I recently celebrated my 20th anniversary.
No, it’s not my wedding anniversary.
Or my 20th year of training.
Or 20 years of playing guitar.
I’ve actually done all those things for (gasp!) more than 20 years.
Nope, last year marked 20 years of me shaving my head.
For those of you interested - and I know you all are - I shave it about every other day with a Mach 3 in the shower. And, no, it’s not scary although nicking your head (which, honestly rarely happens thanks to the fine engineers at Gillette) does suck.
I probably should have started earlier. I began losing my hair when I was in my mid-20s which was rather painful.
You have to understand, losing your hair is tough for any young guy, but when I was in my mid-20s being bald at any age was barely acceptable. Bald was saved for the villains in the comic books. Or for guys who would never get girls. Or for middle-aged Dads at synagogue.
The turning point for bald acceptance, in my experience, was Michael Jordan. When Michael started losing his hair as the 90s approached, he shaved it down to the dome and, all of a sudden, one of the coolest guys on the planet was advocating for a bald lifestyle.
And while this was encouraging, I was not delusional enough to think that my pale, out of shape, non-multimillionaire self was going to look as cool as MJ without hair.
So I fought it and moved it around and did my best until one day I realized a truth that every man in my situation should fully recognize and embrace: balding is way worse than bald.
Initially I went to the barbershop across the street from my Brooklyn apartment where Lana, the shop owner and sole employee, buzzed my head down but not before asking me about 4 times in her very, very thick Russian accent “are you suuuuure?”
It was better. But I hated it. I hated being a bald guy.
And, here’s a secret. I still don’t like it.
There are two types of bald guys out there. The ones that, while they may have accepted it, don’t really like being bald. And liars.
Interestingly my favorite website, Reddit, somehow knows that I am bald. They keep recommending I join groups such as Bald, Balding, Tressless, Men’s Grooming and about 3 or 4 more.
They also invited me to join some groups about new hair treatments that were either not available or not nearly as popular when I went through my hair loss. Things such as topical and oral drugs, hair systems (which used to be called toupees when I was a kid), hair transplants and something called SMP (which is basically tattooing stubble onto your head so you look like you have a full head of hair but just choose to shave it).
Now, I’m not going to fly to Turkey for a hair transplant or have someone tattoo my head with stubble - although science says that perhaps I should.
That’s right, there is mounting scientific research that shows that self-improvement and perhaps surprisingly, physical self-improvement, actually leads to a long term increase in happiness.
Now, let me take a step back here for a second.
One of the things I love about the younger generations is that they have distanced physical self-improvement from self-worth. And while we are probably bombarded with more unrealistic images of ideal physicality, there are more people confidently rocking and advocating for different body types, skin tones and, dare I say it, hair types than ever. And this is a positive thing. It’s hard to argue that one’s sense of self should only or even predominantly be wrapped up in their appearance.
But with that being said, taking care of oneself and having that manifest in perceived physical improvement led to greater happiness than other important metrics such as relationship status, financial improvement and educational achievement.
I feel like it’s worth mentioning - even though I am not advocating for this - that even the use of enhancements and cosmetic surgery (like the aforementioned hair transplants) led to a greater happiness outcome when participants perceived that it enhanced their physical appearance.
And perhaps most importantly, the resulting happiness was long lasting.
Now, before you run to your favorite plastic surgeon and ask her to give you the full Mickey Rourke, there are other things you can do that are much less invasive (and frankly, less costly) that are almost guaranteed to help you look better and, in turn, feel better and increase your sense of happiness.
The first thing I’m going to recommend, not surprisingly, is strength training. Now, I realize that most people don’t want to “get bulky” which I fully understand. However, more people are at risk of low amounts of muscle mass and don’t realize how much some additional muscle tone will improve their appearance. This is exactly what happened to me. I lost 60lbs when I initially got into training but it wasn’t until I started strength training that I actually looked like someone who went to the gym.
Don’t be afraid of muscle mass. It isn’t going to stack on as quickly as you think and it plays a key role even if you want to remain toned, lean, petite or whatever the kids are calling it these days.
Proper nutrition and adequate hydration also go a long way when it comes to appearance. This goes beyond just hitting specific calorie targets and macronutrients (although that helps) and relies on prioritizing nutrient-dense foods and sufficient fiber. And no need to worry about overdoing the hydration or relying on alkaline or hydrogen water. Just reliably get in an adequate amount of water each day (around .5oz per pound of bodyweight is a good place to start).
Sleep that is both adequate in length (the average adult requires 7.5 hours of sleep, a bit more if you train hard) and also as consistent as possible does wonders. Try to go to bed and awaken at the same time each day and keep your bedroom very dark and rather cool.
Exposure to sunlight, although demonized in recent decades, is remarkably healthy as long as it is not overdone. You should never aim to burn your skin. But 30-45 minutes of exposure to sunlight does more good than harm.
And, hopefully this should go without saying, basic grooming such as brushing and flossing your teeth, washing your body, wearing clean clothes and cutting your hair can transform both your outlook and appearance is also critical for long term health.
I know, I know. None of this is mind blowing information. But that’s a good thing. Unlike my chrome dome most of the things listed here are actually in your control.
And you don’t have to travel to Turkey to get them done.
Some people are truly self-obsessed and, frankly, that isn’t my target audience for this message. I feel that most people fall on the other side of the coin. That they feel too busy or too guilty or too ashamed to take care of themselves or their appearance.
My kids need help with their homework! There are wildfires on the West Coast! I don’t want to participate in the capitalist beauty industrial complex!
And I get this. I really do. But just like they encourage you to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others during an airplane emergency (which, given the news lately seems like something we should really pay attention to) it is very hard to be in service to your family, community, country and world without first taking care of yourself.
So if world peace hinges on me having a full head of hair, so be it.