There’s a real pressure in being named Dan.
Because if you are “Dan” you are also, ultimately and unquestionably, going to be referred to as “Dan The Man”.
And if you aren’t a “Dan” who lives up to being “The Man” you end up being a disappointment.
So I try to do a lot of things that make me worthy of being called “The Man” but one thing I struggle with is being slow.
This is not limited to one area of my life.
I walk slowly.
I talk slowly.
I take a long time to consider things and make decisions.
I’m slow to take action.
And, I fully realize, this can be frustrating for the people in my life.
Kyle is a very action oriented person and I’m certain waiting for me to come around on things is less than ideal.
My wife thinks quickly and has a direct line from her brain to her mouth that completely eludes a slow speaker like myself. I’m sure that waiting for my not-entirely-stimulating words to form in response to our conversation tries her patience.
Coach Jess and I can barely walk the 150 yards to the coffee shop without her turning over her right shoulder and telling me to hurry up.
And yet, while I am fully aware of this trait and would love for it to be different, I haven’t figured out how to make that the case.
In fact, the faster I intentionally try to go, the slower I get. I’m trapped in some sort of speed paradox.
But the frustration of my colleagues and loved ones is not completely in vain. Because while dealing with my pace isn’t great for them, it has served me very well.
Because mistakes love a quick decision.
So my stammering, my pondering, my ruminating prior to speaking or making a decision has certainly saved me from some disastrous situations.
And, I believe, it has also led me down the path of what I consider one of my best attributes and the main point I am trying to make with this post despite the slow start (see what I did there!).
I always try to do what I say I am going to do.
Which sounds obvious and trite and barely worth mentioning in a blog post. But I’m going to be honest, here. I speak with a lot of people. And I bet most of those people think they are “I’ll do what I said I was going to do” people.
But I’m here to tell you that they are not.
And, I should know. Cause I wasn’t one of them for a long time myself.
Instead I would try to be polite.
Rather than saying “no” I’d tell someone that "I’ll get back to you”. But in reality I had no intention of doing so. I was just trying to avoid confrontation.
There are no shortage of examples of not doing what you said you were going to do.
Signing up for the gym and not actually showing up - not doing what you said you were going to do.
Excitedly telling everyone you are doing a marathon but not actually training for it so you defer - not doing what you said you were going to do.
Telling someone you would text them later and then ghosting - not doing what you said you were going to do.
And, listen, I get it. Sometimes these things aren’t intentional. Life gets in the way. And no one is perfect.
We are all human after all.
But what I’m talking about is people who use this type of avoidance as a default. They don’t really plan on doing these things. This is just their standard defense mechanism.
And this leads you down the path of a giant problem. Because when you don’t do what you say you are going to do, you become unreliable. And when you become reliably unreliable, you lose integrity.
And integrity and reputation are two of the most valuable things you will ever have. Money comes and goes. There is always more of it available. But once you lose your integrity and your reputation they are very hard to get back.
You may justify this with “well, I only do this to the people who aren’t really important in my life. I’ll probably never speak to that car salesman or barista or whomever ever again. How can this possibly have any real repercussions?”
Well, it may seem like that. But let me deliver another piece of wisdom here: The way you do anything is the way you do everything.
The way you treat the waiter is the way you treat your boss. The way you treat the guy at the dry cleaners is the way you treat your partner.
It may not be as overt. You may try to mask it. But it’s in there.
So if you want to live a better life. If you want karma on your side. If you want people saying things like “that guy might be an asshole, but at least he’s good to his word” think slowly and then do what it is you say you are going to do.
Then, even if your name isn’t Dan, you will still be the man.