I recently did a deep dive into the origins of the phrase “it’s not personal, it’s just business”.
Of course, my first thought was it has something to do with the mob. My second, related thought was that it started with the movie “The Godfather”.
And, in both cases, I was sort of right.
Michael Corleone does famously use the phrase when he’s called out for wanting to off two guys who attempted to assassinate his family.
But the inspiration for the Corleone line originally came from a mob accountant named Otto Berman, who in the 1930s, often used the phrase “nothing personal, it’s just business” when he went out to collect money.
You may be asking yourself why you should care about any of this or, perhaps less importantly, why I decided to look into it in the first place.
These are reasonable questions.
Frankly, unless you are a student of entomology, semantics or phraseology, I have no idea why you would care. But, Thanksgiving is coming up and maybe you can delight your Aunt Miriam with your newly found gangster knowledge in the typical conversational lull between the main course and dessert.
I decided to check it out because I believe it is one of the most ridiculous cliches that exists.
Surely, in some ways, business is business. You charge “x”, you pay “y” in expenses and you hope there is enough “z” left over that you get to do it again next month.
It’s basic math, really.
But, outside of that, I have no idea how to not take business personally.
The training program isn’t translating exactly how I want it. It’s personal.
Clients aren’t getting the results they are after. That’s personal to me as well.
Shower isn’t working. Staff member is unhappy. Client leaves for a competitor.
It’s all personal.
I’m talking “up in the middle of the night worry” kind of personal.
And while I am certain this is probably not great for my mental health (at least it keeps my therapist in business!) I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Honestly, I’m not sure how anyone could not take it personally. Part of me envies small business owners who stop concerning themselves when they click off the shop lights each night. It's likely a very balanced and idealized way to live. I just can't get my head around how I could ever be that blasé.
Ideally you start a business because you are passionate about your product, you believe you can add a lot of value and you care about the people you can help.
If those are the prerequisites, how you can not take those things personally.
Training is somewhat similar.
On the surface, training is also basic math.
You perform “X’ sets of “Y” reps at “Z” weights. Do this for as many years as possible and ideally you get somewhere.
But training also has to be personal. When you are getting the most out of it, it has meaning to you. The goals and outcomes are providing value to your life. Perhaps you are even passionate about it. And, when it’s at its highest and best, training can help you care about yourself.
For certain, getting stronger and improving your cardiovascular health and fitness and optimizing your body composition are wonderful outcomes and great reasons to train.
But it’s the personal things - the confidence you build, the belief that you can accomplish challenging things, the proof that you can steadfastly do something with consistency - that end up meaning the most.
I’d love nothing more than to act like the tough guy here.
To tell you that when things go wrong I allow it all to roll off my back.
That I can accept the imperfections as part of the process as a whole.
That I’m not tossing and turning with the thought that I care about your success more than any other business owner can.
That you leaving to go to another gym doesn’t bother me.
But it does.
It’s probably the reason you should stay.