it! Lots of variety. Plenty of exposure to different techniques. Something for everyone!
Once again, wrong. Because everything you play is going to sound like a disjointed mess. Sure, you might know the intro to this song or that particular scale but none of it is connected or musical and you are going to give everyone a headache.
Both of these approaches put you in the slow lane. You will never be a well-rounded, confident and competent player with a large repertoire if you follow either approach.
The same goes for training.
If you do the same things - same exercises in the same order with the same weight with the same limited range of motion you are basically playing “New York State of Mind” over and over and over again.
“But Dan,” you exclaim, “what if all I care about is running faster? Shouldn’t I just stick to running?”
The answer is no for two reasons. The first is that, even if all you did is run you wouldn’t want to run the same five miles at the same speeds over and over again. You would quickly hit your ceiling and never improve.
And, secondly, you are missing the main purpose of supplemental training - or going to the gym, as an oversimplification - which states that general fitness qualities will serve specific training outcomes. In other words, the gym is best served in developing capabilities that serve your primary purpose.
To make it even simpler, if you are slow like me, a little bit of squatting along with your running program will make you better at running than if you exclusively ran.
“Fair enough. But what about the first analogy? The one where I play all different pieces of music? Won’t the variety help improve my fitness level? Won’t ‘muscle confusion’ keep me adapting?”
Great questions!
No.
Doing things randomly or even planning out a wide variety of different things will not get you to your goals in the most efficient way possible because it’s not how your body works. Your muscles don’t need to be confused with constant variety. They need systematic exposure to a progressing stimulus so they can adapt.
This is one of the big problems with CrossFit. Their philosophy of programming revolves around constant variation. And while this may be fun, it’s also probably why 60% of people you know who’ve been doing CrossFit for over a year have a shoulder injury.
Constantly changing things will not get you the fitness you seek.
So what is the answer then?
Just like anything else that ultimately works in the world, you need a system. Something that progresses in an organized fashion in a way that jives with the established principles of exercise science.
And while that sounds fancy and complex (perhaps the word “science” is scary) it doesn’t really have to be. But it does require thought. And most people and places just aren’t willing to put in that amount of work.
Take a random and completely fictional group fitness class. Let’s call it, oh, I don’t know, Larry’s Footcamp. Just off the top of my head.
If you go to Larry’s and every time you go their is a different workout that is simply programmed that day by the instructor that has absolutely nothing to do with what you’ve done in the past - no easy-to-see progression, no reference to weights or paces you’ve used in the past - you are, unfortunately stuck in the slow lane.
And I get it. It’s fun. And “something is better than nothing” as they say.
But you can do effective training that is also fun. And are you really satisfied with the bare minimum standard that is literally one step above nothing?
You’ve put in the time and effort. You’ve paid the money. You’ve put on the overpriced Lululemon socks (which are fantastic, by the way). You’ve gotten the preworkout just right. You’ve worked and sweated your ass off in the class or under the barbell by yourself.
You owe it to yourself to get in the fast lane and follow a well-organized, effective training program that tracks the variables and progresses them appropriately over time.
It’s not the “one cool trick” that will get your ripped in eight weeks. It’s still going to take lots of time and dedication and discomfort and hard work.
But at least it will work.
To do it any other way would be insane.