You don’t need to perform a wellness check.
Do not call my emergency contact.
No need to reach out to the local hospitals.
I’m absolutely fine.
I realize this may be in doubt as the title of this blog post gave you deep, deep concern.
No classic rock song title? No four word emotional dagger meant to draw you in? What happened to the Dan we all know and love?
I appreciate your concern. I really do. But no need to worry. I’m absolutely fine.
The truth is, I’ve worked on this blog post about three times longer than I usually do.
Typically, I write pretty quickly. I’ve got years of training and life stories to pull from, an endless supply of pop culture references to, well, reference and enough corny Dad jokes to get us through 800 words. And over the years it’s gotten easier for me to show some vulnerability and tap into the emotional side of working out.
Most people fear writing. The blank page. The writer’s block. I don’t see it that way at all. I look at writing as an indulgence. I can get the cacophony out of my head and onto a virtual sheet of paper where it no longer needs to weigh me down.
It’s basically therapeutic ice cream.
For this one I wanted to be even more reflective than usual. Because this is our 10 year anniversary post.
That’s right, The Fort, - the Synagogue of Strength. The House That Hustle Built, the beloved institution that you can thank for being subscribed to this very blog - we’re turning 10.
(No one refers to us by these nicknames, btw.)
But rather than emote all over you by reflecting over the past 10 years, I want to give you something more tactical. Something more meaty. Something for anyone who has started or thought about starting their own business.
Hence, the title. Think of this post as half Hormozi, half Hallmark card. But like that good Hallmark card that hits you in the feels. Not the bullshit that just gets sparkles all over your kitchen table.
Hopefully you’ll indulge me for the next few pages as I pivot from talking about reps and sets and program design and movie quotes and donuts and dead grandparents and get a bit more into our experience of starting and running a small business in the middle of NYC for a decade.
And, yes, I might also get emotional. You’ve been warned.
Lesson 1: You chose this.
Starting a small business is tough. Keeping it going is tougher. These are universal truths. Sure, some businesses have it harder than others but we all have our “oh shit” moments when it all feels like (or actually is) at the brink of collapse. And it’s in these moments that you must remind yourself that you chose this path.
You could have settled for a regular job with a steady paycheck and three weeks of PTO after 5 years on the job, but you didn’t. Instead you chose to birth something new into the world. Something you thought it needed. And that’s admirable. But it’s also going to be brutal. So don’t take it out on family or friends when they don’t understand. They can’t understand. There is no way to understand unless you are in it.
You put yourself here. Accept it.
(Good news is, the longer you are in it, the easier it is to absorb the brutal moments and temper your excitement and expectations when things are going well.)
Lesson 2: You cannot do this alone.
Not two sentences ago I said that no one else will understand. But that doesn’t mean you don’t need anyone else. You desperately need them. Because when things go absolutely sideways, people might not understand but they will still love you. And it’s in those moments that you will need their love more than ever.
Beyond the emotional support, you will literally need people to help you if you want to grow your business. You will fight with this. Thinking no one can do it the way you do it or care as much as you care. Fair enough. No one is going to care about your baby as much as you do. But thinking there is no one out there who can contribute is a deadly false belief that will ultimately cost you everything if you don’t get beyond it.
There was a time when we fully believed that Kyle and I had to lead all the training sessions. No one could do it as well as we could. Clients would quit if we weren’t their trainers. And if we would have continued believing that we would have ended up nowhere.
Here is the truth: there are others out there with good intentions and good skill sets who will not only help you, they’ll get you way, way beyond where you would be without them.
Lesson 3: You get to choose who you work with.
One of the greatest things about running a small business is that you get to choose who you work with. Unlike working at a bank or an advertising agency, you can curate your coworkers. No more taking a circuitous route to the bathroom so you can avoid Janice from HR who is, once again, going to give you shit about your expense reports but not before giving you a ten minute story about this really cute thing her shih tzu, Bonny, did this weekend.
For me, this started by partnering with Kyle and it would be a mistake to not mention what a great enhancer of life my relationship with him has been over the past decade. In many, many ways Kyle and I are absolute opposites. But the fact that we understand that and approach each other and our differences with love and respect has turned that potential friction into one of our greatest assets as a company.
Perhaps more importantly he’s been someone I could talk to about personal struggles and the challenges of being human - and you don’t often get that in a business partner. Kyle has done something remarkable: he’s the hare who actually respects the tortoise. And that’s why this thing works.
See,I told you I might get emotional.
I could probably write a similar paragraph for each one of our general managers, head coaches, trainers, maintenance staff and everyone who allows us to keep this rolling. I enjoy every single one of them and it’s been a real pleasure to spend my days with them over the past decade.
And this not only goes for our current staff but those who’ve come before, as well. Even if we didn’t part on the best of terms it isn’t lost on me that we wouldn’t have been able to take steps forward without all the people who helped us along the way.
OK, this was supposed to be about helping you and I turned it into a love letter from me. But, hey, I am who I am. I’ll try to get us back on track.
Lesson 4: Act out of integrity. Always tell the truth.
There will be times that, in an effort to put your best foot forward or get attention or even just survive, you might be tempted to twist, omit or vaguely state information that will leave people wondering what you stand for and if you can be trusted.
This is never worth it. Even if it means you lower your status in that person’s eyes or you blow the sale or, God forbid, means you have to shut down your business. Always act out of integrity and tell people the truth. Many, many things can be lost and gained in business over and over again - clients, money, progress. Your reputation is not one of those things. Once it’s gone it’s almost impossible to get back.
You will have many, many sleepless nights as an entrepreneur. Don’t make not being able to look yourself in the mirror the reason for any of them.
Lesson 5: Don’t do it the way everyone else is doing it.
This can easily be misinterpreted. You should absolutely stand on the shoulders of giants by seeing what people want and what has worked for other businesses in your sector.
But if you spend your time trying to be like the studio down the street and not like yourself, you will fail. Cause they will always be way better at what they do than you will be at copying them. Plus they have a giant headstart on you.
Good news is, this works both ways. Get successful enough, other businesses will try to copy yours. But they can’t. Cause only you are you.
Certainly you need to figure out what the market wants. But once you do, put as much of your beliefs, experience and knowledge into it as possible. Cause you are the only one who can build a business based on that.
The powers that be tell me attention spans are dwindling and I should keep blog posts to 600 words. In true Fort fashion, I’ve already blown past that PR.
So I’ll leave you here with the first half of our decade’s worth of lessons. Next week, I’ll share the five that nearly broke us and the ones that made it all worth it.