Growing up as one of the only Jewish families in a very non-Jewish neighborhood can lead one to be very protective of their culture.
Particularly if said family are immigrants.
Such was the case in my home.
The thought of attending an Easter egg hunt was forbidden. Stepping into a church felt creepy and weird. Yelling “Jesus Christ” when stubbing your toe on the coffee table was met with scorn.
Besides being allowed to watch “Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer” on TV - a concession that had to be negotiated with good grades and a completion of that day’s homework - my only other avenue to the mysteries of Christianity was at my neighbor Joey’s house.
Joey's mom and my mom were friends which meant I was allowed to actually go inside his house rather than just ring the doorbell and ask if he could come out to play which was my limit with every other kid on the block.
Joey and his family were blue-collar Italian Catholics - his Dad was an elevator repairman, his mom stayed home to raise the three kids - which meant they started preparing for Christmas about the third week in July.
The most fascinating holiday item, to me, in Joey’s home, was his advent calendar.
For those of you who don’t know, an advent calendar generally looks like a 3D cardboard house decorated with 24 numbered paper doors that are meant to be opened - one per day - from December 1st until Christmas Eve.
Inside each door is a small item - a plastic toy or devotional prayer are common - and its purpose, I assume, is to simply keep you excited and engaged in the upcoming holiday.
Now, I don’t know if this is typical, but on Joey’s advent the 24th door always held a bigger, more special treat - a piece of wrapped chocolate.
(For all you kids out there, when you grow up without much money and before phones and internet, shit like this was a big deal. I realize that is hard to get your head around now.)
Reflecting on it, as a nine year-old kid, Joey had amazing self control. He was meticulous about only opening one door per day as required to get that chocolate at the end of the rainbow.
And I think there is an amazing lesson for all of us to learn here. When we delay gratification, the rewards are typically much larger and more satisfying than if we simply cash in our chips daily looking for that quick hit of dopamine that comes with a fleeting feeling of accomplishment.
While this is clearly true in business and finance - the entire principle of compounding interest is based on delayed gratification - it is just as true in training.
There is nothing wrong with targeting short term goals and engaging in 12-week challenges. In fact, placing a high level of focus on your health and fitness for a defined period of time can lead to big results and put you on the right track.
However it is the person who looks at things in the long term - who considers where there health and fitness will be if they simply lose a pound or two a week and maintain that loss for years or add 1-2 kilos per training cycle to their back squat - those are the people to really look out for.
Because those are not the people who touch the goal for a brief moment and look great for their wedding photos or at their 25 year reunion. Those are the people who shock their doctors by how healthy they are when they are 60 or can still beat their teenage kids in a race.
Persistence and grit are two qualities that will serve you incredibly in your fitness journey. But they do not exist without time.
There is a Tony Robbins quote I bring up often which states that people overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in ten.
Think about your fitness journey in terms of decades rather than weeks or months and what you can achieve will be staggering.
One day in mid-December I found myself in Joey’s house. The advent calendar sat on the small kitchen table and the 24th door had been torn off. The chocolate was gone.
When I asked Joey about it, he was disheartened. His younger brother, Christopher, couldn’t control the impulse to get at the chocolate.
I’ve lost touch with Joey but last I saw he was an attorney living in Westchester with a family of his own. I was happy to see that he got out of the neighborhood. A white collar guy from a blue collar town. I want to believe that his ability to play the long game had a lot to do with his success.
I want to report that Christopher is now serving 10-15 years for armed robbery as it would really drive home my point about delaying gratification nicely - but I doubt that’s true.
Actually, I don’t want to report that. Christopher was a sweet - if pretty wild - little kid.
But nothing makes me happier than the imagination of Joey and Christopher spending Christmas together. And Chris bringing his big brother a box of chocolates as a yearly peace offering while their kids open up the doors of an advent calendar.
As the only Jewish kid from Valley Stream, that’s my Christmas wish.