I don’t like peanut butter.
There, I said it.
At the risk of being ridiculed by the entire training community - and barely a month after confessing that I don’t like jelly, either - I am declaring publicly, loudly, that Peter Pan and Jiff and even the all-natural, two-ingredient stuff skeeves me out.
I fully realize this admission might keep me out of the Meathead Hall Of Fame.
There currently isn’t an actual Meathead Hall Of Fame, but there should be.
Perhaps, I’ll create it. That will be my legacy. I’ll build a Meathead Hall Of Fame in Canton, Ohio, right next to the Professional Football Hall Of Fame. But the “Meat Hall” (which will be its nickname, natch) will be bigger and grander and will have an inaugural class of Eugen Sandow, George Hackenschmidt, Paul Anderson, Jack LaLane, Jane Fonda, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Charles Poliquin. There will be interactive exhibits where you test your grip strength and pull a truck with a rope and a wall that you sign if you “benched 315 in high school but can’t now cause of a shoulder thing” which, of course, will need to be about as long as the Great Wall of China.
Stay tuned for the pre-sale.
Surprisingly, being averse to peanut butter (as well as its soulmate, jelly) hasn’t stopped me from living a fulfilling life and getting all of my nutritional needs covered. Quite the opposite, honestly. Because peanut butter is a pretty calorically dense food and, from what I observed, most people do not consume it in conservative doses.
But my point here, and I promise that I will keep this brief, is that I’ve managed to work around my atypical relationship with George Washington Carver’s beloved creation.
Sure, it hasn’t always been easy. When you are a kid, PB&J is a staple. It’s a fall back. If you were over a friend’s house playing (which, I realize, doesn’t really happen these days but that’s a topic for another blog post) their Mom could always rest assured she could whip up some peanut butter and jelly on Wonder Bread and everyone would be happy.
Except me. I would not be happy.
Oh, yeah, I told you I’d get to the point. The point is, workarounds may not always be easy but they certainly do almost always exist.
Yet there are so many people who will tell you that you will not be able to reach your specific fitness goals unless you use a specific exercise and that is very rarely true. There are almost always alternatives.
Luckily your old pal, Uncle Dan, is here with step-by-step instructions on how to figure out the best alternatives for you, should you need them.
But first, let’s get the caveats out of the way. If you are participating in a barbell sport - say powerlifting - you will clearly need to to train the competitive lifts. Namely, squatting, benching and deadlifting.
Similarly it should go without saying that if you want to run a marathon you are going to need to run. And, if you want to compete in a CrossFit competition you need to be comfortable with the two dozen or so movements that seem to be utilized.
Those are the rules. I didn’t make them.
But while the squat is a terrific leg developer and pull-ups carry over tremendously to athletic performance, you can still get thick juicy legs and be a great athlete without those movements.
Which seems somewhat obvious as you read these words here but, trust me, there are so many people wrapped up in the “king of all exercise” dogma that they will tell you that if you can’t deadlift or run or whatever you might as well drive directly passed your apartment and check into the old aged home for the muscularly challenged cause you are cooked.
The truth is there are almost always alternatives if a movement - even a key movement - doesn’t agree with you that will still allow you to reach your goals.
So, as promised about 8 paragraphs ago, here’s a quick checklist that can help you figure out what to do when what you are supposed to do is not what you want to do or can do.
But, before I get to that, the first thing is to ask yourself “why”?
“Why, insert your name here, why don’t I want to insert name of scary exercise?
And if the answer is anything from “I don’t know how” to “I just don’t like it” to “I’m a bit scared and intimidated” I would encourage you seek out a way (maybe through a video or in person coach) to learn more about how to safely and effectively perform that movement. Being freaked out is okay but it’s not a good reason to avoid the exercises that can really help you.
Ok, as much as I love a running joke, no more stalling. Here are the steps to regress a movement from something that causes you pain or doesn’t agree with you to something you can handle and still benefit from.
The first move, which is comically obvious but still must be mentioned, is lighten the load.
A back squat doesn’t have to start at a particular weight to be effective. And, conversely, when you load any movement to the point that you shorten the range of motion (which absolutely happens when you lift more than you are capable) you are no longer maximizing the benefits of that movement. So if you find that you lock up on a movement because it feels heavy, simply go down to a weight where you can use proper technique and you experience no pain.
If that’s not working for you, your next step is to reduce the range of motion. Remember, we don’t want to sacrifice range or motion because we are using too much weight but if you find that even with an empty bar or the lightest dumbbell you are having problems, you can reduce the range of motion to something that is possible. Let me give you an example:
Many people struggle to hold a good position when deadlifting off the floor. However if they raise the bar by a few inches to a few feet, the position becomes easier and the movement becomes doable. So by finding an appropriate range of motion - and hopefully one that you can repeat consistently and progress over time - you can still perform the movement even if it’s only a part of it.
The next adaptation you can make is to change your stance or base of support. If bilateral back squatting isn’t working for you (where your two feet are lined up), a split squat where you're in more of a lunge stance and your chest is more upright might work just fine. Or you might not even have to take it that far. By simply altering your stance by elevating your heels you might be able to sink deeper into your typical squat and take some stress off your back.
And if altering stance isn’t enough, you can alter your entire base of support. Remember doing things on one foot is going to give you the least amount of contact with the floor. Laying on the ground will give you the most. So consider if there is a way to take a movement from a standing position to a kneeling position or seated position or lying position. For example, you may have a hard time hip hinging from your feet with a Romanian Deadlift, you may have no problem utilizing that same movement pattern while laying on the floor and performing a glute bridge.
Finally, if reducing the load, limiting the range of motion and increasing the base of support don’t allow you to get the movement pattern you want effectively, consider opting for a machine version of the movement. Machines offer increased points of contact with your body and require less movement control as the patterns are usually fixed. Something like barbell squatting requires a lot of motor competency. And while a leg press isn’t an apples to apples comparison, you will get similar joint movement and muscle development with less of the exercise skill needed.
One of these techniques should work. And, honestly, if you still cannot move a joint or joints with these amendments you may have a legitimate injury that requires rehabilitation so make sure you look into that. Because if you can’t do a push up against a wall with your torso nearly vertical without crippling shoulder pain, something is likely wrong.
Remember, exercises don’t hurt people. People hurt people.
Wait, that’s not right.
People don’t hurt people. Some exercises hurt some people.
Better, but still not quite right.
Let me work on it and I’ll have that figure out just in time for my acceptance speech into the Meat Hall.