Mrs. Living Dead
That was what we called our frequent 8th grade substitute Spanish teacher.
Real name: Mrs. Livingston.
It was that combination of silly, stupid and mean that makes it the perfect joke when you are a 14 year old boy. We thought we were as clever as shit when we came up with it.
I realize that when you are early in your teen years that any adult over the age of 30 seems ancient. But in this case, I promise you that Mrs. Livingston lived up to her nickname.
She may have been alive to witness the birth of Methusala. Eve was her younger sister.
Mrs. Livingston didn’t stand a chance. I’m not even sure if she spoke Spanish as we never gave her the opportunity to get that far into the lesson. Middle schoolers are experts at detecting any weakness. So the hunched, wrinkled Livingston was in crisis-management mode from bell to bell.
What is amazing, however, is that I remember her. It’s been 35 years. How many of you remember the name or anything else about any sub you’ve had?
I believe her enduring legacy doesn’t revolve around the clever moniker we gave her nor my current and terrifying realization that some people just don’t get to retire.
For me, it was her catchphrase.
As part of the general antics and disarray that accompanied any sub-led class period was the inevitability that one student would complain about something another student was doing.
A pencil was stolen. A paper was glanced at. A desk was nudged as a student passed by.
And when these complaints were lobbied to Mrs. Livingston, she always had the same response.
“You take care of you.”
I didn’t realize it at the time - and to my defense I was distracted by such hijinks as class clown Emilio jumping out the first floor window in order to avoid a scheduled quiz - but with those five simple words Mrs. Livingston doled out some great advice.
No one is advocating for not helping out others here. I think everyone can admit that there is remarkable value in being there for your fellow humans.
What I’m getting at is avoiding the trap of allowing the negativity, gossip and insecurities of others to become a distraction that gets you off your path of focus, peace and greatness.
You must get the energy drainers out of your life.
Personally I cannot even recount the number of times that I’ve allowed some energy vampire to knock me out of a great rhythm I was having with training or business or learning or relationships only to find myself reeling from the distraction and still feeling the effects weeks or months later.
In the gym, these people are really easy to detect. They start talking about how tired they are or how they don’t like their program or that they’ve never been good at push press before they’ve even put their sneakers on. And being around that attitude has a massive impact.
If you’ve trained with or around others you know the value of a good training partner. But this can extend directly to every other part of your life.
Are you around people who are always lamenting the problems or around ones who are actively pursuing the solutions. Ones that find the good in every situation or ones that would find a reason to complain even if they were eating the greatest meal ever created while getting a back rub from Henry Cavill and being serenaded by Dolly Parton.
And, perhaps more importantly, are you allowing those people to creep into your thoughts and distract you from your goals, desires and being the person you want to be? Are you spending your precious energy finding ways to win arguments or prove someone wrong rather than following your bliss and pushing yourself forward?
It’s an easy trap to fall into. And as someone who is overly concerned with his own interpretation of “justice” I find myself spending too much mental energy in developing arguments in my own head that would certainly put this person in their place. But, ultimately, it does me no good. It’s wasting resources that could be spent doing something positive.
You know who doesn’t fall into that trap? The people that are winning, Those who have a commitment to what they want get out of each day and each interaction They have achieved so much more than their detractors that they don’t even consider acknowledging or being distracted by them.
Feel how you want to feel about Jeff Bezos but what he does not do is go on Reddit and dispute the role of e-commerce with someone who runs a $300 per month Shopify store. Tom Brady isn’t debating pass protection strategies with your Uncle Steve who hasn’t missed a game in 30 years so he clearly understands football better than someone who is actually out on the field and has won 90 Super Bowls.
To do so would be seen as silly. Or as bullying.
And while you may not have achieved as much as Warren Buffet or Ronaldo (this is the one soccer reference I will ever make in the history of this blog so soak it up now, you footies) I encourage you to act as if you have. When the vampires show their fangs rather than biting back, consider yourself on a higher plain and act accordingly.
It’s one of the most empowering things you can do.
For Mrs. Livingston to still be with us would truly mean that she figured out a way to trump everything we know about longevity and human biology.
But, if by some miracle or a true misjudgement of her age by my 14 year old brain, she still is around I would love to thank her for the great advice.
Admittedly I haven’t always done a great job following it. But that doesn’t make it any less valuable.