Have you ever seen the movie “Twins”?
It’s the one starring Arnold Schwarznegger and Danny Devito (who turned 80 last week) and marked Arnold’s first foray into doing comedies.
(FUN FACT: As a fitness writer I am obligated to name drop Arnold at least once per year in any writing that I do. It’s part of the contract.)
For the uninitiated, the basic premise of Twins is that Jules and Vincent (played by Arnold and Danny) were lab created twins with Arnold getting all the better genetic material and beneficial upbringing and Danny getting all the leftovers, left to fend for himself and, ultimately, become a petty criminal.
It’s both an oddball buddy comedy and a fish-out-of-water story and it really works. The physical, mental and experiential contrast between these two characters is quite perfect.
Occasionally, I’ll have an idea for a blog post that’s really two ideas and I struggle to marry them into one seamless, cohesive masterpiece that you are used to getting in your inbox every Monday morning. Kind of like the twins in Twins, the ideas sort of go together but sort of don’t.
Do I go with “this” idea? Do I try to flesh out “that” idea? It’s a Sophie’s Choice, really…minus the death and suffering.
This week I’m going to do something I never recommend you do when it comes to financial negotiations which is split the difference.
(Why don’t I recommend this? Because, regardless of what the Israeli sales guy at the electronic store tells you, no one actually walks away happy when they aren’t actually getting what they want.)
The first is a concept I call “being a five star customer” which is something I’ve always worked towards and, now that I’ve given it a catchy name, is something that is more on the forefront of my mind.
When you run a small, service-based business (as I do) reviews are rather important. You want to deliver exceptional customer service and results so people are compelled to share that experience with others publicly which, in turn, helps you get more customers.
Which is great, but I also want to hold the mirror up to myself to see if I’m a customer worthy of five stars.
And the first question you may ask yourself is “Dan, why the eff does this matter? I pay for the coffee and the three almond croissants they jam in a bag and I’m on my way.”
That’s a reasonable question and will, the vast majority of the time, get you exactly what you asked for.
But what it isn’t going to give you is joy. Because when you have a positive interaction with people rather than just grumbling as you hurry out the door so you can stuff 1800 calories of French deliciousness down your pie hole, you will actually see your life improve.
And, secondly, it can get you more of what you want down the line. Because when they run out of that particular type of single-origin Ethiopian fair-trade such-and-such that your fancy-ass enjoys every morning, they are more likely to check in the stockroom to see if they can hunt down a bag if they’ve had a positive experience with you. Mr. Grumplepuss, on the other hand, will be told “sorry, we’re out today” and only get offered some blended bullshit grown in Columbus, Ohio.
Personally, I will bend over backwards to give a client what they want and need. It’s part of my personal mantra to meet people more than half way. But I’m not gonna lie, it’s much easier when that person is lovely and friendly. It makes me want to deliver for them that much more.
So, how do you become a five star client? It’s pretty straightforward.
Be present and attentive when you talk to people. Don’t be looking at your phone while you mutter your order and then get pissed when they ask you to repeat it.
Call the person by name if you can and if there is something you can observe about them (that isn’t inappropriate) tell them that thing. People love to be seen.
“Looks like you’re having a tough day.”
“Did you get some more work done on that tattoo, looks awesome.”
“ Did you guys repaint the walls cause the place looks fresh.”
Now, there is a limit to this. You don’t want to overdo the Dad jokes or make creepy comments or do anything that makes you cringe or steals too much energy. You want to be a five star customer, not the guy who draws eye rolls once you walk out the door.
This leads me very tenuously to my next concept which I call “I don’t shine if you don’t shine” which is actually a lyric from a Killers song of all things.
And this idea is very simple: you want to set up scenarios where everyone wins.
Call me a libertarian or a pinko commie or whatever you want, but just as I wouldn’t feel great being involved in a situation where I lose, I don’t feel great when I’m the only one who wins.
This goes for business or workouts or relationships or whatever. If you negotiate so hard that you are the only one who walks out feeling like they are successful, other people are not going to want to play in your sandbox moving forward.
You’ll just be in there by yourself with your giant bucket and little plastic rake and no one will appreciate the sweet castle you just built because you’ll be all alone.
I’ll do you even one better, try to set up scenarios where the other person feels like they won (but not where you come across as a sucker) and you will be the most popular person in the entire playground.
You want to play the long game and be the person that others want to interact with for years to come.
At the end of Twins, Jules gets Vincent to see the error of his ways and he becomes a better person. They both get married (to sisters no less) and get to meet their biological mother who they were told died during childbirth.
It’s actually quite a sweet and intense ending for a light hearted movie and, to be honest, I have no idea how to neatly make a connection between that and the ideas that I expressed above.
Is it that being a good person pays off in bigger ways than you could even expect?
Is it that bringing positivity in the world can yield unexpected gifts?
Perhaps.
But if I think about it, it’s really the connection that Jules and Vincent establish with each other that gets me.
The fact that they realize that no one wins unless everyone wins.