One could argue that the greatest Rocky movie is Rocky III.
You have a world-class villain in Clubber Lang played beautifully by Mr. T.
(Prediction: pain!)
You have an incredible 10 minutes of Hulk Hogan as Thunderlips.
You have the greatest use of the greatest character in the entire Rocky franchise in Apollo Creed.
Add in a low-key homoerotic race on the beach, Adrian in her least wet-noodle role of the entire series and Rocky’s unbelievably floofy 80’s hair and this thing is a winner from top to bottom.
But the thing that puts it over-the-top for me is Stallone’s physical transformation in the movie. In the first two Rockys, Sly is well-built and muscled but also slightly unconditioned and more than a little pale. And this was perfect for a ham and egg underdog journeyman fighter from Philly.
However, in the second fight against Clubber in this third movie, Rocky takes off his robe for the pre-fight staredown to reveal that he has become a tanned, shredded specimen.
When I first saw the movie in theaters, I couldn’t believe it. My 13 year old self didn’t even know that abs like that existed.
But it all made sense. Rocky was going to beat Clubber with speed. And, apparently, this is what speed looked like.
Our third annual Fort 5k is on deck for this Saturday. I’ve run it the past two years and considering it is the only running I do all year I was fairly impressed with my just over 32 minute finish both times. Quite honestly, I was just impressed that I finished.
But this year I wanted it to be different. I didn’t just want to survive the race, I wanted to avoid finishing at the back of the pack. So I enlisted the help of the best running coach in the world, our very own Coach Jess, to help devise a plan that could help.
When you’ve spent a good part of your adult life trying to squat, deadlift, clean and snatch as much weight as you possibly can you haven’t particularly set yourself up for success in middle-distance running. Add on top of that that this meant I was tackling my first organized running program just north of 50 years old and just north of 230 pounds and success seems like a long shot.
But I am also a big fan of seeing what is possible.
So, as instructed, I started running. And, as predicted, it really sucked at first. But as I got out there for literally just a couple of hours per week, my tolerance and approach to running improved, I got some vitamin D and a bit of a tan from being outside and I dropped about 10 pounds.
Apparently, this is what speed looks like.
Now, I’d love to report that I am fully confident that I will reach my goal this year of running a sub-30 minute 5k but, honestly, it’s in a bit of doubt.
That’s about my pace on flat courses and, thanks to the Department of City Planning, the course that we run in Central Park is essentially the equivalent of running up Kilimanjaro.
But, nonetheless, I am putting it out there. Sub-30 or bust. You can all hold my feet to the fire. And, believe me, I really thought about waiting another week to write this blog where I could alter the narrative based on the actual outcome but, as the musical genius of our time Drake best put it, YOLO.
And this leads me into my take home lesson for this week. Don’t tell people what you are going to do before you do it.
I know, I know. It sounds like I’m telling you not to do what I just did.
But this is different. I already put in the work. I’m just holding myself to an accountable result. Which is way different than telling everyone that you signed up for a marathon and you're gonna crush it and here’s everything you have planned before you even first lace up your shoes.
When you do that you are actually denying yourself the reward of the finish line. Because, in our brains, telling people what you are going to do and actually doing it feel about the same.
But actually doing it is much, much cooler. And, admittedly, much harder which is probably why we prefer to just blab about it in the beginning
In the words of an actual musical hero, Tom Petty (the Drake thing was sarcastic if you didn’t catch that), the waiting is the hardest part.
Not to let myself off the hook here but whether I get sub-30 or not doesn’t really matter that much to me. I put in the work and I get to be in the middle of Central Park with an incredible community of people that I had a hand in putting together. It’s never not special and emotional for me.
And if that’s not worth showing up for I don’t know what is.