If I were truly trying to serve humanity, this post would be about the proper way to ride the subway (yes, there is a proper way!).
But rather I’m going to discuss a wacky fitness experiment and its outcomes.
If I am known for any one thing it’s probably for having big arms.
But, if I were known for two things, it would be big arms and relying on tried-and-true training concepts in order to get people like you (yes, YOU!) in the best shape possible.
So it may come as a bit of a surprise (it sure does to me!) that I would dabble outside the norm.
Such was the case a few months back when I proposed - seemingly out of the blue and with no proof at all - that wearing a 40lb weight vest for 30 days straight would have positive fitness outcomes.
What was even crazier is that two members of my training staff were willing to give it a go. More on them in a second.
My thought process was this: having an extra 40lbs on your body throughout the day would drive up metabolic demand, stress the axial skeleton and make one’s mind and body harder than junior year calculus.
The rules were simple: they had to wear the weight vest all day. The only exceptions were when they were sleeping, when they were showering and when they were working out.
On the training floor coaching: they wear the vest.
First time meeting that guy from Hinge: they wear the vest.
Making a Cesar salad: vest.
Binge watching Bachelor in Paradise: vest.
Family day at the beach: you get the idea.
The first volunteer was Jules Bolte (side note: Jules last name is pronounced “bolt” which would make me drop the “e” immediately or, even better, just change it to ⚡️like she’s a modern day version of Prince).
Jules played division one lacrosse at Virginia Tech, was in the Marines officer training program and was born and raised in suburban south New Jersey. She’s made of the type of stuff that is perfect for a challenge like this.
Participant number two was Fort favorite, Cody Rivera aka Cody B (yes, that is a Cardi B reference) aka 3LC (which stands for “Three Lung Cody” for his ability to withstand brutal conditioning workouts).
Cody is game for just about anything and when I mentioned that I believed that wearing the vest would lead to an improvement in lower ab engagement and make him more ripped, he jumped on the internet to buy the vest faster than a Taylor Swift fan emptying their bank account when new dates for the Eras Tour are announced.
OK, now that I’ve announced the players, let’s dive a bit deeper into expectations.
My prevailing thought was that the vest would accelerate fat loss. I mean, if you instantly increase body weight by 40lbs it’s safe to assume that daily caloric expenditure would have to go up dramatically leading to a reduction in body fat.
Sticking with body composition, while I didn’t expect a meaningful increase in muscle mass (as a simplistic explanation, muscle responds better to reps than it does to just carrying weight around) I did think that more endurance-centric muscles such as the calves may benefit from carrying the extra load.
I hadn’t thought about the implications to specific performance outcomes (does carrying around a 40lb vest all day make you a stronger bench presser?) but logically I would think it would hurt performance. General, systemic fatigue isn’t exactly known to benefit expressions of strength and schlepping the extra weight around is definitely going to make you tired.
Additionally, I imagined joints would ache, muscle soreness would increase, sleep quality would be through the roof and general complaining would be at an all time high.
And, seemingly, my observations were correct, except when it came to the most critical and motivating one. In both Jules and Cody, body composition didn’t budge much at all.
Which sucks because if I included before-and-after pictures here of these two getting completely ripped after a month I definitely could have sold you my “Get Shredded In 30 Days With This One Trick” protocol and I’d be retired and shirtless sitting on the beach in Tahiti cackling to my self in delight.
In retrospect, I have two theories as to why the body comp didn’t pan out the way I expected. The first is that both parties saw a significant increase in appetite and indulged that feeling. So while I didn’t have them track calories (this was not a scientific experiment, to say the least), they both admittedly ate an Atlantic Oceans worth of Trader Joe’s Scandinavian Swimmers.
The second was that the extra weight was demotivating when it came to general activities. Why go for a walk or a bike ride with an extra 40lbs strapped to you when you could just watch Office Space for the nine thousandth time while eating pints of Cherry Garcia?
So the overall lack of body comp improvements was definitely a bummer.
But there were also some unexpected positives. Cody experienced a real increase in power during his lifts. Squats that were tough before just flew up (so much for fatigue affecting the lifts).
Mental toughness was also through the roof. When you quite literally spend a month carrying around an extra load for a month, other challenges will start to pale in comparison. Plus if you can survive the chaffing that comes along with wearing a weighted, nylon vest in the middle of a sweaty Summer you can survive just about anything.
Am I disappointed with the outcomes? Maybe a little. Both these trainers were troopers for taking on an uncomfortable task for a prolonged period of time and I really was hoping all their fitness hopes and dreams would come true.
But this is why we try these non-scientific science experiments. To learn and bring our best practices to you, our beloved loyal reader.
And, while I’m here:
Take your backpack off when you are riding the subway. Your backpack has no thoughts and feelings and is likely crushing your neighbors. Also, putting your bag on the floor will increase space in the car by 30%.
Do not stand directly in front of the doors if there is room to step in. You are making it slower, more awkward and less convenient for everyone. And don’t you dare stare at me when I crash into you when I’m getting on the train. I’m big and you brought that shit upon yourself by standing in the door for no reason.
Lastly, do not walk towards the doors while the train is still moving. Wait for the doors to open then exit. I know that you are concerned that you are going to miss your stop but really you’re just making things worse as there’s no way for us to get out of your way.
If you have a fitness experiment you think we should try or, more importantly, some tips on how to best ride the subway, please hit "reply" and let me know. I read and respond to every message.