I do.

I’m holding my son when he is just a couple of days old. He’s wrapped up in that classic white with blue and pink stripe hospital blanked while I also have a blanket we brought from home draped across my shoulders.

It’s a fairly tight close up and I’m looking down at him while he is peacefully sleeping in my arms and it’s a really nice reminder of an absolutely pivotal time in both our lives.

Ok, while that was a lovely trip down memory lane, that’s actually not the type of photograph I’m talking about here.

No, I want to know if you have a favorite famous photograph.

Maybe it’s Ansel Adam’s “Moonrise” or “V-J Day in Time’s Square” where a sailor kisses a nurse to celebrate the end of the war or the desperation of Florence Owens Thompson surrounded by her children during the depression in Dorthea Lange’s “Migrant Mother”.

There are so many great ones to choose from but I think my favorite might be by Yuri Cortez taken in 2012 in Mexico.

Cortez was there to photograph Pope Benedict’s visit and was stationed perfectly above the parade route to get his shot.

Now, I am neither Latino nor Catholic but my understanding is that, if you are, a chance to even glimpse at the Pope in real life is a big thing. And you can sense that from the citizens along the parade route, standing dozens deep, crushing towards the metal barricades while confetti hangs in the air that it truly is a huge deal.

Moments before the motorcade is set to arrive, a lone, stray, scruffy dog finds his way onto the parade route. As he trots directly down the middle of the road he cocks his head towards the crowd and, in that exact moment that Cortez catches on film, the dog seems to truly believe that all those people are there to see him.

As you know, I don’t typically add any images into these emails (something about them being less likely to be delivered to your inbox) but in this case, I will make an exception.

And I love this photograph because the dog is (cute and confidently) wrong. Obviously there is no way to know exactly what that dog is thinking but my hope is it’s something like “Holy shit, all these people are here to see me!”

When, in reality, nobody is there to see him.

Thousands of people are standing along that street, but almost none of them are thinking about the dog. They have their own reason for being there. Something else that they are waiting for. Their own experience occupying their attention.

Which, strangely enough, brings me to the gym.

One of the things I hear from people who are intimidated about going to the gym is some version of:

"I feel like everyone is looking at me." or, ironically, “I’m not in good enough shape yet to start.”

They’re worried someone will notice that they don’t know how to use a piece of equipment. That they’re lifting less weight than everyone else. That they're out of shape. That they don't know what they're doing.

But here's the good news, you're the dog.

You think everyone lined up along the barricades is watching your squat.

They aren't.

The guy next to you is wondering if you noticed that he missed his last rep. The woman across the room is trying to remember whether she's on her third set or fourth. The guy staring in your direction may simply be waiting for the cable machine behind you.

There is even an actual psychological term for this: the spotlight effect. We tend to dramatically overestimate how much other people notice our appearance, mistakes, awkwardness and failures when, in truth, even when they do notice they stop thinking about it long before we do.

We are all the main character in our own lives and supporting characters in almost everyone else's.

That's incredibly liberating in the gym. Nobody cares how much you're lifting. Nobody cares that you had to look at the diagram on the machine. Nobody is keeping track of whether you've gained ten pounds or lost twenty. And the people who do notice you are probably thinking about you far less than you imagine. Or, in my experience, the actual opposite might be true. People might just admire you for showing up.

So do the workout. Try the thing you're bad at. Use the lighter dumbbells. Ask the meathead next to you the embarrassing question (he’ll love that you asked for advice, by the way). Learn the movement. Wear the shorts. Take your shirt off at the beach, for that matter.

You don't have to wait until you feel like you belong there.

Because the parade probably isn't about you.

This wasn’t the way one aspires to be recognized.

Rodeo was a bar in Murray Hill a few blocks away from my apartment. I was currently standing at a completely different bar in a completely different neighborhood (Niagra, in the East Village, if you must know) being recognized as the same guy from a not-so-neighboring bar.

Back then I used to go to Rodeo three to four nights per week and get three to four drinks each time. You could double that on my better nights.

These days I probably have three to four drinks per year.

But, don’t worry. This isn’t a lecture about the dangers of alcohol addiction or even a breakdown of how alcohol provides calories with no nutritional benefit, is very disruptive to sleep and is quite hard on your organs.

I won’t even mention the more-than-questionable claim that red wine is somehow “good for you”.

No, what I want to talk about is identity. Or maybe, more directly, what “taking breaks” can do to your identity.

There is something in the study of rhetoric and debate that is called the inoculation effect. It’s essentially when you pre-plant an argument in a small, benign way in order to get your audience to accept the premise before dramatically ramping up your case in order to prove your point.

And you usually don’t say “hey, I’m warming you up to this idea” during your debate (just like you don’t say, “hey, I’m going to give you a little bit of measles in this shot so you don’t get the measles”) but I’m going to blow my cover here and tell you that’s what I’ve done with my opening story.

The stranger at the bar identified me as a guy who probably lives in bars. And now I never go to bars.

“You changed your identity to something much more healthy. Good for you, Dan!” you are likely saying as you nod at your phone screen while making others on the subway slightly uncomfortable.

And now you are probably thinking that this whole piece is going to be about how you can change your identity from someone who has bad habits (like drinking) to someone who has good habits (like going to the gym).

And that would be nice and make sense and fit into a little comfortable box but what I really want to discuss, because it’s a much more nuanced and much more common issue, is how taking a break from your identity - particularly the positive aspects of your identity - is a trap.

(Now that I think about it, maybe I used less “innoculation effect” and more of the plain old “switcheroo”. My rhetoric professor would not be pleased.)

But, before we get to that, how about we pause for a song.

“Give me a break, give me a break. Break me off a piece of that…”

Now, if you are deep Gen X like me or even an older millennial you immediately finished that line with “Kit Kat bar” and will now have that jingle stuck in your head for the rest of the day.

You are welcome.

Taking a break has become a much desired aspect of our lives.

We want a break from the day-to-day on weekends and vacations. We’ve been given a break room where we eat our lunches and gossip about our fellow employees. We even tuned into our TV’s on Friday nights to watch “Gimme A Break” starring Nell Carter (there’s another one for my Gen X people out there!). Even our chocolate bars provide us a much needed break.

We need a break. We deserve a break. If only I can get to my next break!

Don’t worry. This isn’t about to turn into a piece on hustle culture and how you need to grind in order to be successful.

But when you do take breaks from things that you value, particularly if those things require effort or are challenging, you are putting yourself at risk of no longer having those positive things be part of your identity.

There will be times when you take natural breaks from training. But when that version of you stops showing up for long enough, other people stop seeing you that way. And, eventually, so do you.

And that’s great if you, like me, no longer want to identify as the guy who goes to bars or is the champion at “all you can eat ribs” night. But it’s not so great when it comes to the things that you value or miss about yourself.

But let me deliver some good news.

If you’ve been on a break for longer than maybe you should have, you don’t have to wait until you feel like that person again before you come back.

You come back first.

You put on your shoes. You walk through the door. You pick up something heavy. You do a little less than you used to. You get a little more tired than you remember. And then you come back and do it again.

And, slowly, something familiar starts to happen.

You stop feeling like someone who used to train.

You start feeling like someone who trains.

Maybe you’ve been gone for two weeks. Maybe six months. Maybe it’s been years and you barely recognize the version of yourself who used to do this.

But that version of you didn’t disappear.

Because the weights are still there.

The squat rack is still there.

The gym is still there.

Waiting for you to come back.

And, maybe, waiting for you to recognize yourself again.

I mean a “real” psychic.

Not some lady sitting at a folding table set up on the sidewalk or even Madame Marie in her beachside shack on the Asbury Park boardwalk.

I mean a by-appointment psychic. I mean a you-need-a-referral-to-get-in psychic.

I have. His name was Raymond. My Aunt Miriam got me in.

For a while, Aunt Miriam didn’t make a big personal or financial move without consulting Raymond. She was happy to send me.

Raymond worked out of a loft in his West Village apartment. When you arrived you were greeted by Raymond’s quite-frankly-out-of-his-league boyfriend whose job was to sit silently with you on the couch watching “Inside Edition” until Raymond called you up to his space.

The loft was outfitted with a glass table which Raymond heftily set behind. He wore all black, smoked thin brown cigarettes and had a silhouette that was more Jabba The Hut than the chiseled boyfriend who waited downstairs.

In 30 minutes, Raymond determined that I was going to marry a woman named Robin and was going to work for channel 4. None of which came true.

He did give me one simple and amazing piece of advice before I left.

He told me that he could sense from my lower abdomen that I worry too much. He advised me to stop.

“There’s no need to worry, Dan,” he said as I stood up to leave. “Nothing good comes from it, anyway.”

The days and weeks after my meeting with Raymond, I thought about what he said quite a bit. Should I send my resume to someone at Channel 4? Should I start asking girls in bars if their name was Robin?

Ultimately, I took no action based on Raymond’s prognostication. Well, maybe that’s not entirely true. I guess I didn’t worry about finding Robin or Channel 4 which was bang on his final advice.

I’m not sure how much I actually believe in psychics. I am a man of science, after all. But I do know that there are plenty of things that do exist that can’t be explained or that I just don’t understand.

I also know this: while I have no psychic ability, I do know why so many of you won’t reach your fitness goals.

No, I don’t have a crystal kettlebell. I’m not part of some meathead illuminati that controls who gets jacked and who is doomed to perpetually have noodle arms.

I simply have eyes and ears and a lot (A LOT!) of experience talking to people about their approach to fitness. And the thing that separates the achievers from the wannabes is staring you in the mirror.

No, it’s not your aforementioned noodle arms that are the problem (although that isn’t helping). It’s not that your program isn’t optimized or that you don’t have access to high-end barbells or even your genetics. The problem is you.

Or, more specifically, your need to know everything will work out and there will be absolutely no obstacles before you commit. I’ll give you a classic example.

Client wants to start training two days per week. Says they are available any weekday and at most times. I tell them we have Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday available. Their response?

“You don’t have anything on Wednesday???”

And while this sounds made up (and is certainly one of the more comical examples) it is just one of many instances of needing to “check the train stops and what my work schedule looks like in 6 months and see what my astrology chart has to say” before they could possibly sign up.

Here’s the thing, I actually understand.

It’s all new and scary and sounds like a big commitment and while you know that you need to take your health and fitness more seriously when it’s time to actually pull the trigger, you get cold feet and try to find every reason why now is not the right time.

But let me give you an honest-to-goodness pro tip, it’s never going to be a good time. There is always going to be a work project or a family trip or your niece’s Bat Mitzvah or an unplanned bill in your future.

When you are worried that something won’t work because life can get chaotic is actually the best time to try that thing. Because, guess what, life is going to get unpredictable sometimes. So why not give it a shot under less than ideal condiitions so you’ll have confidence you can make it work even when things get wonky. Again, I’m no psychic but I’m pretty sure even Raymond would agree.

Here’s what I’ve come to realize as the decades have passed since my first visit to a real psychic; Raymond's predictions were completely wrong, but his advice was completely right.

He couldn't tell me what was going to happen. Just like I can’t tell you what is going to happen.

People delay decisions because they're trying to eliminate uncertainty before acting. They want to know they'll like the gym, that work won't get busy, that they'll stick with it, that this is the perfect program, that the money won't be needed elsewhere, that six months from now the same schedule will work.

They're essentially trying to be Raymond.

But Raymond couldn't even fucking do it, and he was the professional psychic.

Raymond got Robin wrong. He got Channel 4 wrong. He had absolutely no idea what was going to happen to me.

Neither do you.

You don't know whether the new gym will work out, whether you'll love Pilates, whether Wednesday will eventually become inconvenient, or whether the second date will become the love of your life.

You get to find out only after you decide.

Maybe the only thing Raymond got right was the one thing he wasn't predicting.

There's no need to worry. Nothing good comes from it anyway.

My wife was camped out in front of it but I couldn’t watch.

Instead I chose to just sit on our bed and strum my guitar for hours, playing louder than usual in hopes to drown out the television audio that was only a Brooklyn apartment’s distance away.

To be fair, the news was the only thing that was available. It wasn’t like they were going to run episodes of “How I Met Your Mother” at a time like this. All sports and travel and work and, well, everything really was suspended. All we really had was the news, that guitar and each other.

I was sitting on that same bed, strumming that same guitar when the first plane hit earlier that week. I was still working in advertising back then and there was no point in getting to the agency before 10AM. So after my wife left for work, I’d practice for a half hour before taking the short subway ride into Manhattan.

We lived right across the harbor. You could see the towers if you looked at an angle from our kitchen window.

I heard the collision but I had no idea.

“Some truck must have really eaten it on the Brooklyn Queens Expressway,” I thought to myself as I grabbed my messenger bag and headed into work.

By the time I entered and exited the subway people were rumbling. And when I scaled the station stairs at 6th Avenue and 23rd Street, I looked down the canyon and saw the smoke billowing from the building.

It wasn’t until I got to the agency and walked into my bosses office that we saw the second plane hit in real time and started to get an inkling of what was actually happening.

The rest of the day feels like a vaseline smeared blur. The Pentagon. Pennsylvania. The packed and silent subway ride home after collecting my wife from the office after they restarted mass transit so kids could get home from school. The soot that covered our neighborhood.

And the smell. The smell of jet fuel and twisted metal and despair. That is not hazy. I can still feel that smell in my nose 25 years later.

The days and weeks after, the search, the clean up, the concerts, the sporting events, the camaraderie, it all made this feel like the biggest thing that we were ever going to go through.

And, in many ways it has been. But what no longer surprises me now isn't what happened that day. It's how differently people seem to remember it. Or don’t remember it at all.

For a while it felt like we'd discovered something we'd forgotten. That we actually belonged to one another. That strangers would help strangers. That politics and careers and neighborhoods.

Seemingly that is also part of the lasting legacy. Rather than the hope and promise we all held for each other as a community that would band together after the vulnerabilities of such an event we’ve seen people drift apart. Having experienced it all first hand, this is a painful reality.

Many may not realize but the actual name of our gyms are not “The Fort” but “The Fort NYC”. This has always been an important distinction. NYC is where we started and where we have always been. NYC is often at the forefront of just about everything. The City is in our heritage. It’s in our bones.

And maybe that's why small group training always felt like the right model. It's a reminder that people accomplish remarkable things together that they almost never accomplish alone.

I built a place where strangers become teammates because I experienced firsthand what a city looks like when strangers become teammates.

When early September comes around I find myself taking the opposite approach. Rather than hiding in the bedroom I turn the television on. I watch the documentaries and retrospectives. I take in the blue beams of light that fill the sky as I take my dog out for the last walk of the night. And I try to relive and breathe in the pain that we all felt a quarter century ago.

All of it is my small way of honoring our beloved city both then and now. And upholding the promise that we all made back then to never forget.

It was during a Friday morning summertime commute. Which, in NYC, means that there were certainly people on the train, it wasn’t packed. But, nonetheless, all the seats were taken.

As I saw her scanning the car and, ultimately, grab the pole in resignation, knowing that she’d be standing until the next stop, I asked if she needed help.

“Would you like me to see if I can get a seat for you?” I asked.

“That’s okay,” she said. “I’ve learned not to ask after I got yelled at last time.”

She went on to tell me that last time she asked someone if she could sit down they told her that she asked to aggressively.

This was wild to me. First off, nothing about this woman read as aggressive in any way. Secondly, who the fuck is so fragile that when a pregnant woman asks for your seat that your thought is “well, I would, but I didn’t like the way you asked.”

Now I just wanted to rip the first person I saw out of their seat for vindication (what can I say, I have a giant hero complex) but decided to play it cool.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but if you want my help I’d be more than happy,” I said as I quietly eyeballed the two guys sitting in the priority seating section who were hiding behind their sunglasses.

This isn’t the first time I’ve played subway vigilante. Several months ago a Dad with a screaming infant and a cumbersome stroller was trying everything he could to calm the baby down. As he juggled the baby while trying to reach under the stroller for a bottle I didn’t wait or ask for approval.

I just went up to the two guys across from them and not so calmly said, “Come on, guys. Let’s get up and give Dad a place to sit down and set up shop.”

And while, unlike the aforementioned pregnant woman above, I could easily have been accused as having a tone that is “too aggressive” it worked as the two startled gentlemen got up right away.

None of this, by the way, has anything to do with the topic of this post - something I refer to as “tolerance for repetition” which I will get to shortly - nor is it to self-aggrandize as some modern day Bernard Goetz for new and expecting parents.

It is more to just implore you, my friends, neighbors and fellow mass transit riders, to be better. I promise, standing up for roughly 14 minutes of your day isn’t going to kill you.

OK, now that my PSA is complete, let me, in the words of Snoop Dogg, get back to the lecture at hand.

Tolerance of repetition is a not-so-fancy term that I have come up with that is a nuanced first cousin of consistency.

Here are the subtle differences: consistency is simply the capability and willingness to do something for a long time. Going to the gym three times per week. Eating for your goals. Showing up to work everyday for forty years so you can retire with a small pension and a gold watch.

Tolerance of repetition is often more effective and typically more terrible. Rather than just going to the gym three times per week, can you work on the same eight big-bang-for-your-buck movements every week for months or years without fail? Can you, rather than sneak in some sweets that technically keep you at your macros, eat the same six things each week for months? While you are building your business, can you stick with the slow, repeatable actions that will ultimately get you where you want to go rather than chasing the shiny, exciting new thing?

With consistency you can still, for the most part, achieve some level of balance. Tolerance for repetition shrinks the possibilities way down. It will test your grit, your sanity and your actual dedication to your goals.

And, while most of us will hate this truth, it is the most direct and foolproof path to success. Certainly you need to first find the things that are worth repeating. But, honestly, that’s the easy part. Once that becomes clear, can you be patient, diligent and, perhaps, psychotic enough to follow those parameters for a lot longer than you would expect.

Because, in my humble experience and opinion, everything worthwhile that you want to achieve will take much longer than you’ve hoped and planned for.

Much longer.

Those 8 week transformations that you see on Instagram? Sure, they may have dialed in their diet for the past 8 weeks to get peeled, but all that muscle underneath took more like 8 years to build.

That bakery down the block that became an “overnight success” with lines around the corner? The head chef went to pastry school, interned in a restaurant night after night, worked on her creme brulee recipe for months before “instantly” hitting it big.

The talented kid who is about 3 standard deviations above everyone else in the high school jazz band spent endless evenings practicing a challenging five-note run on the trumpet to the point where the neighbors called the cops.

Outside of winning the lottery, it is hard to name anything valuable that doesn’t come with a reasonably high tolerance to repetition.

In the micro, you can see this in an individual workout. When things get challenging within a set most people shift into a pain face and do everything they can - speed up the reps, contort their bodies, quit early - to survive to the end.

But someone who has built up a real tolerance of (literal) repetition will know that the challenging part of the set is also the most effective for growth. They recognize that they’ve been there before and, rather than try to squirm away, they lock in, focus on technique and get the most out of those important reps.

Maybe that subway story wasn't as unrelated as I made it out to be.

Because at its core, this isn't really a post about exercise. It's a post about our relationship with discomfort.

On that train, the discomfort was standing for fourteen minutes so someone else who needed it more could sit. In the gym, it's doing one more technically sound rep when every fiber of your body wants to stop. In business, it's making another sales call, writing another newsletter, coaching another session when the exciting shortcut is calling your name.

Most people spend an incredible amount of energy trying to escape discomfort.

The people who accomplish extraordinary things simply get better at staying in it.

They develop a tolerance for repetition.

And maybe that's the real superpower.

Not talent. Not motivation. Not genetics.

Just the willingness to keep standing when everyone else is looking for a seat.

Five days and four nights on the New England coastline.

We’ve been doing some version of this trip nearly every Summer for the past 14 years.

My wife enjoys it because 1) she enjoys getting away and 2) it reminds her of her summers growing up near these same shoreline towns. My son enjoys it because he 1) enjoys getting away and 2) he likes the aquarium and going to the beach and, I realize this seems biased, just spending time with us.

Most people spend their entire year awaiting vacation. They can’t wait to go and lament coming back.

I, on the other hand, struggle. As the title of this blog suggests, I am terrible at vacations.

Before you “at me” as the kids say, yes, I understand the value of getting away. Of breaking the routine, relaxing and getting a fresh perspective. I can intellectualize the need for balance and new stimulation.

And it’s not that I don’t enjoy myself, I do. I’m not opposed to having an ocean breeze on my scalp or seeing a trained seal waive its tail on command or eating some fish tacos. And I do appreciate uninterrupted time with my family. It’s good for them and it’s good for me.

Yet I spend a lot of the time secretly wanting to go home. By day two I’m planning out new guitar lessons. By day three I’m pricing completely unnecessary fitness equipment.

The food I like to eat is at home. The gym is at home. So are my friends and co-workers.

I can work on the new program at home. I can also sit on the couch and play guitar for 15 minutes. Or catch an episode of The Bear with my wife. Or head outside to my preferred running route. Or take my son to our complex’s heated pool (why are indoor hotel pools so cold???).

And this all begs the question “what is wrong with me?” Why do I prefer the struggles, the routines, the people and the monotony that everyone else is trying to escape? Cause I’m certain my co-workers aren’t thinking “I wonder what Dan is up to” when they are in Miami Beach for the weekend.

I’ve thought about this quite a bit (mostly while on vacation) and I’ve come up with two potential answers.

The first is that I have some mental health issue.

That I rely on the ability to take action and be surrounded by the things I can control and are familiar to me in order to stave off the anxiety of being a small business owner, Dad to a special needs son, husband, son, brother and desperately-wanting-to-be-a-valuable citizen of the world.

And vacations take me away from all that.

I’d say there is a decent chance that’s it.

The more optimistic possibility is that I’ve simply - unlike many, many people - created a life that I truly enjoy. And escaping it feels like a downgrade.

I love getting to workout with my training partners. I enjoy getting to the end of the day and knowing that I’ve eaten for my goals and not who-the-fuck-knows-what-they-put-in-it restaurant food. I revel in coming up with a personal, ten minute story that circuitously leads to some point I am trying to make to my leadership team to start off our Monday meetings (although, to be fair, I’m not so sure how much they enjoy that). I enjoy methodically working on the same seven note guitar passage for 30 minutes until I get it under my fingers.

Which, perhaps, leads me to this lovely conclusion. Maybe I’ve simply been lucky enough to build a life I enjoy and days I look forward to. I’m terrible at vacations because I’ve managed to create a daily life I love, even with all its challenges and commutes and worries and everything else that are admittedly a part of it.

It’s sad for me to think that some people only feel alive when they are on vacation. That their days are simply a series of survival tasks until they’ve saved up enough money and PTO to go to the Grand Canyon for two weeks and finally breathe.

Hopefully that’s not you. Hopefully, you enjoy both. Perhaps you just like to travel. See new cultures. Or experience the wonders of the world. The Grand Canyon is beautiful. I’ve been there on vacation.

But, if that isn’t you. If you are living your life for two weeks per year I have some straight-on-the-nose advice for you, do something about it. Love your life or change it.

August is coming to an end and we are about to approach what I call “New York New Year”. That time when everyone comes off the beach and back from Long Island and floods the City. And this is the perfect time to restart building the life and routines you enjoy.

Enroll in a pottery class or start a weekly card game with friends or, I don’t know, join a gym and go three times per week. Try to build something that you’ll actually miss next July when you head out of town.

You don’t need to be terrible at vacations. But maybe you can be better at everything else that surrounds them.

We have a saying around here: reps are the best teacher. And I think I've hit the winning number.

You can research training. Observe training. Hire trainers. Spend your free time watching “Pumping Iron” on an infinite loop.

But nothing will give you the insight, the practical knowledge and actually make you progress more effectively than simply doing the reps.

Those other things will help. Reps are at the top of the list.

Hiring a coach will give you insights into programming and structure that could take years to learn on your own. Reading research reviews can really give you clarity into what aspects of training really matter and what is just minutia. Watching Arnold taunt Lou Ferrigno for 90 minutes can reveal the mental game that the best trainees employ to survive what can be hours and hours of brutal training.

But none of them are superior to getting your hands on some iron and putting your joints and muscles and soul through days and weeks and months of real training.

And when I say I finally have enough reps, it doesn’t mean that I’ve reached the end of the road as far as what the experience of training can teach me. Quite the contrary, I don’t know that there is a limit to what you can learn.

And, in my case, I’m not even talking about training at all.

You see, about six years ago or so, we started marketing the gym. In fact, it’s probably the reason so many of you are reading this right now. You saw an Instagram ad or searched for “gyms near me” on Google and were rewarded with endless content featuring a couple of meatheads and their minions imploring you to reach out and give our gym a try.

If you took the leap and signed up for a call there is a more than reasonable chance that you spoke to yours truly. In fact, by my wildly assumptive calculations, I’ve done roughly 10,228 calls since we started. And while this doesn’t exactly follow the “10,000 hour rule” (our calls only last about 15 minutes) I think I’ve talked to enough people at this point to identify a few factors that will determine whether or not they will be successful in the gym.

“But how, Dan,” you ask incredulously. “How could you possibly determine someone’s long term success over the phone in less than 15 minutes?”

As always, I’m glad you asked. Because I’ve been lucky enough to have time to connect the dots. To have the conversations AND see how it plays out. And when I link the two I’ve identified exactly two traits that are present in our most successful people.

The first one surprises me.

For years I’ve been telling people to be very thorough in their vetting process. Look around, ask questions, get to the point where you are remarkably and nearly unquestionably comfortable with the decision that you are making and then, once convicted, surrender to the process and give it a reasonable chance.

But the truth is the folks who find the most success in the gym are simply people of action. Sure, they want to know the relevant information about training and costs and logistics, they don’t ask a million follow up questions just hoping to find a flaw in the system so they can justify not taking action.

They don’t take three weeks to think about it. They don’t do a deep spreadsheet analysis to make sure that this fits their overall budget for the next five years. They don’t call every gym within a three mile radius and ask which protein drinks they stock in the fridge.

They get a reasonable amount of information and, if it feels like it’s got potential, they give it a try.

I know from not only our gym but from our colleagues and competitors as well that most training gyms (and I’m not talking about Equinox or Crunch or large training facilities) give you a pretty low risk, short term offer that allows you to try out the gym.

And asking all the questions in the world and reading every Google review can not hold a candle to walking into a facility, trying it for a few sessions and seeing if this is your place and these are your people.

When that is your mindset, you are going to have reasonable expectations, be open to the experience and, if it’s great, be able to make a long term commitment with all the information you truly need to feel awesome about it.

Conversely, when you stress and second-guess and put yourself and the gym through the ringer with the expectation they live up to some God-tier standards, of course you are going to have a hard time sticking with it. I mean, I’ve literally seen people put less scrutiny into choosing their master’s degree program or gynecologist than they do their gym. And, while I don’t have experience with either, the stakes seem way higher when you are paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for a degree or when someone is managing your hoo-ha.

Speaking of stakes, this leads me directly to trait numero dos.

You have to have a personal and urgent reason to train.

At this point, we all know that developing strength and maintaining muscle mass and prioritizing cardiovascular health and bone density are important. But that’s just your intellect talking to you.

When you are in the middle of a tough workout and sweat is pouring in your eyes or you have a heavy barbell on your back or you feel like there isn’t enough air in the room for you to catch your next breath, you are going to need a lot more than an intelligent rationale to finish and keep coming back.

Did you receive a warning about some bad health signs from your doctor? Are you going through the physical challenges or menopause? Did you get completely breathless chasing around your toddler for 40 seconds? Did you go to your high school reunion and feel like you suddenly look 10 years older than everyone else? Have all the men on your Dad’s side of the family died unexpectedly young? Have you achieved massive career goals and realize you let your health and well-being suffer in the process? Do you have a Hyrox coming up and feel unprepared?

These are the things that are going to keep you coming back when it gets difficult. And people who confront themselves with this do much better than those who are just looking for something new and trendy because they kinda like working out but get bored easily.

The stakes don’t have to be dire or even remarkably high. But between the cost, the schedule, the effort and every other barrier and excuse one can give themselves to avoid training - even when they know it’s good for them, even when they kinda, sorta like it - gym longevity will only be achieved when your purpose is more powerful than your excuses.

And it will not always be that way. One day you might transform. Going to the gym will be a natural, expected and regular part of your life. And that is a great thing to aspire to. A perfect North Star.

After more than ten thousand conversations, I still don't know everything about training or sales or human psychology.

But I do know this, the people who succeed aren't the ones who gather the most information. They're the ones who decide to act, and who have a reason that's strong enough to keep acting.

It turns out success has a lot less to do with finding the perfect gym than becoming the kind of person who's ready to commit to one.

Whether it’s in-person, in a book, in a movie theater, on YouTube, I just love a great story that is well told.

I have no idea how many Instagram posts I’ve randomly sent Kyle with the message “Great storytelling!” but it’s got to be hundreds.

Being able to write and tell a great story is a superpower and I’ve learned through the years that no one does it better than Irish people. Perhaps it’s their culture or the accent or just some sort of shared experience that runs through their blood. But it’s hard to match the eloquence, the delivery and the passion of a good Irish story teller.

There’s even a Gaelic word for it - seanchai - the traditional keepers of Ireland’s rich oral history, traditions and folklore.

We have something similar in fitness. We call them the “bro”.

The bro is responsible for keeping fitness myths, folklore and history alive. He will tell you that in order to maximize gains, your workouts must make you as sore as possible. That if you eat carbs after dark that they will turn directly into fat.

He will tell you about how he used to rep out 315 on the bench when he was in high school. He will tell you that the only way to a woman’s heart is to increase your pec size and squat numbers.

It’s easy to dismiss bros, but we need them. The day everyone becomes a science-based lifter and stops ending their workouts with sets of “21s” for biceps is the day we truly lose a part of our beloved barbell culture.

And though no one wants to admit it, much of the evidence-based strength training gospel we accept today started with a few meatheads experimenting with new ideas in the gym.

But, alas, the goal of this post is not to deify nor vilify the precious gym bro.

Instead I’d like to deftly pivot to the often counterproductive stories that we tell ourselves when it comes to our fitness journey.

People tend to cover a wide spectrum when it comes to the narratives they tell themselves regarding their gym progress.

Most people don't fall into one camp or the other. They fall somewhere between self-deception and self-condemnation.

On one side, we have those that are just completely fooling themselves. I think the kids these days refer to this as “coping” (as if that is some sort of new term).

Copers will give themselves every benefit of the doubt. Sure, they were supposed to get to the gym three times this week but they got busy at work so once this week it is. And, next week isn’t looking great either.

They know they are supposed to track their foods, but they pretty much eat the same thing all the time so it doesn’t really matter.

And they are definitely setting an alarm so they are sure to get to bed at 10:30 but maybe they just stay up for “15 more minutes” to binge watch the latest season of “The Bear”.

The danger here isn’t the lack of perfect execution. It’s that these people convince themselves that they are definitely getting it right 90% of the time when, in reality, it’s 40%.

And then, when things don’t work out, they blame the gym or their nutrition coach or their genetics.

“Going to the gym and eating protein just doesn’t work for me,” they say when, in reality, to paraphrase the great Taylor Swift, It’s you. Hi. You’re the problem, it’s you.

On the other, equally dangerous side of the spectrum are those of us who beat ourselves up for every deviation from the plan, every ounce of extra body fat or stretch mark they see in the mirror and every missed goal pace on their long run.

This level of self-imposed perfection is not only terrible for mental health, it robs of the joy of what you are capable of and, in almost every circumstance, how incredible you already look.

Listen, I get it. Progress is addictive and many high achievers have a picture in their mind of what they should be able to accomplish. And that is wonderful. Hold onto that. Work towards it.

But beating yourself up for a missed bench press rep or appearance of cellulite if you turn your body at just the right angle isn’t doing yourself any favors.

And I know you know this already. But I also know you let these thoughts creep in a lot more often than you might be willing to admit.

Which brings me back to storytelling. One of my favorite Irish storytellers passed away this week in a tragic motorcycle accident.

He was a singer-songwriter named Glen Hansard who rose to some prominence for his starring role in the independent movie “Once” for which he also won the Academy Award for Best Original Song.

In seeing Hansard perform live or in that movie or just in random YouTube clips the thing that always struck me was how he seemed to put his all into every song, every performance. Like he was just discovering it for the first time.

And equal to his ability to bring such passion to his performance was his ability to write in a way that just cut right into your soul.

In the song, Falling Slowly, for which he won that Oscar, he writes “you have suffered enough, and warred with yourself, it’s time that you won”.

And, in his honor, I hope those words resonate with you aforementioned overachievers.

I know this sounds like pop-psychology bullshit, but, in this case, it rings true. The stories you tell yourself will absolutely determine your actions, your outcomes and how you feel about yourself.

Tell yourself the truth.

Not the comforting story.

Not the cruel story.

Just the true one.

Number 5: Just last week as Kyle and I walked through Madison Square Park on our way back from breakfast to the gym a young guy with a lovely foreign accent came up to us and said “you guys are looking big!” and walked off. Acts of kindness still prevail in New York City.

Number 4: During a weekend at the waterpark with my family I was walking back to our chairs from the wave pool, still a bit wet and with a towel around my waist. As I approached, my wife looked me up and down and said, “between the bald head, the beard and the muscles you look like Zeus”. Thirty years of knowing each other and she still knows exactly what to say.

Number 3: Back when I was working in advertising I was taking a flight back home from Chicago after presenting to a client. As we were standing around waiting to board, a guy came up to me sheepishly and asked if he had seen me fight in a UFC event the previous weekend.

Number 2: I was sitting in the urologists office answering some questions when the doctor asked my wife to leave for a moment. He shut the door, looked me in the face and asked “are you taking any anabolic steroids?” When I told him I was not, he paused and said, “you can tell me if you are.”

Number 1: This happened at a Poliquin seminar. Charles Poliquin is a legendary strength coach and one of my early mentors. Charles was also fanatical about training arms. We were practicing skin fold caliper readings (where you pinch skin and measure it with a caliper in order to determine body fat distribution and percentage) and my friend Jose was trying to get the reading on the back of my arm. Charles walked over, took the caliper out of Jose’s hand and said, “because Dan has very big triceps…..” I can’t tell you what happened after that because I blacked out with joy.

As ridiculous as those stories are, I've realized something over the years. None of those compliments are actually why I still train.

Training (for me, and hopefully most people) is about a lot more than aesthetics. Health, performance, injury prevention, strength and a whole host of other benefits come as a result of a consistent and thoughtful exercise program.

And, for sure, in the past too much had been made about the visual outcomes that training provided. The first few times I stepped into the gym as a teenager there was no other consideration outside of how lifting weights would make arms, shoulders and chest look.

Sure, we were all impressed when Michael Schwartzberg could chest press the entire stack when we were in the Junior High School weight room. But we would have much rather preferred to have Jimmy Anson’s arms which were remarkably developed for a fourteen year old.

But, in my meathead opinion, the pendulum has currently swung too far the other way. The popularity of the body positivity movement of the last few years has taught us that we should be grateful and accepting of our bodies regardless of their faults and imperfections. And I love that idea. Accepting that having cellulite or less than perfect biceps insertions should not make you ashamed or angry at your body.

But the opposite is also true. You should be allowed to appropriately flaunt the aspects of your physique that you are proud of as well. Whether that’s a fitted t-shirt or finally showing up to the beach in a two piece, there should be nothing wrong with leaning into the positive aspects of your physicality.

Because doing so is an expression of one of the actual greatest things the gym delivers (outside of a prominent biceps vein). And that is confidence.

When you take control of your training your confidence in your looks might improve. And while I’ve been taking a mostly tongue-in-cheek view on that so far in this blog, it’s actually not a small thing.

Studies show that while most things that people think will make them happier do not (like a larger salary or a boat) physical self improvement actually does lead to long term improvements in happiness and personal satisfaction.

But the increase in confidence is not limited to how we look in booty shorts.

An increase in confidence of your physical capabilities, such as how far you can run or how strong you become will also bleed into how you carry and feel about yourself.

Consistent training can deeply affect your value system. People who take care of their health and physical well-being are not only desirable to strangers who might admire their glowing skin or giant delts, they are upholding a covenant they have made with themselves to protect and nurture the very vessel that allows them to interact with the world.

Let me restate that without the weird, biblical-seeming terms here: taking care of your body shows you that you value yourself. And that is a message you want to send yourself as often as possible. Your daily actions are a constant reminder of what you believe you are worth.

Last week on the subway, as I waited for the door to open at my stop, I noticed someone touch the back of my arm.

“Probably just an accident,” I silently thought.

But ten seconds later it happened again.

“Who could be so forward as to just grab my arm on the subway…twice?!?!”

I was really feeling myself as we pulled into the stop. I took two steps out of the car before looking back to see who this bold stranger might be.

Turns out, it was a blind woman and the grabbing of my arm probably had a lot more to do with her orienting herself and keeping her balance and a lot less to do with the irresistible prominence of my triceps.

Which brings me back to my point (and, hopefully, deflates my ego a bit). There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the visual improvements that training brings. But there’s so much more to it than that.

It keeps you healthy, improves your capability, sky rockets your confidence and consistently reminds us of our values and self-worth. And, in the appropriate situation, both metaphorically and literally help you support the people around you.

Unless you are a guitar nerd, these are names that you probably should not recognize.

But all three of them are prodigies. Math rock savants. Technically perfect players who play with such amazing speed and precision you could barely fathom as possible on the instrument.

Yet, as I mentioned, very few have heard their names and even less have bought their albums or appreciated their skill.

Now, if I say Jimi Hendrix or Eddie Van Halen or Stevie Ray Vaugh, even if you aren’t a boomer or Gen X’er similar to me, you probably know these guys. You can picture in your mind a psychedelically dressed Hendrix lighting his guitar on fire. You’ve probably maxed out your bench press to Van Halen’s solo in “Panama” more than once over the years.

The funny thing about these guys is that their talent is seen as less like a product of study and more like a gift from God. Sure, they picked up the instrument young and practiced plenty, but they are viewed more like “chosen ones” where the music just effortlessly pours through them.

The first three guys, they are perceived in a different way. With them, none of what they do is based on soul or feel or artistic expression. They simply have the ability to repetitively put the right notes in the right place as if they were computers devoid of feelings.

And the truth is, neither are true.

Stevie Ray Vaughn may not know how to read music but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t completely understand progressions and intervals and possess an ability to speak the language of music with other musicians.

And while Tim Henson plays very complex chord voicings at the speed of light, it doesn’t mean he’s a soleless robot just going through the motions. The guy has a throat tattoo for Christ’s sake.

My point is, the most successful musicians, in their own way, are a marriage of the two. Great technique and understanding, incredible feel and passion for what they do.

A similar dichotomy arises in strength training as well.

There, for sure, is the technical side.

How your program is organized, the bar path on your power clean, your coordination on the Row Erg, even how you load plates on the bar are very important considerations when it comes to both your success and your safety in the gym.

The other side is less about passion (sure, that helps) but more about capability. Developing at least a minimum level of force, strength, cardiovascular output and, more qualitatively, grit to be able to yield real benefits from training at all.

To paraphrase my colleague Dr. Pat Davidson, you have to be strong enough to even train in the first place.

So how do we rectify these two things? How do we get to a place where we prioritize technique for our long-term benefit and safety while not micromanaging our movements before we are even at the level that they would have impact?

As with most things, the answer exists on a continuum.

If you are brand new to the gym or have been training but typically spend your time in a Pilates class or on the cardio floor and are looking to do more strength training, step one has nothing to do with either technique or capability, it’s all about consistency.

When you are new to the weights, just showing up 2-3 times per week is the goal. Don’t overly concern yourself with what you are doing. Don’t obsess over hurting yourself. The risk of not showing up in the early stages is much greater than the risk of getting injured.

So, if you have to, just walk around the gym floor, pet a couple of the machines, make a friend or two and don’t worry too much about the structure or the output.

Once you’ve gotten into the routine of attendance, your next move is to find a very simple program with low skill exercises that you can perform. Don’t worry about tracking your weights, don’t worry about progression, don’t even concern yourself too much with technique. If you (or someone else) is picking out the right exercises for you at this point, there shouldn’t even be the need to concern yourself with such things.

Now, as you’ve gotten past the first few weeks or months of training, you are going to want to incorporate both concepts simultaneously.

You are going to want to track what it is you are doing and make things slightly (SLIGHTLY) more difficult over time by adding weights or reps. That “progressive overload” you keep hearing about that is essential for making progress in the gym? That’s all that means. Making things slowly (SLOWLY) more challenging over time.

Also, as your training plan becomes more robust (you are adding resistance, perhaps utilizing more compound movements) you are going to want to pay attention to your technique and form as well.

Why?

Two reasons. The first is that optimizing for technique will maximize the result. You are already in the habit of going to the gym so it would suit you to start the process of doing things really well. Secondly, your body doesn’t know good from bad, it just knows what it knows. So if you teach it poor technique for long enough, it will default to that technique every time and you will have to spend a long time unlearning bad habits.

In other words, every bad rep you perform takes you further away from doing a good rep.

Back to capability. Your two best friends here are going to be a program that makes sense for you and tracking your output. You can hire a coach to create a program for you or you can find a program online (this does require a bit of knowing what you are looking for). There are also no shortage of workout trackers out there and even a good old pencil and notebook are fantastic for keeping tabs on your weights, reps and sets.

When it comes to managing technique I’ve only been able to come up with three options. The first is that you can watch videos online of exercise performance with good technique and try to mimic that. The second is to find one of those friends that you made when you stepped onto the gym floor in your first weeks and recruit them as your training partner. The last is to hire a coach to watch your lifts and give you feedback.

The risk with the first two is you have no idea how good the feedback will be. This is one of the many paradoxes of training. By the time you figure out if your program or trainer are any good, you're probably experienced enough to figure a lot of this out on your own.

Unfortunately, all trainers are not created equal, either. So just throwing money at the problem is not a guarantee of a solution. Get some recommendations and do your research. It does matter.

The goals of your early training days are to build consistency, develop enough capability that the training will be impactful and hone your technique so you get the most out of your training and establish habits that will serve you well for the rest of your training career.

Great lifters, like great musicians, don't choose between technique and capability. They develop both until the distinction disappears.

Nail that and you’ll be performing a perfectly executed back squat with a barbell that is one fire in no time.

And isn’t that what we all really want from training, anyway?

There’s Kobe “Black Mamba” Bryant. George “The Iceman” Gervin. Allen “The Answer” Iverson.

Magic Johnson’s nickname is so good that most people don’t know that his actual first name is Earvin.

But my favorite of them all goes to Jason “White Chocolate” Williams.

Williams managed a middle-of-the-road 12 seasons in the league as a point guard. He was mostly known for his incredibly flashy dribbling, eyes-in-the-back-of-his-head passes and, as his nickname might imply, having a playing style typically associated with black players even though he, himself, is white.

Williams played his college ball originally at Marshall but when his head coach, Billy Donovan, took a job at the University of Florida, Williams transferred to that school.

Admittedly, Williams didn’t care much about academics. He’d routinely miss classes and skip scheduled sessions with his tutors, threatening his eligibility. The problem got so bad that Donovan threatened Williams.

“For every class, tutor or study session you miss, you are going to have to get up the next morning at 6AM and run miles,” Donovan told Williams.

And for the next week, every day, Williams missed his academic obligations, got up at 6AM and started running.

When confronted about this by Donovan, Williams replied, “Coach, how about we just cancel all these classes and I’ll just run in the morning.”

This is a beautiful example of consequences not being sufficient to prevent specific actions.

And this is something I see in fitness all the time.

You have a desire. You want to get stronger. Increase your odds at longevity. Complete a marathon. Feel confident taking your shirt off at the waterpark. Finally get a six pack.

But the consequences of not showing up just aren’t that severe.

Unless you’ve had a heart attack or are on the verge of losing your scholarship or you are about to fail your fitness test that gets you into the police academy, choosing to go to the gym after a long day or when it’s raining outside or you just don’t feel like it feels like an easy decision.

“How much can this one workout really matter,” you ask yourself.

The truth is, any one workout, in isolation, is meaningless.

But let’s be honest with each other here. None of this is in isolation. The one workout is an indication of typical behavior. It’s a momentum killer. It’s another version of “I’ll start on Monday” or “I’ll wait until the New Year” or “Let me take it easy for the Summer”.

And it’s not that periods of less training aren’t applicable or even beneficial. But those are earned after years and years of training.

On my favorite place on the internet, Reddit, there are countless threads of young men who, after a robust 4 months of training with moderate consistency, are at the end of their ropes because they haven’t achieved the body of their dreams after such a soul-draining sustained effort.

But we all know the body of your dreams isn’t built in one consistent quarter. It’s years of dedicated and thoughtful effort.

Perhaps the consequences of missing any one training session aren’t that impactful but if this is your pattern you are robbing yourself of the actual benefits of training. Instead you are in an endless loop of starting over, feeling like a beginner and being at the furthest point from realizing your goals which, we already established, is a long road even when you are doing everything right.

OK, I’ve beaten this to death more than Joe Pesci beats an NPC in a Scorsese movie. Let’s just accept that you need to recognize the consequences of your actions in order to have a reasonable expectation of what you’ll actually get out of training.

“That’s nice, Dan,” you mutter to yourself softly as you stare at your bottles of untaken supplements and barely-used keychain barcode tag that gives you access to the gym you signed up for seven months ago. “What do I do about it?”

Ah, now you are asking the right questions. Let me try to provide some remarkably simple and obvious answers that will not only make you question why you are reading this in the first place but also actually provide solutions so you don’t face the consequences of not going to the gym.

Pay more

Most people shop for gyms or nutrition coaches or running groups based primarily on one factor: price.

Specifically, which one is moderately decent enough for me to tolerate and costs me the least.

And that seems to make a lot of sense. Truth be told, I could get a great workout at a $20 per month Planet Fitness-type facility.

But if you have repeatedly joined inexpensive gyms and stopped going, the low price may actually be part of the problem. Even the Scrooge McDucks among us don’t feel bad about pissing away $20 per month.

So try doing the opposite. Sign up for a gym that is a bit beyond what you are comfortable spending.

If you are used to the $20 bargain, try an $80 per month mid-tier gym. If that’s your current level, try a $300 per month premium facility. You can, of course, progress this to group fitness classes, semi-private training all the way up to a personal trainer who will charge you hundreds of dollars per session whether you show up to the session or not.

The point is, making the price high enough that it would be painful if you didn’t go is, logically enough, a great method to get you to go.

And before you think this is all just self-serving advice, a recent industry study found that people were eleven times (11 times!!) more likely to attend a group, semi-private or personal training session than they were to go to the gym on their own.

Find a crew

Training around other people of your choosing will do three things.

The first is it will make the training more impactful. Everyone trains harder when others are suffering and struggling alongside them. This is human nature.

The second is it will make you more likely to go because you will feel worse about letting others down than letting yourself down. Which, perversely enough, is also human nature.

The last is that it will make training more fun.

Listen, I get it. The gym is your “me” time. And you just want to put on your over-priced over-the-ear headphones and crank early 80s Madonna while you do some terrible lat pulldowns.

You know what else is your “me” time? Sitting on the couch eating half a family size pack of Jelly Bellies while your favorite gym leggings are laid out on your bed and you decide you’ll start working out again tomorrow.

So find a squad, build in some accountability, and get to work.

Get on a program

The gym is crowded (because you didn’t spend enough on your membership) and even though you know you’re supposed to train legs at some point during the week, why not just sneak in your third day of bench press and bicep curls instead of waiting for a squat rack and call it a day?

Most people don’t follow a program because 1) they don’t understand the basic principles of exercise science, so they don’t know how to put one together for their goals or 2) they like the exercises they like and know so they default to those or 3) they didn’t even realize their training was supposed to have any structure.

Let’s face facts. Strength training is not the most complicated thing in the world but it is a science (which is why, coincidentally, it is called exercise science). There are foundational principles that will help you make progress, keep you injury free and use your time efficiently.

The problem isn’t that you don’t know how to program. The problem is that you think (particularly if you are a guy) that you should somehow intuitively understand programming like it is your birthright. “I’ve been lifting weights since I’m 16, of course I know what I’m doing” is probably what you are yelling at your screen right now as you read this.

But, be honest here. How have your partial-range-of-motion-leg-presses and every-Monday-three-sets-of-ten-bench-press been contributing to your results? Probably not much since you adapted to them decades ago.

A program has to systematically progress while also addressing your desired outcomes. Plus, following one will actually make training much more engaging and fun while also making it more effective.

A program also gives each session a job. When every workout is improvised, skipping one feels meaningless because there was never any larger plan to disrupt. But when Tuesday’s squat session builds into Friday’s work and this week builds into next week, missing becomes more tangible. You are not just skipping exercise. You are breaking the chain.

So find one. Or, even better, seek out a coach to design a specific one for you. But don’t just wing it.

Seemingly I’m asking you to sacrifice your wallet (by paying more for a gym), your autonomy (by committing to a training group) and your freedom (by having you follow a program). Which have probably earned me the nickname of “Buzzkill” or “The Bummer” (man, I really wish my name started with a “B” so these would be cool alliterations).

The funny thing is that these restrictions are actually what create freedom. You stop debating whether to train, wondering what to do, and hoping motivation arrives. The decision has already been made. You paid, your people are waiting, and the program tells you what comes next.

And I think that sounds a lot better than sitting on the couch wondering why you can’t get yourself to go.

This was advice that we got from our second-ever business coach, Alex Hormozi.

Alex wasn’t a big deal back then like he is now.If we ran into Alex on the street now he would deny knowing us, just like Otis Day denied knowing the white frat guys when they walked into an all black night club and yelled out his name in the classic movie Animal House.

Alex may have not been a superstar at the time but he was already brilliant. And this was good advice.

Information, particularly since a little thing called the internet has been around and, more recently, a barely-even-talked-about invention called AI has hit the scene, is easier for people to find than ever.

But, in spite of the advice given to us by our mentor, I am going to deliver a small bit of information and a whole lot of implementation in the next few paragraphs - right here, for free - because I love you and I want you to win.

What we’ll be discussing today is nutrition for body composition improvement. I’m first going to give you the two pieces of information you need and, then, some strategies that you can use that will put this information to work for you so you can maintain good health, develop the physique of your dreams, attract a partner with the looks of Brad Pitt and has the sweet disposition of Dolly Parton and have you driving around in a debt-free Lambo in no time.

Ok, the two pieces of information first.

These two factors are absolutely, without question the most important data points when it comes to your nutrition for body composition outcomes.

The first is good old calories.

For years, particularly in the 80s, we moved away from the importance of calories and made dietary fats the villain of the NCU (Nutrition Character Universe).

Then we thought we got smarter in the 90s and said, “No, no! Fats are fine” and carbs became the Dr. Doom of the decade.

But, truth be told, total caloric intake, as pedestrian as that seems, is going to play the most important role. It’s above macronutrients. It’s above food quality. It’s above food choice.

(Remember, we are talking about body composition here. Not health, developing good habits or the other WAY more important - yet related - roles that nutrition play in your life)

OK, here are your oversimplified formulas to determine your daily caloric intake. I was in remedial math in high school and I can figure this out, so you can, too.

Start with your goal weight. If your goal weight represents more than 50lbs of weight loss, cut it in half and start there and adjust over time.

Weight Loss: Goal Weight x 11-13

If weight loss is your focus, take your goal weight and multiply it by 11, 12 or 13 to get your target number of average calories for the day. Eleven would be the most aggressive choice that will drive results fastest but also likely make you the most cranky. If you need to lose weight but you still have performance goals (say, you are running 40 miles per week preparing for a half marathon but a little extra weight loss would help your goals) go on the higher side and multiply by 13.

Body Recomp: Goal Weight x 14-15

If you want to body recomp - essentially you are happy with your bodyweight but started engaging in strength training and want to substitute fat for muscle, multiply goal weight by 14 or 15 to get your total average daily calories.

Muscle Gain: Goal Weight x 16-17

If you want to put on muscle and are engaging in a well organized and consistent program, multiply the goal number by 16 or 17. Keep in mind, at these numbers the goal is to add body weight in the form of muscle mass, not lose weight.

OK, on to number two, total protein.

Take your goal weight and aim for that number in grams of protein per day. If you want to be 180lbs, get in 180 grams of protein per day.

Are there other things we can look at? Yes! Carb intake, fat intake, food choices, food timing, workout nutrition - these are all worthy topics that should be considered. But I promised you two and who am I to break my promise to you.

On to the fun part. The implementation. Knowing what you need to do is the easy part. Getting it done, that’s the stuff that brownie sundae-filled dreams are made of.

Most people don't fail because they don't know what calories or protein are. They fail because they can't consistently execute those targets. These four strategies are the ones I've found most useful over two decades of coaching.

The App Hack

This one is a must for everyone. Find a great tracking app (My Fitness Pal is the most popular one, LifeSum is the one Kyle has used for years, Christabelle just started on a new one the name of which escapes me, or you can start a dedicated chat in ChatGPT or the AI overlord of your choosing) and put everything you eat in there, without fail, every day, seemingly forever.

I’ve said this here before, according to research tracking food is the most impactful intervention when it comes to improving nutrition outcomes. You could do nothing else but log your food and you will see things get better.

The Steve Jobs Approach

Super successful icons such as Steve Jobs and Einstein famously wore the same things every day. The argument is, it eliminates decision fatigue. For all I know, Jobs wore a black turtleneck and Dad jeans one day in 11th grade and his high school crush off-handedly said he looked nice and he decided this was going to be his look from now on.

Yes, plenty of men would absolutely act this way.

Whatever the rationale, the “same thing every day” is actually a great nutritional strategy. Because once you know your calories and protein, you’ve designed a full day of meals that hits those numbers, it becomes easy to hit your targets very consistently. And you don’t have to think about it much which is nice for an automaton like myself.

I’m using a slight variation of the Jobs right now and it’s working really well for me. My breakfast, lunch and snacks are all the same everyday and I have about 3 different things I rotate through for dinner for a bit of variety. But they all line up with my goals.

The Daily Flux

This strategy works very well for people who are diligent about their tracking and are also prioritizing training, whether for a running event, a HYROX-style competition or just typical gym muscle-building type workouts.

Or if you are someone who occasionally but regularly needs to alter the plan due to social obligations or a psychological break.

Rather than look at your calories and protein on a daily basis, take a weekly view. On days you have hard training sessions (or going out to dinner with your college buddies), bump up your cals and protein by 10-20% and on non-training days make up the difference by reducing your intake.

You're not eating more calories each week, you're redistributing them.

This is outside the scope of what we discussed here, but for most people doing this it would actually make more sense to keep protein steady each day and get the daily calorie fluctuation from carbohydrates which is something you may have heard of called “Carb Cycling”.

Fort Knox

When I was a kid, Fort Knox, where they keep much of the US gold reserve, became synonymous for a super-secure place where you stockpiled precious resources.

Today I have no idea if people know Fort Knox from Johnny Knoxville but I’m sticking with the analogy.

Nutrient timing (when you consume your food and which foods you consume at those times) certainly has value. For example, eating more carbohydrates prior to and after your training sessions is very advantageous.

But when you are managing your calories - particularly in a cut - I find it psychologically advantageous to have a reserve of calories at the end of the day so I know that there is always another feeding opportunity in my future.

For me it’s typically something relatively low calorie (a protein shake, serving of cottage cheese or a couple of rice cakes are my go-to’s) but knowing that I didn’t eat my last meal while still having to do the dishes, get the kid ready for bed, solve the Wordle with my wife, walk the dog and all the other evening activities is soothing for me.

The same might be true for you.

I know we all want success to be as painless as possible. And, to be fair, any and all of these techniques and strategies come with some level of sacrifice. Whether it’s taking time away from something else to track what you’ve eaten, fighting off a craving when it has snuck into your brain or even eating five more bites of chicken breast when you are already full.

But, the opposite is also true. Eating for your goals can be quite simple and fit into your life quite easily if you know what you are doing and you have strategies. And, perhaps most importantly, you resist becoming overly emotional about all of it. Which, again, I acknowledge is probably the most difficult part.

Information isn't the hard part anymore. You already know more about nutrition than most people did twenty years ago.

The hard part is building a system you can follow on Tuesday when work runs late, you're tired, and someone puts a box of donuts in the break room.

That's where results come from. It’s not from knowing what to do, but from making it easier to actually do it.

And, no, it’s not because I love clickbait-y blog post titles (although, believe me, the powers that be wished I was using more clickbait-y blog post titles instead of vague references to obscure Bob Dylan songs).

Nor is it because I think most fitness information is a lie (although, perhaps, I do feel that way). Or that I am an opinion waffler.

No, the reason that I keep going back to the well on fitness deceit is because it’s a moving target.

One week everyone is talking about how drinking celery juice is the key to losing weight (it is not) and the next they are claiming that squats won’t improve run performance (it will).

This isn’t limited to social media influencers or conversations overheard in the back of a Lululemon. I’ve heard dyed-in-the-wool fitness bros debating whether or not testosterone influences muscle growth based on a poorly designed study released 15 years ago (it most certainly does) and, if performance enhancing drugs replace the need to work out at all (they do not).

The fitness misinformation that is currently grinding my gears is actually not something trendy but gets parroted so often that I can no longer ignore it.

And that is the concept of time.

Not how long your strength training sessions should be (although research shows about 48 minutes is optimal), not how much time under tension is maximal for muscle growth (there does not seem to be an upper limit) or even what time of day you should work out (two schools of thought here: either 3 or 11 hours after waking up or after you’ve had at least two full meals).

No. The “time” that I am referring to here is certain people questioning why so many people claim they have no time to train. Then they cite things like “if you didn’t binge watch your favorite television shows” or “if you spent less time doom scrolling Tik Tok” that you would have plenty of hours to train.

And that may be true for some people. I train very often and watch very little TV and wouldn’t even know where to start on Tik Tok.

But, honestly, I don’t think that is what holds most regular adults back.

Most adults have full time jobs, have to walk the dog, get their kids ready for school, make dinner, do laundry, pay their bills, wait for the handyman to come by so they can figure out whatever the hell is happening behind the refrigerator, walk the dog again, make sure the kids brush their teeth before bed and about a thousand seemingly other “nothings” that add up to a whole lot of time.

With these people - who, again, I’d argue are most of us - they aren’t suffering from an abundance of recreational opportunities distracting them from prioritizing the gym. They are struggling with a dynamic and responsibility filled existence that doesn’t create ample time for certain personal priorities.

OK, before I digress into the whole Robin Williams “it’s not your fault” speech from Good Will Hunting, let’s get to the actual issues that are holding you back from getting to the gym regularly (or at all) and let’s solve those. Because, as we’ll discuss later, you have to solve them.

In my experience, people who struggle to train consistently usually have one of two problems. Either they dramatically overestimate how much time fitness requires, or they feel guilty spending any time on themselves at all.

So, just how much time do you need for training to be effective?

Most people think to make improvements in your fitness you need a dedicated mobility routine, 6 days per week of body part split training, three days of cardio, a membership to a stretching place for recovery and a 20 minute drive to a health food store for an organic colostrum-filled protein shake.

And while it is true that you would need to dedicate a lot of time to training if you were looking to earn a collegiate sports scholarship or properly prepare for a bodybuilding show or to land on the podium at Hyrox, most people who simply want to train for health, longevity and reasonable strength and body composition improvements can make measurable progress with two 40 minute strength training sessions per week.

This is not only my opinion or observation. Research backs up the notion that strength and body composition will improve with this exact protocol.

So if that is all the time you can muster, it’s still worth going.

The second issue is a psychological one. Many of us, particularly if we are parents or business leaders or caretakers of any sort, are taught, trained and believe that our entire lives must be in service to others.

And that is a lovely thought. I wish more people approached life from this perspective. We’d certainly be much kinder to each other.

Of course as a parent you are going to often prioritize your child’s needs above your own. As an entrepreneur you are going to self-sacrifice in order to take a phone call or make yourself available for an opportunity that might drive your business forward. As the child of elderly parents of course you are going to prepare meals and spend your Sundays at their home in order to make sure they have companionship and are cared for.

But the belief that your entire life should be one of sacrifice and that you are being selfish or causing harm by also carving out time to take care of yourself is not only false, it actually harms the entire mission.

Do you want your child to be a person who prioritizes her own health and wellbeing? Of course. But how do you think they learn that? By observing your behaviors and how you treat yourself.

Do you want to be a good partner to your significant other? Well, which sounds better - prioritizing a few hours in the gym so you can generate endorphins, optimize your hormonal health and spend productive time outside the home or feel like you are trapped in an endless cycle of chores and obligations that lead to unexpressed resentment?

Will falling out of good health yourself become a good strategy when you need to help you aging parents or a sick sibling or friend or do you want to feel fit and capable of rising to any occasion?

You've heard the metaphor at the start of every plane trip you’ve ever taken. In case of an emergency, put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others around you. But so many of us are scrambling to affix everyone else's mask that we end up dangerously running on fumes. And that works out well for exactly no one.

If this resonates at all with you, you are probably a kind and caring and wonderful person.

So let me be the one to save you if you won’t save yourself. Take care of your health, physical and mental wellbeing.

It’s the best way to show up not only for yourself, but everyone else around you.

The caretaker also needs some care.

“You don’t want to do it,” he said aggressively. A real contrast to his usual, relaxed Southern demeanor.

Of course he was right. I didn’t actually want to throw our communal, 19 inch living room television into the middle of Ackerman Avenue, the street where we and two other roommates were living during our junior year at Syracuse University. But it is what I threatened to do if our beloved Orangemen once again exited the NCAA March Madness tournament in the early rounds.

I used to have a much different relationship with sports.

Important Syracuse or Yankees or Jets games were all met with a combination of anticipation, anxiety, religious-like devotion and, most often, disappointment.

But no team got my time, attention and fandom quite as much as the New York Knicks.

As my Dad and I would tune into games I’d prowl around my childhood family room with my “lucky” wiffle ball bat in my hands while watching Patrick Ewing, John Starks and, my all time favorite player, Charles Oakley battle against the Pistons and the Bulls.

As I mentioned, my relationship to sports has changed over the years. Getting married, prioritizing my fitness, opening a business, having a child and not wanting to die of a heart attack every time Bill Laimbeer got away with a hard foul or Jordan hit another buzzer beater to send us packing, have all contributed to me watching less games and much less emotionally invested in games that, quite frankly, don’t impact my quality of life at all.

Sure, I’ll tune into some playoff games and the SuperBowl. My son and I pick a local team to follow during March Madness so we have an underdog to root for. And I’ll check in every once and a while to see where the Yankees are in the standings. But that’s about it. The emotional investment is gone and it’s all at an arms length.

So no one was as surprised as I was when, for a couple of months this Spring, I found myself excitedly rushing to the television after the family was in bed and the dog was walked to watch our New York Knicks battle it out in the playoffs.

It’s not like the Knicks haven’t been promising the last few seasons. They’ve made some deep playoff runs and have been entertaining to watch.

But there was just something about this year. They got hot at the right time, were sweeping other contenders and winning by double digits.

Which was great and fun and, ultimately, not the reason I blew up my bedtime each night cheering for another Knicks win.

It was because I was doing it with the entire City.

New York is in my blood. I’ve lived in or around it my entire life. I’ve worked in Manhattan for the last 30 years. You know how they say that you are the combination of the five people you spend the most time with? New York City is one of those people.

There are a lot of things in the City that aim to divide us. Political affiliations. The rich versus the poor. Which borough you represent. Even our sports teams. Are you Yankees or Mets? Jets or Giants?

But the Knicks, particularly this season’s Knicks, brought us all together.

For a few glorious months it seemed like everyone was wearing blue and orange. Organized and organic “watch parties” where hundreds or thousands of people would show up outside the Garden or in Central Park or on a random side street in Bed-Stuy where someone would project the game on the metal gate of a local shop that was closed for business for the day became joyous communes where our citizens came to cheer and celebrate and high five another Knicks win.

Yes, the Knicks ultimately won. And, yes, there were so many lovely player stories that made cheering them on even easier. Brunson’s relationship with his father. The fact that many of these players played together for a local college team. The architecture of how this team was put together in the first place.

But, much more than that, the big story was the City.

It’s simultaneously the most incredible, diverse, rich and robust place you can ever live while also being the most expensive, the most challenging, the most bureaucratic and the loneliest of all of America’s big cities. And to have a catalyst in the Knicks that unified us, regardless of whether you are from Queens or Staten Island, an immigrant, a transplant, a lifer, rich or struggling was the magic that we didn’t even know we all needed.

What struck me wasn't basketball. It was how hungry people were for a reason to gather. To stand shoulder-to-shoulder with strangers and feel like they belonged to something larger than themselves.

Every membership in our gym starts with a phone call. And I make many of those calls.

And of course we talk about goals and training and scheduling and costs. But it’s the potential members who mention how they are looking for a sense of community, to be around other like-minded individuals who enjoy training or take their fitness and health seriously, those are the ones who I know are going to be an absolute home run for the gym.

When Kyle and I started the gym it wasn’t because we had some new, grandiose ideas about training or even because we wanted to be big shot business men. It was truly because we loved training and knew that it was always better when you did it with the right people.

So we’ve set out to find the right people.

In our little part of the big City, that is our magic.

We thought we were opening a gym.

What we were really building was a place for people to find their team.

This was my grandfather’s greeting whenever he walked into any room.

It makes sense. When you are in your late 90s, anyone else in the room is likely to be comparatively young.

But this was not a “comparison is the thief of joy” situation. I think my grandfather was actually happy to be in rooms filled with younger people. At a certain age you are probably happy to be able to walk into any rooms at all.

About a week prior to my own birthday (my 54th if you are keeping track), I competed in Hyrox.

(Hyrox has become so popular that I don’t feel the need to explain it. But, just in case, it’s a fitness race that combines running and functional fitness exercises that takes most people between one and two hours to complete.)

And while mid-50s is not exactly the same as late 90s, I’ve become increasingly aware that I am not exactly going to be one of the younger people in the room when it comes to the gym or fitness competitions or whatever.

And that’s fine. Growing older is a gift. In fact the true paradox of humans is that everyone wants to live a long life yet no one wants to grow old.

OK, so I’ve accepted that I can’t stop the clock. What I haven’t accepted is that I can’t still kick ass at this age.

This is my fourth year doing Hyrox. And every previous race I went into it happy to compete and be part of our community of people also participating and satisfied with finishing.

This year, I wanted to treat it differently.

So this time I dialed in both my nutrition and my training, particularly my running, for about three months leading into the comp.

I bought new running shoes. I upped my mileage. I nailed my protein targets. I tracked my calories.

Every day. Without exception.

Now, many long time readers of the blog know that I am contractually obligated to post my before and after pics here every 10 months or so.

(For those of you who are new here, I used to be a chubby guy and in my late 20s, inspired by my upcoming wedding, I lost about 60lbs in 5 months which started my commitment to fitness for the past 25 years)

But, to be honest, those pictures were starting to get a bit irrelevant. I mean the “afters” were taken 14 years ago now.

So part of my motivation for getting in great shape for Hyrox was not only to score a PR time, but also to secure a new set of photos taken by the professional photographers they have on the course.

Without further ado, here is a highly curated selection.

Pretty crazy, right?!?

I posted these photos on Instagram and got a lot of lovely and positive responses. I also got a few DMs (no, not those types of DMs) asking me how the hell I could accomplish these kinds of results at this age.

And I thought my answers would actually make good fodder for a blog post (listen, when you bang these out every week without fail for years, you’ve gotta keep your eyes peeled for ideas).

So here are some truths (and they may seem like harsh truths) about what it takes to get into (I’m searching for a word here and the only one that comes to mind is “elite” which isn’t quite right but I’m going to use it) elite shape.

The first truth you have to swallow is that I have been strength training between three and seven times per week, every week, for decades.

All the muscle you see in these photos was not built in the three months that I decided to take my Hyrox training more seriously. Nope. This base has been built over decades of reps and sets and progressive overload and following the program.

Fat loss is a pretty fast process. In fact, when you go beyond just general weight loss (which, let’s say, is when you need to drop more than 10% of your body weight) and are looking to use fat loss as more of body recomposition, you should be able to get to where you want to go in about 12 focused weeks.

(If you are 50 or 100 or 100s of pounds overweight, the process will and should take much longer)

However when it comes to building muscle (unless you are brand new or going through puberty) the process is muuuuuuuuuch longer. This is why people cannot crash diet their way into impressive physiques. You just aren’t going to be able to shortcut the number of sessions and reps and years it takes.

Harsh truth #2: at this level, there is very little wiggle room. For the 10 weeks or so that I spent in a caloric deficit I didn’t have a cheat meal. I accounted for and tracked all my food. I ate the same things every day. I didn’t wing it. I didn’t have “just one bite” of anything.

I stuck with my plan and executed it as perfectly as I could every day.

Now, this isn’t necessary for everyone or every phase. You can certainly make progress with a more moderate approach. Particularly if you don’t have a time frame or you aren’t looking for very low body fat percentages.

I also applied this same level of compliance to my running training. I don’t love running. I’d never run beyond 5.5 miles before. But three times per week, every week, I did the three running sessions (recovery run, intervals, long run) that were assigned to me. I built up my distance to runs of 7.5 miles. I dropped my paces by minutes. I just very systematically, and without fail, did what I was told.

Which leads me directly into the next harsh truth, do what your coaches tell you.

I’m very smart when it comes to most aspects of training and nutrition. And, still, I received advice on programming from our running coach Jess. I shared my blood work with our dietician, Jennie. I got nutrition advice from coach (and human anatomy chart) Hollis. I followed the Fort strength program that either Kyle or I wrote. I kept the paces that Cody asked for at my Hybrid Athlete training sessions.

Many, many people are resistant to following the program. They find it restrictive.

“What do you mean that I can’t have my Friday night pizza?”

“What do you mean that I shouldn’t bench press five times per week?”

And I get it. We like what we like and don’t want to be denied those things. But next level outcomes require next level dedication. At least for a finite amount of time.

But more importantly, surrendering to the program is actually very freeing. You don’t have to think or second guess or wonder. You just trust what is on the page and execute.

I’m not saying there aren’t challenges. You may have to alter your social engagements or have awkward conversations about why you aren’t having your usual 17 gin and tonics during happy hour.

And if you want to give into that, sure. That’s your choice. Just don’t expect the results you’re aspiring to without the requisite effort.

Final harsh truth (and there are more but I don’t want to lose you): genetics certainly play a role, but not as much as you think.

I can walk by a dumbbell rack and seemingly gain muscle. I’ve taken seminars with people who’ve squatted 405 the first time they ever tried squatting back in junior high school. We all have that coworker who has a six pack but seems to survive on swedish fish and the free morning donuts provided at the status meeting.

And I don’t want to discount those things. They are real. But I’ve also never seen anyone held back from accomplishing astonishing fitness outcomes by their genetics.

I will use myself as an example. No one in my family is like me. They don’t train. They don’t workout in the gym. They don’t look anything like I do. I have a brother and a sister who come from the same parents and they don’t have shoulders or biceps or compete in weightlifting or Hyrox or whatever.

(The only exception to this is my brother-in-law Matt who has dedicated himself to running for a few years now. It’s helped him lose about 50 pounds and he is preparing for his first marathon in the Fall. Matt is like a brother to me but not a blood relative. So this is a bit irrelevant when it comes to genetics but I’m so proud of him that I wanted to shout him out!)

Now, they certainly could. And if they did, I’m convinced they’d get good results. But I could say that of almost anyone. People are limited by their desires, their habits and their dedication to the outcomes in the long term, not by their bloodline.

In the absence of a disability or a disease, you are capable of much more than you are blaming on genetic limitations.

The last harsh truth I save for myself. And that is the reality that one day I'll be the oldest guy in the room.

But my hope for myself is that I'll also be the oldest guy who can still deadlift, run a race, or climb a flight of stairs without thinking about it.

So, until then, I'm going to keep setting myself up for the best outcomes and see what I'm capable of.

I hope you do the same.

I gotta be honest, I haven’t.

Not sure how I’ve managed to miss it. It had plenty of seasons and I’m sure I channel surfed by but never stopped to watch.

In any case, I think it’s about Chris Rock which makes it hard to believe that everybody hated him. His stand up specials are legendary. But I guess I could be wrong.

What I have seen is “Everybody Loves Raymond” and I can tell you with certainty that everybody does not love Raymond.

I’m not even sure Raymond loves Raymond but that is really for him and his therapist to work out.

Truth is, it’s hard to argue that “everybody” should feel, act, look, want or be attracted to any specific thing.

Which brings me to the flawed title of this very blog post.

Because there aren’t two types of training that everybody should be doing. However, in my experience, if your goal is to blend strength, health, performance and body composition, I have found that these two types of training most efficiently, effectively and directly yield those outcomes.

They are also fun, engaging, progressive and scratch a variety of training itches.

So let’s break down these two training styles that I’m recommending and maybe one or perhaps (gasp!) both of them will be right for you.

The first is called Power Building. Which is a fun but slightly confusing name as it doesn’t have a ton to do with power. The “power” in Power Building is actually borrowed from the sport of “power lifting” which also has very little to do with power but that’s a discussion for another day.

Power Building is simply a combination of strength training using compound lifts (such as squats, deadlifts, pull ups and the like) in comparatively lower rep ranges with heavier weights and accessory or auxiliary movements that tend to lean more towards higher volume and/or isolation movements (lateral raises, incline dumbbell presses, biceps curls, as examples) to give you a very well rounded and varied exposure to strength and muscle building stimuli.

These can be organized in days that focus on specific muscle groups. Deadlifts plus single arm rows and straight arm pulldowns, for example, could be the foundation of a very solid back-focused day.

You could organize it by movement patterns where all the exercises have a pushing component or a pulling component. A “push” day might include squats (lower body push), flat dumbbell bench (upper body push), triceps pressdowns and calf raises (isolation push).

Finally, you can go for a total body approach which trains multiple muscle groups and various planes of motion which is a bit more comprehensive and, I think, is the best solution for people who train with lower frequencies, like two or three times per week.

The true unifying aspect of all of these Power Building approaches is the combination of multi-joint, compound exercises (typically done with a barbell, but not exclusively) usually done at higher intensities and low to mid rep ranges combined less demanding movements done at higher volumes. The combination of the two is what is going to set you up for an increased level of strength as well more muscle mass, improved hormonal health and an increase in bone density.

The second training type is actually a bit tough to name and even tougher to accurately define but I’ll go ahead and call it Hybrid Athlete Training.

Loosely, Hybrid Athlete Training, combines aspects of traditional strength training along with other modalities that may also contribute to strength as well as conditioning or endurance.

Again, this category is very broad but if you picture training for Hyrox, using traditional and modified strongman training implements such as sleds, kegs, sandbags and stones, a CrossFit class that starts with strength or power work and ends with a met-con, you are on the path to understanding the basics of Hybrid.

To put it another way, Hybrid combines gaining strength with building work capacity using exercises that often require some form of locomotion. This could be pushing a sled, or running sprints or carrying a loaded object for distance.

Finally, Hybrid can also be defined by combining both strength and conditioning or endurance activities but in separate workouts of the same training block. If you Power Build on Mondays, do a Hyrox class on Tuesdays and perform 1k running intervals on Wednesdays, congratulations, you are training Hybrid.

Hybrid has very specific advantages in that it will make you incredibly well rounded. You’ll become someone who feels comfortable banging out sets of back squats or going for a 5 mile run with the guy you just met on Hinge. It’s also excellent for general health and body composition outcomes, pretty decent for performance (unless you are training for a very specific event) and, I would argue, most closely delivers the combination of results that people hope for when engaging in a meaningful training program.

In addition to the positive fitness outcomes for both Power Building and Hybrid, there are other benefits worth noting. The first is that the workouts lend themselves to being easily progressed. Weights can get heavier. Reps can increase. Speeds can get faster. More distance can be covered.

Progression is the key to good outcomes. You want things that you can measure.

These workouts are also highly adaptable and varied. I was just in a hotel gym and pulled off both of these styles of training with light dumbbells, a couple of machines, a cable crossover and a treadmill.

And, while you don’t want your training to be chaotic, there is room within the structure to keep things interesting which will keep you interested.

They also really allow your training to be well-rounded while not having to spend your entire life in the gym.. Spending just three hours per week in either one of these styles can yield results that would require double the amount of time if you were using typical bodybuilding splits or going to many large group fitness classes.

Lastly, they are fun. Whether you get a rush out of hitting a heavy deadlift triple, love the low skill requirement of pushing a sled or just feel great after running a few miles, there is a bit of something to appeal to everyone that can be found in Power Building and particularly in Hybrid.

Swinging this back full circle, no training style is correct for everyone. If the only way you will get up off the couch is if there is a Zumba class on the other end of your drive or you are trying to qualify for the Boston Marathon, these are probably not the right modalities for you.

But if you are looking to improve general fitness qualities in an efficient and effective way, you will really benefit from these two approaches.

And apologies again for the title. But I gotta do what I gotta do to get you to read these things. There’s a reason they didn’t call it “Many People Might Like Raymond”.

(No one has ever called me one of those things, by the way)

No, Kyle actually came up with that. Which we still use and I still love.

But even lesser known fact is that that was not the original line. No.

“Raise Your Standard” was the original line which Kyle also came up with.

Now, I’m not sure if it’s a matter of great minds thinking alike or if he was inspired by Tony Robbins, but Tony has famously claimed that “raise your standards” are the three words that will change your life.

And I have to agree.

Maintaining a low or mediocre or even current standard all but guarantees a low, mediocre or same outcome that you are currently experiencing.

Want better relationships? Improve the things that you bring to the table (communication, honoring promises, dedicating time) and expect the same from others.

Want to improve your business? Raise your current level of engagement, thought, dedication and planning. Then support your co-workers in being able to do the same.

You may notice all of these recommendations start with you.

You cannot expect more out of others while you sit in the corner, fingers covered in Cheeto dust while you doom scroll Tik Tok for 7 hours per day.

You have to be willing to get in the ring yourself before others take you seriously.

I will use myself as an example.

Almost exactly a year ago, I took a look in the mirror and didn’t love what I was seeing.

Age, stress, lack of training focus were all getting the better of me. But rather than just accept this as a “regular sign of aging” or “just one of those things you can’t do anything about as a small business owner, Dad, husband, etc.” I decided to raise the standard for myself.

I went to the doctor, did some tests and found out my thyroid was about as sluggish as an old dog on a 90 degree day on a 2 hour walk. My cortisol levels were through the roof. My red blood cell count was so low that my blood was essentially pink.

So for the past year I’ve taken steps, like absolutely lock in my nutrition, to correct those things and it’s really worked.

I wanted to get involved with our gym community and do Hyrox again this year. And while I’ve enjoyed it I’ve always lamented that “I’m not a runner” so there is no way for me to do well. But this year I actually bought new running shoes (instead of using the same holey ones I’ve had for 10 years), followed a program, increased my mileage and, voila, my Hyrox time improved by 14 minutes over last year and I felt great doing it.

When my wife asks or needs me to do something, I try to be more responsive and complain less. When my son isn’t focused I’ve made an effort to be more patient and less frustrated.

When certain opportunities have been presented to me - for example, I am speaking at a big conference next week - I’ve thrown myself into the challenge rather than falling back into my more comfortable routines.

It’s not that I never get it wrong or mess up. Of course I do. But that doesn’t stop me from spending the moments, days and weeks after those slips, still trying to show up as the person I want to be and raise the standard for myself.

Once you do this, and do it for long enough, people will see it. And they will, either unconsciously or with some directive, raise their standard as well.

Turns out that this is actually a great gift you can give people. Because, sure, people will naturally default into whatever is easy and complain about what isn’t when they are surrounded by others who do the same. But, no one actually wants that for themselves.

And here’s an easy way to prove it: is this what you want for yourself?

Of course not. But keeping your standards low is an easy default. It requires less effort. It requires less tangible risk.

But the long term effects are devastating. Because if you keep your standards low you will, without question, wake up years down the road wondering why you are stuck with a broken body, in a shitty relationship and with the job you never really wanted.

This is a big and overwhelming ask, so I’m going to start with something relevant and pragmatic and, quite honestly, in my lane that can help get the ball rolling.

During your next workout, raise the standard for yourself. Focus on the technique that will help you get the most out of an exercise rather than rushing through it to get out of discomfort. Start your next set when the rest clock is over rather than taking that moment to check your phone or get water or whatever other distraction tactics you employ. Put in the extra effort your coach is asking for rather than having a fear of temporarily being out of breath.

Because that is the great thing about the gym. It is a controlled lab where you not only get to get in great shape, you get to do experiments on yourself that can then permeate the rest of your life.

Whether we like it or not, our standards become our future.

Every workout we rush through. Every difficult conversation we avoid. Every opportunity we talk ourselves out of. Every promise we make and fail to keep.

That's the direction we're headed.

So start small. During your next workout, raise the standard.

Then do it again tomorrow.

Listen, I’m going to keep raising my standard. And, in order to do that and maintain our relationship, I need to bring you along for the ride.

We’re going to mess up. We’re going to get it wrong more times than not. But if we keep pushing together we are going to end up in a better place.

I believe that is the best thing I can do for you.

And for me.

Wait. For non-New Yorkers, that last sentence isn’t going to make much sense. So let me explain.

“The Frying Pan” is an old tug boat they turned into a floating restaurant/bar docked in the Hudson River right off of the West Side Highway.

This was Memorial Day Weekend, 2009 and I had met up with some of my college buddies and our wives to catch up and kick off the holiday weekend.

Back to the message. It was one I had been waiting for weeks.

You see, and many of you already know this story so bear with me so I can catch the newbies up to speed, earlier that year I had left my 14 year advertising career in order to become a personal trainer.

Advertising was fine but my career up to that point could be described most accurately as “meh”. I was doing less than mediocre work and mediocre agencies and I just wasn’t really getting anywhere.

Plus I had fallen in love with fitness and I had probably watched to many 80’s after school specials that encouraged me to follow my dreams (while also avoiding PCP) that I decided it was time to make a change.

Sure, I was in my mid-30s, had a wife and a mortgage, but how hard could it be?

I started by training some friends. One of which was an hour drive away. The other wanted to train at 5:30AM in her building gym but didn’t get out of bed until about 8AM on roughly half the days we were scheduled to train.

Such is the life of independent personal training. You take the jobs where you can get them and clients have hired you not because of your passion or your program design but because they realize that they will never do this without someone forcing them to do it. And in the case of “5:30AM Rachel” that was still only about 50% of the time.

One thing I always regretted or, maybe better said, learned from my early advertising days was my sense of entitlement. I was a good person. I graduated from an accredited school. I would arrive mostly on time. Surely this meant that I should be gainfully employed post-haste and live in a fancy downtown loft that would even make the ladies from the show Friends blush.

But that is not what happened. And rather than taking an objective look at my circumstances and pursue growth and skills, I spent the first year after my college graduation depressed, playing hours of computer solitaire and wondering why I wasn’t gainfully employed.

I was not going to make this same mistake twice.

So rather than piece together a career based on early morning subway travel to apartment gyms where I’d wonder how long I’d have to wait for no-shows before I could leave, I decided to reach out to the best facility in NYC - Peak Performance - and ask them for not a job but for an opportunity.

I emailed the Director of Personal Training, a charismatic, jiu-jitsu enthusiast named Tim, and explained my situation. I told him I wasn’t asking for a job as I didn’t think I was qualified for one. I just wanted the ability to come in and learn. And, in exchange, I would work for free doing whatever they needed me to do. Work the front desk or mop up the gym floor or clean the bathrooms or whatever.

This wasn’t a ploy. I was very earnest in my offer. I would be more than happy to do menial tasks in order to be in an environment where I could legitimately learn from the best in the game.

I don’t know what compelled my to pull out my iPhone 2 right after the first sip of my cocktail on The Frying Pan (we didn’t obsessively check emails in those days) but up popped a message from Tim asking if I would come in and meet with the owner, Joe, the following week.

And to shorten up this story that is what led to me becoming an unpaid intern, staff trainer and ultimately Tim’s replacement when he decided to move to the west coast in my nearly 9 years at Peak.

For many people, myself included, there is nearly nothing scarier than change. To go from the known to the unknown. To go from reliable paycheck and co-workers you eat lunch with daily and 9:30AM status meetings to unpaid intern in a field where you don’t know what your doing around people who wonder who the fuck the new guy is.

But change is often the greatest thing you will ever experience in your life. Because whether it’s a new job or a new gym or a new relationship, when change works out (and, to be fair, it doesn’t always) it can deliver more than you ever thought possible.

And once you realize that stepping into the unknown won’t kill you, something interesting happens. You become more willing to embrace the next change when it arrives

Exactly three years later, I found myself seeking shelter under a Brooklyn awning with two boxes of ice pops - one raspberry, one orange - which I was sent to retrieve for my wife. She was deep in labor with our son Henry and I’m not sure if she really wanted ice pops or was just giving me something to do.

But after going to two stores and heading back home I got caught in perhaps the most intense and magical lightning storm of my life. Not to get too mythological here, but as the thunder cracked over my head the reality set in that another big change was about to come.

Roughly 10 hours later, our son Henry arrived. Today is his birthday.

Memorial Day is, rightfully, a time of remembrance. Of recalling people we love who have passed and honoring those who have sacrificed for ourselves, our community and our country.

But for me, Memorial Day will always signify a time for change. A time to take chances, to seek growth, to face your fears and be rewarded for it in ways you could never imagine.

It seems to me that every meaningful thing in life starts with uncertainty

Happy Birthday, Henry. Dad loves you.

Like I am certain that Beethoven just figured everyone understood musical harmony.

Or your cousin, the mouthy engineer, can’t fathom that you don’t understand how a suspension bridge doesn’t just plummet into the sea below it.

Personally, I have no idea how a plane that weighs several tons achieves lift and remains in flight even though my second grade science teacher, Mr. Kaufmann, definitely tried to explain it via some mysterious thing called Bernoulli’s Principle.

In fact, I think if I was sent back in time with my current knowledge of light bulbs and iPhones and blockchain and combustion engines, the fine folks of the Wild West or wherever I landed would say, “Ok, pardner, if you’re so smart, show us how those work!” and I’d just shrug and slowly back out of the saloon before I got shot for being an idiot.

Now if there is one thing I vaguely (and I’d underline vaguely if I knew how my keyboard worked) understand is how your body reacts to training. And while this seems simple and intuitive to me, maybe it’s completely foreign to you. So allow me to use my remaining 792 words here to fill you in on what I’ve coined the “Two-Headed Monster Of Training Adaptation” (copyright pending).

To yield any results from training you need to tap into two systems. If you do not prioritize both systems you will see suboptimal results at best and no results at worst.

The first is stimulus.

Stimulus is what most people think of when they think of training. It’s the lifting of weights. The accumulation of running miles. It’s holding positions for a duration in yoga or pilates class. Essentially, it’s any external demand that you put on your body.

Stimulus must satisfy two components for it to be effective.

The first is that it must follow the SAID principle (take that Bernoulli, we’ve got our own principle!). SAID stands for Specific Adaptation to Imposed Demand. In simple terms, the stimulus must reliably deliver the outcome for which it is being used. If it does, you will adapt in kind.

Want to squat heavier? Then you need to squat with heavier weights. Want to run faster? You are going to need to run with increasingly faster paces.

Your body will adapt to the specific demands put on it. If the goal was “stronger legs” well, then there are many ways to get to that outcome even without squatting (Bulgarian split squats, leg press, leg extension, hamstring curls to name a few). But if you want to “squat heavier” then you would be well served by squatting heavier.

The second component is progressive overload. This just means things need to get harder over time. You can increase the challenge with more weight, more miles, faster paces, shorter rest times, increased range of motion or about a dozen other things that can make the stimulus more challenging.

But more challenging it must become to continue to be effective. (I feel like that should be said in Yoda’s voice)

This will not necessarily be linear (although it can be for a decently long period of time, particularly when you are new) but over your training career things must continue to progress.

OK, the TL;DR on stimulus: it needs to be specific and it needs to get harder over time.

System number two is what I refer to as chemistry.

Chemistry is the chemical interactions that happen within your body based on both internal and external factors.

One of those external factors is the aforementioned stimulus. You put a stimulus on your body and your muscles react by becoming bigger or more resilient and your nervous system responds by improving its signaling to your muscles.

Nutrition falls squarely under chemistry. The number of calories you eat and the amount of those calories that are constructed of protein, carbohydrates and fats will influence both your muscle and fat cells and directly contribute to visual body composition and performance changes.

Supplements are a subcategory of nutrition. Things like Omega 3s, Magnesium and other micronutrients play an important role in cellular function and finding the proper balance will, again, influence health, body composition and performance.

Things such as sleep, stress, mindfulness and relationships - while not being ingestible like nutrition and supplements - still deeply impact your chemistry and internal environment. Hell, a good hug and eye contact changes the chemistry in both your brain and your body.

Finally, exogenous hormones and peptides also (and often very powerfully) change your body’s chemistry. Things such as GLP-1 or testosterone or anabolic steroids will cause cellular reactions that can lead to hunger suppression, muscle growth, increased red blood cell count, fatty liver disease and high blood pressure (listen, there are no biological free rides and many of these compounds have both positive and negative effects).

Now, the magic here is to control both of these systems. Because when you master the stimulus and the chemistry you are in the driver’s seat to your fitness destiny. (I feel like that should be said in George McFly’s voice)

Most people will gravitate towards one or the other. They’ll absolutely fall in love with making sure their training is sound, their log book is up to date and they are managing volume and intensity.

Others will calibrate their food scale weekly, shop only at Whole Foods and chew each bite of their food exactly 16.8 times.

While others will research every peptide, send samples of their supplements out for independent testing and set up iPhone alerts when it’s time for their next protein shake.

But it is the person who controls both sides - the stimulus and the chemistry - that wins the game.

There are definitely people who will advocate for one or the other. They’ll cite this one very flawed study that showed that you don’t even need to lift weights to gain muscle if you take steroids. Or they’ll claim that, since they run 30 miles per week, calories don’t matter.

Those people are, how do I say this delicately, wrong.

Because while genetics are the one thing you cannot control, the stimulus and the chemistry are in your hands. And focusing on them both simultaneously and synergistically is what will lead to optimal results.

And isn’t that what you are really after.

This was the 1980’s. There were only four television channels and nothing else to do.

So, roughly every 30 minutes, the same thirty second commercial would appear on the small screen. The second the first four instrumental bars of the Motown classic “I Heard It Through The Grapevine” played I’d stop trying to press my index finger into every last crumb of my recently devoured Little Debbie snack cake and turn my attention to the TV.

For the remaining 26 seconds the raisins, presented in a brand-new-to-me claymation style, would sing and dance around the screen and implore us all to enjoy California raisins as a snack.

I was not alone.

The California Raisins were an absolute pop culture sensation. There were action figures. Their faces adorned sweatshirts. They were essentially the Sabrina Carpenter of their day: small, cute, sparkly, ubiquitous and of questionable talent.

I could have watched those commercials and thought to myself, “I really enjoy soul music, maybe I’d like to play the bass,” or “This animation style is cool, I wonder how they do that!”

But, no, I decided that my enjoyment of a single half minute of entertainment could only mean one thing: I should go into advertising.

So I decided at roughly twelve years old that my career would revolve around making television commercials that, hopefully, lived up to the beloved raisins.

Listen, it could have been worse. The only other job options I saw for my future at that point were professional wrestler, piano player for the E Street Band or center for the New York Knicks.

But given that my mother wouldn’t even let me play football for risk of injury (this was way before this was common practice), I didn’t know how to play nor did I own a piano and I was, at the time, a five and half foot white Jewish kid living on Long Island, none of these other aspirations seemed attainable.

I’ve talked about my advertising career here many times. And for those of you who, very reasonably, do not remember those posts I will sum it up this way. It was fine.

I managed to stay employed for 14 years, was very well liked at the agencies I worked for and did absolutely nothing remarkable in my near decade and a half of serving the ad Gods.

Being successful at advertising takes a certain work ethic (of which I’m pretty sure I didn’t have) but it also takes a certain level of talent. A creativity in understanding and maximizing the form.

It also takes luck, managing office politics and navigating completely subjective rules that change based on your creative director, the client and the project you are working on at any given time.

Is Dan Weiden a genius for coming up with “Just Do It” for Nike? For sure.

Would he have been able to get it through if he was a junior copywriter and if Phil Knight, head of Nike, wasn’t receptive to a revolutionary idea? No.

I can promise you this, if I would have brought “Just Do It” to Bed Bath and Beyond they would have told me to cut out the pie-in-the-sky shit and write another 20% off coupon cause that’s what drives business.

You may be wondering at this point, kind of like you do at this point every week, what the hell this has to do with fitness.

Well, quite a bit.

Because while advertising relies on opportunity and timing and all the other celestial bodies aligning magic that I mentioned, fitness doesn’t rely on that at all.

Fitness is, in its own way, quite democratic. It can work for anyone who pursues it.

Before you quickly reach for your mouse to click the reply button and tell me how genetics and health and socio-economic status most certainly do influence and limit your level of fitness, I will start with this caveat: I agree with you.

Genetic limitations were certainly going to prevent me from my dream of being the heir apparent to Patrick Ewing as the center of the Knicks. And if you were born with or developed diseases such as cerebral palsy or leukemia you face very real challenges in your fitness pursuits. And eating well and having access to a gym or training may be beyond many people’s financial means.

All true.

But that is not what I am really talking about here. What I’m actually getting at is that fitness is one of the most linear effort-to-reward activities you could ever pursue.

Nearly all of us have the ability to get stronger and faster, move better and improve body composition from wherever we are right now.

It doesn’t take luck or being in the right place at the right time or your neighbor putting in a good word so you get the interview.

“So what does it take, Dan?”

Excellent question. Let me start with the simple stuff.

Getting stronger simply requires systematically lifting heavier weights over time. This will not be linear. You won’t just one rep max more and more weight every time you go to the gym. But with a basic understanding of training principles, if you simply focus on making things more challenging you will drive up your capabilities.

Similarly, getting faster requires a combination of simple training parameters (building an aerobic base, speed work, muscular endurance) that will build speed systematically.

Improving body composition is a matter of training regularly, sleeping well, ingesting the right number of calories and making sure enough of those calories are coming from protein.

Moving better may require mobility and flexibility work and performing exercises with great technique in a full range of motion.

Is this an oversimplification? Not really. You do have to understand how these things work and be able to apply them, but those basic principles still remain true.

So what is holding us back? If it’s all that simple, why aren’t we all doing it.

Well, because simple is not easy.

The truth is most people do not have an accurate representation of what it is they are doing. I mean, be honest with yourself. Do you really know exactly how many calories you’ve eaten every day for the last two days? How about two months or two years?

What did you back squat last week? What’s your all time best set of 5? When did you do it?

You don’t know what you are currently doing so you have no reference point on where you need to go.

Which leads me to my second point, you aren’t doing it for long enough.

For example, being in a caloric deficit kinda sucks. And most of us need to be in one for longer than we’d like to think to be satisfied with the outcomes.

The truth is, you probably gained or held onto that extra 40 pounds over the course of decades. It’s going to take more than three weeks in a deficit to unwind all that.

But being in a deficit for weeks or months at a time sucks. So we justify with cheat meals or we stop tracking and then claim that dieting doesn’t work for us.

Honestly, the fact that we can unwind years of not paying attention to our bodies in a matter of months is actually a bit of a miracle. Yet those months seem impossible to string together.

Are there exceptions? Of course. But I don’t even want to get into those. Because, somehow, nearly everyone believes that they are an outlier. That these democratic rules of fitness don’t apply to them. That they will only get bulky if they weight train. Or that caloric deficits don’t work on them.

But the truth almost always ends up being they just didn’t do it precisely enough for long enough.

It’s not the system that is flawed but the execution of that system.

I recently went back and watched the California raisins commercials I loved as a kid. And as the nostalgia washed over me I came to a startling revelation: I went into advertising because of this?!?!?

It was fine. Cute. Memorable, I guess. But revolutionary? Not even close.

Which is kind of the point.

Advertising works when the timing is right, the client says yes and the stars align. You can do everything right and still lose.

Fitness is the opposite.

It doesn’t care about timing. It doesn’t care about opinions. And it definitely doesn’t care about luck.

If you execute the basics with precision, and you do it long enough, your body has no choice but to respond.

No magic. No breakthrough moment.

Just work that adds up.

I actually have a huge project titled, creatively enough, “Blog Posts” with maybe my last 50 posts loaded in

Chat knows my writing style very well. And it always gives me the same feedback.

(Side note: you can go into settings and change Chat’s tone by prompting it on how you want to be spoken to. The default setting has a bit of a “yes man” quality to it. Like your Elvis surrounded by goons who are on your payroll and would rather see you die on a toilet than tell you that, perhaps, you are overdoing it on the drugs. But I’ve coached ChatGPT to shoot me straight, which it now does. Pretty neat.)

As I said, Chat always tells me the same thing:

This is a pretty solid blog post, Dan. You are about 85% of the way there. Let’s take a look at what’s working and what will get it from a "B" to a solid “A” that will truly resonate with your audience.

It then congratulates me on really maintaining my voice and putting something out there that is truly my own. Apparently it has recognized that I am going to weave in a Justin Bieber joke, some Bugs Bunny-level sophomoric comedy and wrap the whole thing up in an inspirational or emotional bow that seemingly comes out of left field.

It will then proceed to tell me that the advice I am giving is very solid and will help my audience. Which is, according to it, a rare trait when it comes to the health and fitness space.

Who knew?

Finally it will hit me with the bad news. Primarily that my openings are too self-indulgent, are 30-40% too long and would test the patience of a high-level monk whose only goal is to learn how to bench press.

For what it’s worth, Chat is not wrong. I’ll probably put this very post in and it will tell me that my intro about my intros being too long is too long and I will be stuck in the middle of a very meta argument with a machine that is unquestionably smarter and perhaps more insightful than I am.

In any case, I find it ironic or dumb or whatever that I spend my time trying to get validation from my AI overlord and then summarily dismiss the revisions that would garner such approval.

That’s correct. I don’t actually do anything Chat tells me to do when it comes to my writing. And, I know exactly how it must feel about this (if it has feelings at all). Because loads of people ask me for fitness advice and then completely ignore it.

Equally interesting and even more confounding is that people will give themselves health and fitness advice and then quickly find reasons not to follow it.

They will get a report from the doctor or catch a glimpse of themselves in the mirror on a Tuesday afternoon and realize they must (MUST!) start eating better. But just as quickly they decide that they should really start their plan on the following Monday because they read an article that claims that Mondays are really the best day to start.

Or they will take a tour of a gym with the intention of training three times per week but not join because they may schedule a 10 day trip to Bali in 7 months from now and they don’t want to blow the consistency that they haven’t even begun to build.

Your body, like everyone else in your life, pays way more attention to your actions than it does to your words. You can tell your wife from today until tomorrow that you are going to start the laundry. But until you actually do it, she doesn’t give a shit.

Your body is the same way. It doesn’t care that you are “going” to start eating 200 grams of protein per day or start doing the compound lifts. It just knows that you typically spend your weekends sitting on the couch hitting a vape pen while being wrist deep in a bag of Pirates Booty.

Luckily, your old pal Dan is here to help.

Because most people don’t need a ton of help knowing what to do (although they may get the finer details wrong) but they do struggle with finding systems and strategies that allow them to get it done.

Ironically, when I lost weight initially, I was the opposite. I didn’t know orange juice was primarily a carbohydrate. I didn’t know that strength training would have helped me more than spending my time on the elliptical. I was just white knuckling it. I decided I wanted to lose weight and stayed remarkably dedicated to it even though I didn’t have a clue. In my experience most people suffer from the opposite.

Nowadays you have the internet and the aforementioned ChatGPT and, most importantly, this blog to set you straight and lay out the plan for you. It’s executing the plan that’s the problem.

You don’t need more information. You need strategies.

Strategies allow you to implement the plan. To ideally make it as mindless and painless and robotic as possible to execute the plan. And not to wait until Monday to do so.

I’ll give you my favorite example of a strategy. Intermittent fasting.

For over a decade the scientific literature has proven that IF does nothing magical. It doesn’t alter your gut microbiome. It doesn’t promote growth hormone release. It doesn’t induce autophagy.

What it does do is limit the amount of time during the day that you can eat, so people eat less. And eating less is the way to control your calories and lose weight.

So while IF isn’t magic and doesn’t work how people think, it’s still a good strategy for a lot of people who struggle to control calories.

My favorite strategy, and the one that actually does have evidence behind it, when it comes to nutrition is food logging.

Whether you want to gain muscle or lose weight, logging your food actually works better than any other intervention when it comes to reaching that goal.

That’s right. More than going vegan or going keto or tracking macros or joining the carnivore subreddit, simply keeping track of what you eat will have the greatest impact on what you eat.

Tracking apps are great for this but here is another endorsement for using ChatGPT to log your intake.. It can help you develop a strategy that will have you reaching your goals and then you can have an active dialogue with it daily about what you’ve been doing and it can course correct in real time. It’s much more conversational than something like MyFitness Pal and you may find yourself trying to be more adherent so you don’t let down what is essentially a soulless machine.

It’s kind of like how you interrupt your Little League game to “feed” your Tomogachi cause there was no way you were going to let that little digital pet die. That is, until the screen started fading and you didn’t have any of those weird round watch batteries so you just threw it in a drawer and never thought about it again.

Final strategy. And before you start with eye rolls I fully recognized that this is a biased take. But it doesn’t make it any less true. Join a gym or training program or get a personal trainer where the cost makes you slightly uncomfortable.

People are much more motivated by what they might lose as opposed to what they might gain. So going to Planet Fitness for a free Tootsie Roll and a few machine chest presses may seem like a great idea. And you might actually do it occasionally.

But pay $150 per hour for a personal trainer who has a no bullshit cancellation policy and suddenly you will find yourself crawling out of bed at 5:30AM with the biggest wine hangover you’ve ever had in your life because there is no effing way you are just losing that money.

Set up a system where the consequences are a real forcing function of you attending and, voila, you are magically getting in those three sessions per week.

All right, I’m about to “command A” and then “command C” and put this all into ChatGPT so it can tell me what I already know. That the information is great and the voice is strong. It's really going to love the Elvis joke. But the opening is too long. In fact I should consider cutting the whole thing by 30%.

And what happened to the emotional twist ending?

Buh-bah-buh-bah-bu-b-b-bu-b-b-bu,b-b-bu-b-b-bu……

It is so remarkably simple yet manages to kick you in the teeth while also stealing your girlfriend.

It’s the lead track on Zep’s second album which is arguably (though incorrectly) their best. This is no easy feat as most musical acts struggle with their follow-up efforts.

There is a somewhat famous saying that goes something like “You have a lifetime to make your first album. And if it’s a hit, you have 8 months to make your second.”

And most artists just can’t capture that same hunger and magic that makes their first album so great.

This is why I rarely, if ever, write sequels to these blog posts. When it comes to such topics as why Zone 2 is overhyped (it is!) and why Kelly Clarkson is the best music to listen to while training (she is!) I’m a one-and-done guy.

But last week’s blog on how losing 22lbs has helped me with my running performance and what losing in weight in general means for your health, performance and aesthetics had my mailbag overflowing with questions.

So here is my follow-up. My sophomore album if you will. Hopefully I do better than Fleetwood Mac releasing “Tusk” after killing it with “Rumours”.

The many questions can really be condensed into one general query. “How, Dan, as a relatively lean person, did you lose 22lbs?” And, the less directly asked but equally important follow up “How can I do this as well?”

It would be impossible for me to give you exact answers here as everyone is in a different starting point, has different needs and experiences and is on a different journey. Which I recognize is a very unsatisfactory answer.

However, there are some universal truths when it comes to weight loss and, in particular, weight loss while maintaining muscle and performance that can be really helpful if that is your goal.

The first, and I’d argue most important, is that you need to get your daily calories correct. You want to aim for a reasonable and slight deficit of about 250 calories below maintenance.

This is going to seem minor to those of you who are used to eating 1000 cals below daily needs in those two weeks prior to your high school reunion when you crash diet in the hopes of fitting back into your prom dress.

But the 250 does two things. First, it’s sustainable. You can be just below maintenance for a very long time without the negative effects that tend to affect more drastic cuts.

Secondly, it will preserve muscle mass. These two things really work hand-in-hand. You are going to want weight loss to be slow so you can maintain muscle mass and performance. Otherwise you are going to be 1) bummed when your gym performance absolutely tanks and 2) bummed when you hit your target weight and have no muscle to show for it and you look flatter than that pancake on top of your McGriddle.

Unless you are in a weight category sport, your weight doesn’t really matter. Most people need to get a bit lighter to get the physiques they want. But the physique you want is the goal, not a scale number. And the physique you want includes muscle. Heavier with muscle is going to look better than lighter without.

After the calories are dialed in you are going to want to make sure that a certain percentage of those calories are protein. That is going to be 40% of those calories or, looked at another way, is approximately 1 gram of protein per 1lb of body weight.

Protein also ensures that you will maintain muscle and strength while in a deficit and can really help with cravings which are also sure to hit during a deficit.

Less important is your distribution of carbs and fats but if you want to manage that I would say 40% carbs, 20% fats. Why? Carbs help with performance and, you guessed it, retaining muscle mass. And fats - while important for satiety and hormonal health - are also very calorically dense and easy to overdo.

When it comes to training, you are going to want to prioritize strength training. Why? You guessed it, it will help preserve muscle mass which I think I’ve argued for roughly 17 times already in this blog post.

Strength train three times per week. And while you want to put a solid effort in, don’t expect PRs. You are in a deficit and your body is more interested in surviving than it is in maxing out your hip thrusts. Your heaviest lifts should be reserved for when you are back at maintenance or in a surplus.

Also, do not let your volume get out of hand. You may feel very motivated by the efficacy or your nutrition plan and decide “it’s working, let me dial it up and it will work more!” But that will actually lead to you plateauing and feeling flat. It’s ironic, I know. But more doesn’t equal more in this case.

Increase in training volume should almost always be accompanied by an increase in calories. Not a deficit.

Speaking of that, do not, I repeat do not use cardio as a method to burn extra calories. In fact, you should almost never look at exercise or training as a method of burning cals. Training is where you build things (muscle, performance, confidence, tolerance for a Bad Bunny playlist) not burn things. And the extra cardio is just going to add more stress and, just like the extra strength training volume, will just lead to you stalling out. Nutrition should do the work of managing calories, not training.

I know you don’t believe me. But that doesn’t make it untrue.

Last thing (but this doesn’t make it any less important) is that you are going to want to get ample sleep. Shorting sleep will lead to fat storage as that is how your body reacts to stress and lack of sleep is very stressful on your system.

Unlike training, this is a case where more is better but, realistically, 7.5 hours is what most research has concluded is necessary for an adult. If you had a particularly hard training session, an extra 30 to 60 minutes wouldn’t hurt.

You may be saying to yourself “Dan, this is some real basic shit” and you would be correct. These are probably the things you already know or could have figured out with about 12 seconds of research.

But regardless of what the Biohacking subreddit might tell you, your results really rely on mastering these basics with consistency.

None of this is complicated. But almost no one does it consistently enough for it to work.

The final ingredient? Patience. If you attack your weight loss this way you will get the best result and you will have achieved it in the most sustainable and healthy way. But it will take longer than a crash diet or red light therapy or sunlight on your butthole or whatever the longevity gurus are promoting these days.

So think one to two pounds per week, consistently until you reach your goals.

It may not be dramatic. You may end up with a pale butthole. But you are going to ultimately have your health and the body you actually wanted all along.

I don’t speak directly and exclusively to Dungeons and Dragons Masters who are looking to add more trap mass so they are more intimidating when they lore over, well, whatever it is they lore over.

I don’t create custom programs for pickleball or taxidermy or whatever other perverse things people are into.

No. This is general fitness content perfectly wrapped up in childhood trauma, pop culture references, nostalgia and Dad jokes in an effort to get you to think a bit differently about fitness.

This week, however, I’m taking a slight left turn. Kind of like when Snoop Dogg decided to do a reggae album and call himself Snoop Lion, I’m both spreading my wings and drilling down. Hopefully this experiment goes better than his did.

Actually, I’m making more of it than it really is. This is still fitness advice and actually has practical application to everyone.

Dammit, I already blew my entire set up here.

In any case, your patience is likely already thin so let me get to the point.

I am once again doing Hyrox this year. It will be more 4th time participating in the same division with the same partner.

In the past, I hadn’t taken Hyrox very seriously.

Sure, I’ve added in some running so I didn’t die 45 minutes in (man, my wife would be so pissed if I died during Hyrox) but I never really had a goal or even worried about my finish time. In fact, when I showed up to my first Hyrox I don’t think I had done even one burpee broad jump prior to the race.

Now, I am about to break the laws of blogging, which were probably set by Hemmingway or Hormozi or someone else of equal importance, in two ways.

The first is that I am about to discuss something that I am actually in the middle of doing. This is considered verboten. You only write about that which you have already and finished and survived in order to not come across as overly emotional.

The second is that I am about to make a prediction. And you never commit to a prediction that can then be waved in your face by your haters - of which I have many - when you fail to predict correctly.

But this year, for Hyrox, I have a goal. I’m planning on finishing in less than one hour and twenty minutes. Which, honestly, isn’t going to win me any flags. But when your running resembles that of The Thing (you know, that one guy in the Fantastic Four who is made entirely out of rocks) finishing in that time is a challenge.

And, sure, I’m being a bit more tactical and, dare I say, more dedicated to my training this time around. But I wanted to share my secret strategy that I believe is actually going to make this achievable for me.

And that has been improving my body composition. Or, more directly, losing weight.

Over the past 8 months or so I have slowly and steadily dropped about 22 pounds. Going from 238 to my current 216. If things continue to go to plan I should hit the starting tunnel at Hyrox at around 208 to 210.

The reason the decrease in body weight has been a game changer for me is its effect on my running.

When you decrease the amount of tissue you need to oxygenate you essentially build a more efficient engine before you ever even start training your heart and lungs. Do that in conjunction with getting in targeted cardio and you have now attacked the problem from both sides. You’ve improved the ability of your muscles and organs and you’ve decreased the amount of load they need to carry.

As Alice from accounting says as she concludes her rousing presentation on why limiting your paper towel usage in the company kitchen is both good for the organization and the environment, this is a win-win.

But maybe you don’t care about Hyrox. Or running at all for that matter. Fair enough. With that in mind, let me give you some insight into other aspects of your fitness, health and what I will categorize as “other” that are affected by your body weight.

We’ve already established that a lighter body weight is going to be better for cardiovascular performance but it is also likely better for cardiovascular health in general. In fact, there is actually a fairly direct correlation between bodyweight (regardless of body composition) and life span. With lighter people typically living longer.

Conversely, people with more muscle mass tend to be more resistant to the types of injuries that can lead to a higher mortality rate in older people. Most notably death from accidents and falls.

Being lighter will be advantageous on nearly every body weight exercise, most notably pull-ups and their variations. In fact, if you’ve been struggling to improve your pull-ups or to get your first one, a lighter body weight is often the biggest lever you can utilize for improvement.

Conversely, a lighter body weight will typically limit your strength when it comes to loaded movements such as deadlifts, squats and bench presses. We have a saying in strength training: mass moves mass. The heavier people are, the more strength they can usually express. This is the reason that all strength sports have different divisions for different body weight categories.

And when it comes to your perceived body composition, you will almost always look more jacked in clothing at a higher body weight and look more jacked in little to no clothing when you are lighter and leaner. So if you want people to know you work out regardless of what you are wearing, consider a bit more size in the colder months where the layers of clothes will make you even more muscular and save the dieting down from when you are walking around the city in a bikini on a weekday because, goddammit, the world needs to see these abs I dieted down for whether it’s appropriate or not.

Here is the big takeaway from all this. Body weight is one of the most powerful but misunderstood levers in fitness because it improves some things while hurting others. You just have to figure out what trade-offs work best for you at any given moment.

When I first told all our head coaches that I was aiming for an hour and twenty minute Hyrox time this season I was met with a combination of eye rolls and some very, very hollow “that’s so sweet that you think you can do that” platitudes.

But just like Rocky in the first movie (and perhaps every Rocky movie that has followed) I am prepared to shock the world and prove everyone wrong.

But just in case I don’t, please just delete this blog right after you finish reading it.

Just half a decade earlier they had sold roughly 3 trillion copies of their debut album “Cracked Rear View”. But when their follow-up album only sold roughly 1 trillion copies and the rock music world slowly turned from their feel-good harmony driven pop to the garage-blues sounds of The Strokes and The White Stripes, we quickly found ourselves wondering how we could have ever loved Hootie in the first place.

What people who still walk around in faded Nirvana shirts still fail to remember is that the rise of Hootie came as a direct reaction to five years of Grunge that preceded them. Sure, we all loved growing our hair so it hung below our eyes, buying crappy pawnshop vintage guitars and playing them while we stood on stage staring at our shoes and singing about how fucked everything is.

Ultimately, we needed a break from all that. And Hootie, with their songs about only wanting to be with you and holding your hand played on acoustic guitars with smiley drummers named Sonny while wearing J. Crew’s finest was the anecdote we all asked for.

Recently, the American Academy of Sports Medicine (one of the five or so main educational bodies within the field of strength and conditioning) released a huge meta-analysis that concluded that most of the things fitness people argue about don’t matter nearly as much as we think. What matters is showing up consistently.

Barbells or machines? Doesn’t matter.

Organizing training so more complex tasks come earlier in the sessions? Doesn’t matter.

Working on specific strength qualities and energy systems for certain periods of time rather than training randomly and chaotically? Doesn’t matter.

At least, that was the interpretation.

Kyle has made several videos on this topic and the reactions have been, how do I put this gently, varied.

Some people, particularly those who are new to training and don’t have posters of Frank Zane hanging up in their bedroom, love the simplicity of the message.

There is such a wealth of often conflicting information as to what makes for good training that the idea that all you need to do is show up and spend some hours in the gym each week is very refreshing.

For those of us who have spent hours reading Mel Siff’s “Super Training”, have given up many weekends to attend seminars on optimizing fast-twitch muscle fibers and have made a living dissecting the minutia for athletes and clients, well, we are slightly less receptive to these findings.

So what I want to do here is give you a different view that lands at what I believe is the proper balance. What is this study really trying to tell us and what is truly important when it comes to training.

Let me answer the main question first. Is consistency the most important factor when it comes to training outcomes?

It’s hard to argue that it isn’t.

I can design a beautiful program that is the perfect combination of volume and intensity, targets all the major muscle groups and movement patterns and improves power, increases muscle mass and promotes injury resistance.

If you do that program twice per month you aren’t going to get much out of it.

Conversely, if your program isn’t great but you show up consistently and train with focus and effort will you see measurable (if perhaps not optimal) results? Almost certainly.

But don’t ignore the details here. Consistency only works if you show up and train with focus and intensity.

What do I mean here? Your time in the gym needs to be spent training, not socializing or hogging the peck deck with your nose buried in Instagram.

If you are weight training, the sets need to be taken close to failure (typically within 5 reps) and need to be challenging.

So, yes, nothing good will happen if you don’t walk through those gym doors. Those are the table stakes. But showing up isn’t enough. You have to engage with focus and intensity.

Does it matter whether you use machines or free weights? Dumbbells or kettlebells? Selectorized stacks or plate loaded equipment?

No. Not that much.

Muscles are relatively simple. They contract and expand. Flex and extend. As long as they are performing those actions under tension, where that tension comes from isn’t wildly important.

However for skill development or athletic carryover, the type of equipment you utilize becomes more critical. For example, if you want to compete in Olympic Weightlifting or are even just curious about performing exercises such as the snatch, you are going to need to train with a barbell. But if your goals are just bigger quadriceps does a barbell squat matter much more than a plate-loaded leg press or a selectorized leg extension? No.

Does following a structured, progressive, thoughtful program really matter or does chaotic training (as long as it’s done with focus and intensity) yield the same result?

This is where you need to bring a bit of nuance into the conversation.

Programs make sure that your training is balanced, deliver the outcomes you are looking for and make you more injury-resistant. They also bring a lot of engagement to your training. People actually respond really well to constraints and knowing that your training has a structure and destination will make it much more likely to engage with it. Which will lead to greater consistency.

Many people, left to their own devices, will just do what they like rather than what they need. Which will lead to less than ideal outcomes at best and injuries at worst. A good example is our client Pat who loves to bench press and during Covid, when he was training on his own, decided he was going to bench press every day.

This led to his legs getting weaker, his bench progress stalling and developing a nagging shoulder injury that still plagues him to this day.

So, sure, if you randomly walk around the gym and intuitively decide what you are going to do that day you can still make good progress? As long as those “random” decisions lead you to training all the major muscle groups, progressing weights and intensity over time, staying interested in training and not blowing yourself up the answer is yes.

Which really means the answer is no.

Last two things that I will say are still important even in the presence of everything we’ve mentioned above.

The first is specificity. If you want to get better at something, you should train that thing. You will not become a better runner or squatter or boxer without engaging in those activities. Other exercises can support those activities, but they are not a substitute for them.

Secondly, progressive overload (the act of making things more difficult over time) does still play a major role in training. Your body is a very adaptive organism. You need to give it new and more challenging things to adapt to if you want it to change over time.

Sick of the constant criticism, Darius Rucker, the lead singer of Hootie and The Blowfish, left the band for nearly two decades to pursue a more “serious” career as a country artist.

And it worked! He sold millions of albums, won numerous awards and still packed stadiums.

But, along the way, it seems like he didn’t have to throw out the baby with the bath water. Once the criticism calmed down and the nostalgia kicked in he decided to reunite with Hootie and The Blowfish. And nearly two decades after they were the punchline of the joke they’ve returned to performing at sold out Summer tours.

Right now, fitness is in its Hootie phase. Pushing back against years of overcomplication.

And that’s a good thing.

But eventually, like music, it finds its balance.

The people who get the best results won’t be the ones chasing perfect programs or ignoring them entirely.

They’ll be the ones who show up, train hard, and do just enough of the right things to keep moving forward.

No, it’s not a group for recreational arsonists.

It’s also not a club for pre-teens who claim that everything is “lowkey fire”.

FI/RE actually stands for “Financial Independence/Retire Early”. FI/RE people spend their time and efforts trying to figure out ways to squirrel away savings, maximize their 401k and pay as little as possible for their monthly needs all with the goal of dropping out of the daily rat race while having enough money to sustain them for the rest of their lives.

You know those Instagrammers who buy a Lambo and drop $2k on a steak covered in gold leaf because, you know, YOLO? The FI/RE people are the direct opposite of those folks.

And, hey, I think these FI/RE disciples are mostly smart. So many people buy things they can’t afford and end up swimming in credit card debt while constantly looking out of their blinds waiting for the tow truck to show up to repossess their Nissan Maxima cause they are two payments behind.

I learned about the FI/RE community where I learned about most communities. Through the safety of my laptop screen on Reddit. And while a lot of the discussion there revolves around such thrilling topics as dollar cost averaging the S&P 500 and how to save 12 cents per week by washing your t-shirts by hand, one recent post really got my attention.

It was posted by a guy who spent the better part of two decades following all of FI/RE’s best practices. And, lo and behold, it worked. He was now in his later 40’s and according to his meticulous spreadsheets only a couple of years away from quitting his job, selling his modest one bedroom apartment in Akron and retiring to the Florida panhandle.

But before his fellow firestarters could congratulate him on a job well done, he began to lay out a set of regrets from engaging in this lifestyle. His longtime girlfriend, who initially supported his thrifty efforts, left him. Citing the fact that they never traveled, never set aside time for fun and never had kids.

Her leaving led to a reckoning. What was the point of aiming for this ultimate freedom if it meant that he lived a life of no adventure, no good times, no memories, no family?

He was socking away all his money to “have a life” but, in reality, life had slipped away.

And while most people think this kind of all-or-nothing thinking only shows up in money, we’ve built the exact same trap in fitness.

In our world we have our own version of “let’s put all our eggs in one basket in the hopes of a glorious future filled with amazing body composition, incredible strength and all the sexual partners of our choosing”. And this approach is something that we affectionately refer to as bulking and cutting.

If you are unfamiliar with bulking and cutting it actually isn’t very hard to imagine what it might be just from the name.

When you are bulking, you spend all your time eating a surplus of calories (sometimes a remarkable surplus) in order to gain (ideally) as much muscle mass as possible. You accept that you will also accumulate fat mass during the bulking period but you justify this trade off by knowing that under that layer of fluff lies what must be pounds of newly formed Grade A beef.

After bulking for months or possibly years, you enter the cutting phase which is much the same but just in reverse. You put yourself in a caloric deficit, wear sweat suits while doing long, slow steady state cardio in the hopes of melting the fat away and revealing that muscle mass that you have accumulated.

Now, don’t get me wrong. For drug-assisted lifters or teenage boys who do a very high volume of training and little else, bulking and cutting can be an effective strategy.

But for most recreational lifters (ie. everyone reading this right now) bulking and cutting simply leads to constant levels of dissatisfaction.

When you are bulking, sure, you look like a guy who lifts but you also look like that slightly obese guy around the office who should probably opt to go up one pant size the next time he buys a suit. Instead of people asking you what you do for workouts they ask what your cholesterol numbers look like.

And when you cut, rather than revealing a chiseled physique, you once again don’t really look like you spend time training. The best you can hope for is Janice from accounting noticing that you “lost a little weight” and wondering if you are suffering from a breakup or an illness.

Much like my Reddit friend who realized that by spending his life saving he actually missed out on a lot of life, when you are endlessly cycling between bulking and cutting you just spend most of your time never being in the shape you really want to be.

So, what is the alternative?

That’s a great question and I don’t have a definitive answer because I don’t know you. It would be like asking your financial advisor how to save for retirement without telling her your age, how much money you make and what your goals are.

But in an effort to reward your patience by reading this far, I will give you two viable approaches.

Most people are a bit overweight and would really benefit from a health, confidence and aesthetic standpoint if they lost some body fat in order to reveal some definition and change their silhouette. The best way to approach this is to engage in a moderate caloric deficit (eat 250 - 500 calories below your daily maintenance needs), make sure that you are getting ample protein and lift heavy weights about three times per week.

This strategy is going to help you consistently lose fat while maintaining or even increasing your lean muscle mass, bone density, hormonal profile and general health.

If you view yourself as very weak or scrawny for your frame, you can utilize the same strategy but with a slight caloric surplus. Around 250 - 500 calories in excess.

This will give you the opportunity to increase size without risking the majority of that weight being body fat rather than muscle.

Can you add cardio to these plans? Sure. But that is more for performance and health rather than body composition improvements. Don’t think of cardio as a way of burning calories. Consider it more for increasing your daily activity levels and keeping your organs healthy.

Both of these simple strategies are not a short term fix. You will not get shredded in 6 weeks or put on 48lbs of muscle in 48 days or whatever your favorite Instagram account claims that it can do for you.

But it will help you get to where you want to go without feeling like shit along the way.

Because the goal shouldn't be to suffer now so you can finally enjoy your body later. The goal is to build a body you don’t need a break from.

Let’s call him Eduardo.

You’ve known Eduardo for a while. You guys both work on the same floor. You occasionally play Fortnite together. You aren’t exactly best friends but you figured if he ever got married he’d invite you to his wedding.

You may not know his life story but you also figure he’s not holding any secrets. But then one day, during a business trip, he just casually sits down at the piano in the hotel lobby and without warning breaks out a beautiful version of Billy Joel’s “Vienna”.

“Jesus Christ, Eduardo. Where the hell did that come from?!?!” you ask.

But what Eduardo hasn’t told you is that he’s been quietly practicing for 40 minutes per day for years before he even touched one key in front of another person.

Same thing with Jenny. That seemingly fast rising junior exec at your firm.

How the hell is she getting put on all the best projects while you still basically have one foot in the mailroom?

You don’t see the countless hours of research and classes and extra work she has done to “come out of nowhere” and become the youngest vice president at the firm.

The truth is, anything worthwhile takes longer and requires more effort than you think it will.

Want to get the physique you truly want? It’s going to take a lot more than cutting down from two sleeves to only one sleeve of Oreos while rewatching Lord Of The Rings for the 23rd time.

Want to grow an epic beard? It’s going to take you more than three weeks.

(Actually that one isn’t true. Some of us can grow epic beards in days or even hours!).

The point I’m making here is that the good stuff takes longer to get than you think and requires way, way more effort than you’d hope.

And there are two reasons for this.

The first is that we are impatient.

So many of us spend so much time in the contemplative phase of making a decision that by the time we take action we are already fatigued. I will use, conveniently enough, choosing a new gym as an example.

Very few people just wake up and decide they want to get in shape. It usually gnaws at them for a bit. Or they have a health scare. Or they see a photo of themselves at an unfortunate angle. And then they think “huh, I should probably do something about this,” but they don’t. Instead they think and contemplate and put it in the back of their mind until they bolt up in the middle of the night realizing they need to make a change.

But make a change, they do not. Instead they move from contemplation to exploration because 1) it feels like they are taking action even though they are not and 2) it makes them feel like they won’t make a mistake.

So instead of jumping in, we ask ChatGPT, do a Google search, look through various websites, check the corresponding Instagram pages, ask our one jacked friend what he thinks, call the gym, set up a tour of the gym, sleep on it, figure out our finances, head on vacation for a week, forget about it for another two as we catch back up with work, call again because you forgot the details and all of a sudden you are months into the process without having actually done anything.

When you do finally start you think “oh, I’ve been pursuing this for so long, why hasn’t anything happened yet?” when, really, you’ve just begun to take actual action.

The second is that the results you want are elite. Most people never achieve them. And that’s for good reason. They are really, really hard.

Getting results is actually quite easy. Going from squatting 40lbs to 41lbs or weighing 300lbs to 299lbs is certainly a result and probably achievable for most people rather quickly.

But those results don’t leave you satisfied. And satisfaction is the key to any endeavor. Results are meaningless if they don’t help you achieve a level of satisfaction.

And for most people the weight they would actually want to see on the scale or on the bar or the reflection they want to see in the mirror or on their blood work is far from easy to attain.

Add to this that results tend to slow down as you get closer to that level of satisfaction. Lifting or losing the last 5lbs is much harder than the first five.

So where does this leave you?

Great question and I think I have an answer. Or at least an answer that has worked for me. Actually, it’s technically a question.

“What’s the alternative?”

Thinking about quitting the gym because you haven’t chiseled out your dream body in 8 weeks? Ok, what’s the alternative? Are you going to stop training? Go back to a sedentary life? Backslide on all the progress you’ve already made?

You suck at playing the piano even though you’ve been at it for a year and you wonder why you still spend your evenings practicing? Well, what’s the alternative? Stop playing? Spend your time watching Hulu instead or making music, regardless of how bad it might be?

Things not going well at work or with your business and you are thinking about throwing in the towel? Ok, what’s the alternative? Quit and give up what you’ve built? Have no ability to pay your bills? Go back to that corporate job that made you miserable?

I realize that I am jumping to the extremes here. And, truthfully, there is a good answer to “what’s the alternative”. Maybe you need to change up your gym or create a new practice routine or start searching for a new job.

But just because things aren’t going the way you want as quickly as you’d like them to doesn’t mean you just get to quit. Because, while you might not be satisfied with the results you’ve gotten thus far, you’ll never be satisfied if you just give up on the things you want.

That is a guarantee.

One last thing and I’ll leave you to get on with your week. Satisfactory results are a moving target.

If you would have told my sloppy, unmotivated, overweight 26 year old self that I’d marry a woman that was out of my league, have a beautiful boy, own 5 gyms and have the strength and physique that I have right now at 53 years old I would have asked you what type of deal with the devil I made.

But while I have gratitude for all that (and I really do) it doesn’t mean that I’m satisfied.

Human nature dictates that we are constantly hungry for more. That what we want is always two steps away from where we actually are.

Sure, when I was a little, little kid, Dr J. and the New York Nets called the Nassau Colosseum their home court but by the time I turned 4 the ABA merged with the NBA and the Nets moved to New Jersey.

So we were left with the Islanders.

If you’ve followed hockey for the past 40 years you would think this was pretty bleak news. I mean the Islanders have had no more success than our other “cannot win a championship teams” - namely the Knicks, Jets or Mets - since Reagan was in office.

But in the early 80s the Islanders were not only great, they were a dynasty. Winning four Stanley Cup Championships in a row and adopting Queen’s “We Are The Champions” (a new song at the time, if you can believe it) as their surprisingly appropriate anthem.

Personally I didn’t care much for hockey. The puck moves fast, the rinks are cold and I have no idea how to ice skate.

My older brother, however, was a big fan of the Isles.

The middle of their championship run correlated with his high school years. So during the playoffs he would invite his friends over to gather around the television, a small Stanley Cup replica ceremoniously sitting on top for good luck, to watch these games.

And some of these friends were girls. They’d show up to our house with snacks, smelling like hair spray and wearing oversized jerseys of their favorite players over leggings.

This made an impression on my 12 year old self.

A big impression.

To the point where if I still see someone casually wearing a sports jersey I feel some sort of way about it.

My wife has the same thing with J. Crew catalogues. Growing up in suburban Connecticut and going to prep school, J. Crew was “the look” the boys wore while she developed her first crushes. And, if she had her way, I’d probably spend my days wearing slightly pleated khakis and a cardigan over a crisp white shirt.

And this all just goes to prove a simple point: early impressions tend to be a big deal.

You don’t choose what wires itself in early, you just deal with it later.

The same can be said for training.

Your introduction to exercise will have a major impact on your training career for the rest of your life in two major ways.

First, your body just learns what you teach it. Performing exercises with good technique as early as possible sets you up to get the most out of those exercises. It also mitigates the risk of injury when volume and intensity inevitably increase.

As humans, we are adaptation machines. And while that is what allows you to see positive changes from training, it is the same mechanism that will ingrain bad movement patterns.

To put that simply, your body learns to do bad reps from every bad rep you do. So every bad rep is something you will have to unlearn down the line. Twenty years of bad reps will ultimately require a lot of unlearning.

Second, you learn what training is supposed to feel like. Understanding the push and pull of training intensities, volume, what sessions should feel and look like put you on the path to getting the most efficient and effective hours in the gym.

As we discussed recently, people tend to fall on extreme sides of the spectrum. They either sleepwalk through every workout or they end their life every time they step on the training floor.

Gaining an understanding of how to modulate training, how to perform in the difficult moments and how to follow programs as prescribed will lead to the best outcomes. So you are going to want to start that as soon as possible.

“But Daaaaaan. I’ve already been training for 15 years and some of us didn’t have the luxury of working with a good trainer or getting good advice. So what am I supposed to doooooooo???”

Well, they say the best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is today.

As I’ve already mentioned, your body is amazingly adaptable. And just because you’ve taught it some bad habits it doesn’t mean those bad habits can’t be unlearned.

The key to doing this is having the humility to take a step (or three steps) back and turn your focus to quality, technique and range of motion and away from performance and intensity.

Don’t worry! You will still get plenty of training stimulus. You will still make strides towards looking good in your tank top and bikini in a few months.

But you’ll be doing so much more. You’ll learn what training is truly all about. You’ll begin to ingrain the patterns that should have been the foundation of your training when you started all those years ago.

When you were mobile and pliable and easily fell in love with older girls in hockey jerseys.

Some early impressions you never shake. The good news is, your training doesn’t have to be one of them.

While we were waiting for my wife to join us, I would start with “Midnight Lullaby” by Tom Waits.

The last line “when you are much older, remember when we sat, at midnight on the windowsill and had this little chat”. He’s trying to hold onto the moment. That always punched me in the chest.

The second was “Tennessee Flat Top Box” by Johnny Cash. A story about a boy who gets so good at guitar that he eventually leaves town to chase something bigger.

Then my wife would appear and we’d sing a duet of “You Are My Sunshine” before it was time for lights out.

Some nights I was so exhausted that I just wanted to rush through it. And I always felt guilty once I did.

But most nights, I knew exactly what I had. And I wanted to freeze time so I could hold onto it forever and for always.

At some point, the ritual stopped. Kids get older. Bed times change and with them the night time routine fades away.

I hadn’t thought about it much until I found myself staring at a particular picture on the photograph-filled credenza that sits behind the table in our eat-in kitchen. The same table where we have dinner every night.

It’s of Henry and I. He’s probably 5 or 6. We’re walking through our neighborhood. He’s on my shoulders as I look into the camera and he stares off into the distance.

And then it hit me that, at 13 years old, bed times and getting carried on shoulders are just things that are drifting further into the past.

Parenting, I’m learning, is a long series of small endings.

For me, training has always felt a bit like the nighttime routine. Sure, there are rare occasions where I don’t feel like doing it or can’t wait for it to be over. But most of the time I consider it one of the best hours of my day. Where I get to feel strong and test my capabilities. Where I get to work towards something positive and experience those results. And the chance to be around other like-minded people who I enjoy and motivate me.

But, from what I can tell, for a lot of people this is flipped.

Sure, there are days when the sun is shining and they got 11 hours of sleep and it’s payday and we are bench pressing and they feel great about spending an hour or so on the training floor.

But more often it’s a grind. Something they have to do so they can check it off the list. A bit of medicine that they realize they should take but would be happy to skip.

I cannot fundamentally change how you or anyone feels about the gym. Believe me, I’ve tried.

I still spend countless hours developing programs that will be not only effective but engaging. I’ve created really great facilities with ideal layouts, none of the typical gym crowds and a fun training atmosphere. I’ve had my hand in developing trainers who approach their jobs with passion and empathy and expertise. And I’ve tried to do it all in a way where the value felt very high.

But even with all that in place so many people still view training as a chore. Fair enough. Like I said, I can’t change the way you feel.

Just like with the bedtime routine there will be a day when the PRs stop coming. Where the mobility and explosiveness will start to deteriorate. And, at the risk of sounding morose, be the last time you step in a gym.

And though you may not see it now, you will miss it. And you’ll tell everyone stories about how you used to bench 315 or got a sub-7 minute 2k row and laid on the floor for 20 minutes afterwards. Maybe they’ll care, maybe they won’t.But it will give you a moment of pride, knowing what you were able to do.

And you will miss it.

Maybe not as much as you miss your 5 year old son cuddling into his bed while you sing him Johnny Cash.

But you will miss it.

Tom Waits was right.

The moments you want to freeze are the ones you only realize mattered after they’re gone.

This line was my introduction to David Goggins.

Goggins, if you are unaware, is a former Navy Seal, Army Ranger, Wildland Firefighter, ultramarathoner, pull-up record holder, author and motivational speaker. He has become the epitome of the “success is actualized by hard work and personal sacrifice” ethos.

Goggins’ mission in life is to essentially help you realize what a weak bitch you really are. Cancelling a scheduled run because of a dangerous hail storm or quitting a competition because of something as inconsequential as debilitating blisters or a broken bone are cardinal sins in the world of Goggins.

Some may agree with Goggins (at least to an extent) and some bristle at his extreme version of hustle culture, but his statement about 40% does hold some scientific merit.

In one study, lifters were asked to stop when they thought they had reached their 10-rep max.

On average, they could have done about 10 more reps.

Essentially, when they thought they were cooked and couldn’t complete even one more rep when they got to 10 reps was, in reality, 10 reps short of their actual capability.

And, as a society, I’d say that’s true. I can’t tell you how many gym-goers I’ve seen quit a set just as the challenge and efficacy started.

This is not a small deal. Approaching actual failure is a key component of the progressive overload system and is a big driver of strength and muscle building outcomes.

But I’m not looking to be a substitute Goggins here. Yelling at you to do one more rep and “stay hard” while you bleed from your eye balls.

Because while I do think that 90% of people do not push their training hard enough, there are 10% of people who push too hard. Who believe that a training session is not complete or effective if they’ve done anything short of absolutely obliterating themselves.

Their indicator of success is if they need a gurney to get from the gym floor back to their car.

Workouts can be divided up into many categories but for the purposes of simplicity and (thank God!) brevity, I’m going to stick to two: training and performing.

Performing is reserved for testing capabilities in important lifts or skills or conditioning milestones in order to establish a benchmark. It is important to know what your best abilities are from time to time because that information can really inform training.

Knowing what percentage of a maximal lift is on the bar or what pace you are holding relative to your best is a great way to manage your training load. And you can’t use those numbers if you don’t test them and know them.

Performing is also appropriate in actual competition and sport. If you are at a powerlifting meet or CrossFit competition or Hyrox or whatever, the goal there is to put up your best effort and experience the culmination of all your training.

It's less about technique and more about outcomes.

Training, on the other hand, involves building the skills, volume, techniques, strength qualities and energy systems that contribute to performance.

A set of 10 Back Squats at 65% of your one repetition maximum, when combined with other training, will ultimately increase your one repetition maximum.

This is just how training works. Submaximal efforts have to be part of the equation. They are what allow for joint integrity, increase in muscle mass and allow you to accumulate the volume that is necessary for adaptations.

Going all out all the time leads to injury risk, increases time required to recover and can often result in burn out and a decreased desire to train.

If you are looking for an equation to balance all of this, I would argue that you want very easy workouts less than 20% of the time. 70% of your workouts should be challenging but allow you to develop skill and capability and stack volume. You might be sore from them but you shouldn’t wake up the next day feeling like you got hit by a Buick. The final 10% can be saved for performance. Those days where you need to perform (because you have a game or a fight or an event or a maximal test scheduled) or the rare instances where you feel like you can’t be stopped and want to push the envelope a bit further than prescribed.

What you want to avoid is being someone who’s workouts are so easy that they never feel challenging or being the person who is trying to end their life with every rep, set and effort. These people live on opposite ends of the same coin. And that coin is submaximal results.

To bring this back to Goggins, there is definitely a risk in believing you’ve put in a Herculean effort when, in reality, you’ve barely broken a sweat. Again, that’s where most people are.

And these people could use a bit more Goggins in their training. A few of us over-correct and create other problems. But the real smart training lands somewhere in the middle.

I feel the need to start there because, often, when I tell a story about a family member, they have passed.

But even though my Uncle is in his mid-80s, as I write this he is alive and does paint-by-numbers in his home in Long Island and goes out dancing with my Aunt Miriam once per week.

I know, it’s all very sweet.

I was recently thinking about where my love and obsession with storytelling all began and I think it may have started with my Uncle.

He had rightfully gained the reputation as someone who really knew how to tell a story and I have early memories of him talking about his wild childhood adventures while he sat on a couch and my brother and cousins gathered at his feet.

It was an interesting paradox. I, in no way, wanted attention as a child. But I was captivated by the power being a good storyteller could possess.

This has slowly but very prominently worked its way into my daily work.

My staff can attest to how I will often start meetings with a story as they wait patiently for me to slowly get to my point.

These very blogs are filled with stories of my childhood or recent events or, yes, dead relatives. If I just stuck to reps and sets and protein intake and the Krebs Cycle you all would have, rightfully, unsubscribed years ago.

A less obvious place where story plays an important role is in our training programs.

When Kyle and I design the program you might think we instantly default into meathead mode. And while we do put a lot of emphasis into exercise selection and strength qualities and energy systems and bench angles and everything else that awaits our clients when they step through the door, we start every program by discussing its story.

We have limited equipment in our gym and we stick to what some would argue is a relatively narrow selection of exercises. This could be seen as a limitation but we’d argue it’s actually what allows us to drive the best results.

But in order to keep people engaged and, most importantly, keep people coming back, the training has to be psychologically engaging and be anchored in a story about what it is, where it is going and what it can deliver.

We typically start by looking at the previous program. What would physiologically make sense coming off of what we’ve just done.

Equally important is to assess the needs of the community. What did we see in the previous program that needs to be addressed.

This starts to shape the narrative. To paraphrase the title of one of my favorite short stories by the great writer (and fellow Syracuse alum!) Joyce Carol Oates, we take a look at where you are going and where you have been.

Now that we have a destination and what we need, we next take a look at what will get us there. What are the movements that will help us accomplish these outcomes? How do we structure them in a way that adheres to the basic principles of exercise science?

Next comes the system of scoring. How can we turn this into a game that has a scorecard, whether that’s reps or weights or paces or something else, that can be referred to and beaten week over week?

As Bruce Springsteen once said, it’s hard to write a bad song if you have a great title. So after all the details are laid out we name each program in a way that ideally expresses its intent in just a few short words.

And after all of that is done and the little training details and week-over-week progressions are laid out we actually create a written story about what the program is designed to deliver and how each section intends to deliver it. This goes beyond the numbers and delivers something much more important - why we are asking you to do what we are asking you to do.

When we are at our highest and best, we’ll create an accompanying video that explains the purpose and intention and expectations for the next four weeks.

While this may sound like one of those NBC crime dramas that my wife likes to binge watch on Peacock, we have actually had trainers from other gyms sign up for trials in order to get insight into how we do things. But even though they can steal the template, that doesn’t get to the core of why it works.

But whenever this does happen, our members and, more typically, our staff get upset. They worry that we put so much time and effort into creating the program and it's execution that someone shouldn't be able to just come in and shortcut the process.

What they fail to see is that what we goes beyond something that can be stolen. In fact, it cannot be replicated at all.

Just like my Uncle Isaac or Joyce Carol Oates or any of the great storytellers out there, it only works because those people have lived or written those stories.

And the story of our programs and our gyms and our coaches and our community, those are only ours to tell.

Is that bad to admit?

Are they going to revoke my meathead status or my eligibility for the official Barbell Hall Of Fame with this confession?

Listen, the movie has everything.

An audition scene featuring Kelly Clarkson’s “Since You Been Gone”.

A group acapella version of what might be the best song of the 90’s, “No Diggity”, done in a strangely vacant and even more strangely gigantic empty swimming pool (?) as part of a ritualistic battle known as a “riff off”.

You have gross-out humor with the puking scene.

You have, quite frankly, more great looking college women than even exist at Arizona State.

And you have a love story wrapped up in an homage to the greatest teen movie of all time, The Breakfast Club.

Does this movie have problems? Yes.

I don’t know how it’s possible to not have on screen chemistry with Anna Kendrick but somehow the person they cast as her Dad is an absolute dud. And the Rebel Wilson “Fat Amy” shtick gets tired very quickly.

But, other than those small nitpicks, it’s pretty much the perfect rewatchable. I stopped counting how many times I’ve seen it at roughly 300.

Once you get past the song montages, the hot chicks and the even-though-he’s-supposed-to-be-annoying-he-still-might-be-too annoying Bumper character, this movie is really about one thing. Growth.

Kendrick’s Becca is trying to grow beyond her loner, introverted status and actually form relationships.

The girls are all trying to bond and grow together as a team.

And, perhaps most importantly, the head of the Bellas - Aubrey - finally grows out of some tired traditions and allows Becca to take the team in a more modern direction. Which (spoiler alert) leads to them winning the team acapella competition which occurs at the climax of the movie.

See, I told you. What’s not to love?!?!

If you can’t learn deep lessons about the training floor from a movie about some rag-tag college kids who sing without the help of instruments, I don’t know where you can learn them from.

And this idea of growth in your training is what I want to bring to your attention here.

We (and by “we” I mean “me’) often harp on the necessity of training to be, of course, progressive, but also remarkably repetitive. The principles of exercise science lay within a fairly narrow window. Tried-and-true exercises are really limited to about a dozen or so contenders. Joints tend to move in limited ranges and muscles act on those joints in predictable ways. There isn’t a ton of guess work or variety needed.

But that doesn’t mean your training won’t grow as your training career progresses.

Most people tend to start with machines, whether resistance-based or, like me, cardio machines such as treadmills or ellipticals. And this is smart. Machines are reliable and tend to have a low learning curve.

Stick with it long enough and you will find your way to the basics of free weight training. You’ll learn that deadlifts and squats and incline dumbbell bench presses are going to be the foundation of a program that gets you stronger and in better shape than you could ever have imagined.

Do those long enough and you won’t be able to help but get experimental. You’ll try advanced programs in an effort to reignite the progress you saw early on but is now slower to come by.

Or you’ll get involved in strength or endurance-based events such as Olympic weightlifting or CrossFit or Hyrox or half marathons and your training will become more performance-based.

As you get bigger and stronger and faster you will begin the need to optimize for recovery both in the workouts and outside of them. Rest periods will become longer. Training frequency may need to decrease. Maintaining your joints becomes as important as increasing your muscle mass.

And, finally, it will likely all come back around. You’ll stop chasing massive progress and just become someone who is in it for the long haul. And, ironically, you’ll go back to the basics. Likely landing in a combination of machine and free weight training. But now with a great depth and focus and understanding of how every rep can affect your body.

You will go from newbie to science-based overthinker to an artist who intuitively understands their body.

This is growth.

The Beatles early records were composed of very basic melodies and even more basic chord structures that were the foundation of early rock and roll. And not only is it because these songs are catchy, it was also at the limit of their abilities at the time.

But as they grew as song writers and artists and musicians, their music became much more experimental. You can look at Sgt. Peppers or The White Album and see that the concepts of these albums are strange and atypical, which is what makes the Beatles such an important and well-loved band.

Then, in their last two albums, they seem to abandon this slightly. They go more within themselves and go back to the basics, but now with a greater mastery and understanding of what is possible. And this is what makes those albums my favorite by the band.

A return to basics with a clear understanding of how it’s all done and what is possible.

And that is the goal of training. It’s not where you start. It’s likely not even where you are. But it is where you want to get to.

Number one: I travel back in time where I visit Hollywood (or wherever it is they actually shoot television shows) and pick up my girlfriend Valerie Bertinelli off the set of “One Day At A Time” and we spend a lovely day together. I’m also probably an expert guitar player in this alternate reality and start a world-famous band in So Cal.

I guess when I look at it that way, I basically become Eddie Van Halen.

Hey, I said it was fantasy.

Number two: I get into a Knicks game for 30 seconds and bury a long distance three. If that’s not possible I would simply accept shooting around for 15 minutes on the floor at MSG.

I haven’t shot a basketball in years but my 15 year old self would pretty much think I had become the coolest person who ever lived. And your high school-self is really who you should aim to impress.

Number three: I get featured on Body By Mark.

For those of you who don’t know, Body By Mark is an Instagram account (maybe it’s originally a Tik Tok account but as you can tell from the Valerie Bertinelli crush above, I am too old for Tik Tok). This guy Mark (who we never see) goes up to people on the street, on the beach, in the gym or at fitness competitions and asks them what they’ve done to get so jacked.

Simply, Mark sees a jacked dude or a ripped lady and starts asking them questions about their workout routines.

Number of push-ups, what supplements they take, whether they drink booze - you know, the stuff we all care about.

The whole thing lasts about 45 seconds.

I’ve started walking the streets in a tank top after a pump sesh (even though it’s been about -300 degrees in NYC for about 9 months now) just in the hopes of getting approached.

Recently I saw Mark feature a guy who was definitely not in NYC cause his shirt was off and there were palm trees in the background and he had a happy disposition that could not be achieved by anyone who has spent their morning traversing the slushy ice lakes that seem to occupy every street corner crossing at the moment.

They got to talking and this guy revealed that he mostly does calisthenics and works out a couple of times per day. So Mark asks him what he does for work that allows him to work out this much. The guy takes a quick pause and says “he is being taken care of by God” which is an amazing answer.

I too feel like I am being taken care of by God, however God has not seen his way to making my car payment.

And I get the feeling that there are more of you out there like me than like this blessed gentleman. And you probably spend more of your days making meals for your kids and working on spreadsheets than you do in the Miami sunshine for two 90 minute training sessions per day.

Which, of course, isn’t ideal but I do have some good news for you. Even if God isn’t paying your bills, you can still get very effective, results-driven training in a more constrained time frame.

In fact, I would argue that two to three hours per week is all you need to get the results that will make you happy and the envy of everyone at your high school reunion. Can you play like Ronaldo or be fitness competition lean with that amount of training? Probably not. But you can get about 85% of the way there and be in better health, have better body composition and be more capable than nearly all of your peers.

Seriously.

But, this will not happen simply by showing up at the gym, snuggling with a foam roller for 20 minutes, walking on the treadmill while you scroll social media because you just “have” to know what the Bieber’s wore to dinner last night (Hailey looked incredible, Justin looked homeless) or half-assing it on whatever machines are available.

In fact, you will need exactly three things to ensure that you can get maximum results in minimum time.

The first is a plan.

You aren’t experienced enough in training to just wing it every time you go into the gym. I don’t care if you’ve been training for 20 minutes or 20 years, you will not just intuitively create a roadmap to success for yourself by making up workouts every time you get your hands on a barbell.

Experience counts for a lot in the gym. It will allow you to ingrain movement patterns and give you a sense of what your capabilities and limitations are. But that is not a substitute for a well-suited, goal-oriented program. In fact, the more seasoned you are, the more critical the plan is. When you are new, everything works. When you have been training for a while, you need to be precise to continue moving the needle.

With that being said, don’t get cocky, newbies. You are also going to want to have a plan so you don’t injure yourselves and you get the most efficient and effective training possible. Sure, everything and anything will work, but some things work better than others.

Number two on our list is training with intensity.

Intensity can be defined in many ways on the gym floor (percentage of your 1RM or number of reps in reserve to name just two) but what we are talking about here is the very non-technical intensity of effort.

If you are only going to be in the gym for 2 or 3 hours per week, you must train your boobs off the entire time (this still applies even if you don’t have boobs). Training must be challenging. Uncomfortable, even. You must be near the edge of your limits to make the stimulus count and to adapt from it.

So if you walk out of the gym thinking “Huh, wonder what I’m gonna watch on Netflix when I get back to my apartment,” rather than, “Jesus H. Christ I have no idea how I am going to stay upright long enough to make it across the street,” you are probably taking it too easy.

Don’t feel bad. Most people take it too easy. Most people don’t make progress.

Lastly, you must stay consistent.

Like I said, 2-3 sessions per week can work really well. But it also means that you can’t miss days or weeks regularly.

Adaptation comes when you stack wins. Putting in the hours week over week for months or, God forbid, years at a time will allow you to see remarkable gains in strength, performance and aesthetics. But if your training has more stops and starts than a NASCAR race in a hurricane, you are always going to feel like you are starting over (probably because you are always starting over).

And that’s why I’ll be ready when my day comes. If Body By Mark were walking down the street during t-shirt weather and we crossed paths, he wouldn’t be able to get the camera up fast enough.

Not because of anything I did that day.

But because of the plan, the intensity, and the thousands of ordinary sessions that came before it.

Sure, I can start there. The lady at the bus stop talks about the weather and the barista at the Starbucks talks about the weather and I engage in kind.

“Yes, it is cold!”

“Ha, true. My eyeballs are also freezing.”

But three sentences in and I’m talking about whether or not the angels sing above us and people, rightfully, get uncomfortable.

The early stages of everything can feel a little uneasy and be rather hard.

Conversations, relationships, learning an instrument and, you guessed it, training can often get off to a rough start.

We are not alone in this. Even the greats start off slow and awkward. I bet Taylor Swift’s first few songs weren’t exactly “Blank Space”. Michael Jordan famously got cut from his varsity basketball team. We’ve all seen Bieber’s bowl haircut on the cover of People magazine in 2005.

But, the flip side is also true. Motivation is super high in the beginning.

You wake up, sit on the edge of your bed and are convinced in no time you will be the next Joni Mitchell or Arnold Schwarzenegger or, at the very least, have hair as cool as Elvis.

So you get to work. You learn your first few chords or you actually get to the gym three times per week and you start to grow out your bangs and you are on your way.

But then it inevitably happens. You hit a point I like to call “The Dead Zone”.

The Dead Zone isn’t a horror movie (although maybe it also is) though it can be equally unnerving when you are in it. You’ve committed. You’ve spent some time and some money and you are pretty sure you must be doing something wrong because you still aren’t where you want to be.

Your fingers are still clumsy when changing chords. Your bangs are now in that awkward stage and you look less “rocker cool” and more “page boy trapped in the British feudal system”.

Sure, you’re lifting heavier weights. And you can walk up a flight of stairs without having to look around for an AED machine, but you look less like Arnold and perhaps more like a slightly scrawnier version of your two month-ago self.

And this is where most people quit. They convince themselves it’s never going to happen for them. This moment is so popular in the world of fitness there are memes about it.

“Quitters Day” which occurs two weeks after New Year's Day.

The often paraphrased “all these newbies will be out of the gym and it will be back to normal by mid-February”.

These are cliches because, sadly, they are true.

But here is the other thing that is true, nearly everything in life - particularly the worthwhile things - take longer than we hope they would.

But just because you aren’t totally shredded or a virtuoso doesn’t mean nothing is happening. In fact, plenty happens before you recognize it.

Behind the scenes, muscle is being gained. Myelin is getting laid down on your nerves and your movements are getting more intuitive. And these things will reveal themselves if you just stick with them a bit longer.

And that is the real trick. To keep the training going when it seems like nothing is happening. To keep practicing when everything feels clunky and non-musical. And to keep the conversation going beyond the small talk until you get to something real and vulnerable.

Everything in your mind might tell you to stop. That it is only human to experiment with something new. To start over, yet again, in the hopes of finding something that might actually work.

But experience and knowledge proves that what you are doing are the things that actually allow you to progress. It’s how Arnold and Chuck Berry and all the others got to where they wanted to go.

You are going to want to stop.

But the secret doesn’t lie in doing something different. The answer is to just grit your teeth and keep moving.

“Jesus Christ, Dan. You are just going right for it and starting with the dead grandparent in sentence one?!?”

Simply, yes.

The irony of burying my grandfather on Groundhog’s Day is that it was his favorite holiday.

Just as “The Muppet Show” was his favorite thing to watch on television.

These two facts alone should tell you a lot about my grandfather, but they wouldn’t come close to revealing the entire picture.

He laughed constantly. An infectious laugh that was uniquely his own.

He always greeted us by saying “Hello, young people!” regardless of how old you were and asked how things were wherever you were traveling from.

He was also a man of remarkable routine.

He would arrive at work at 7AM, operate his machine for precisely three and a half hours, then take a thirty minute break to eat exactly the same thing and read two newspapers (never trusting that he’d get the entire story from just one).

He sat in the same dinner seat. Sat on the same couch seat. Watched the same programs. Wore the same hat and tie to holiday meals. Took the same two week vacation back to his home country to visit his relatives and drove the same roads to-and-from work.

And, he did this for roughly 70 years. Same house. Same wife. Same life.

Now, for many of you, this sounds like a nightmare. How can anyone feel content doing the same exact shit day after day, year after year for seemingly an eternity?

But here’s the crazy thing, my grandfather seemed remarkably content living this way. One of the happiest people I’ve ever known.

The things that most people chase today, he would find them silly. Who needs a fancier car? Who needs a bigger house? I’ve got the same sized ass, sitting on the same sized couch.

Now, this isn’t a rally cry to count your blessings or never strive for anything more in your life. I don’t know that I necessarily agree with that.

But there is magic in sticking to the same routine and going very, very deep down a path of repetition.

It allowed my grandfather to be very connected to everything he valued.

And it’s what will allow you to make progress in the gym.

Showing up at the same days and at the same times. Mastering the same exercises rather than chasing variety. Logging your weights consistently. These mundane and repetitive traits are what will ultimately lead to the greatest success in the gym.

And, yes, of course things need to progress. And, yes, there is a time to introduce new things and even experiment a bit. But just like my grandfather’s 10:30AM bagel with butter, most aspects of your training should be reliable for years.

Sean was desperate to get back into the military. He had done a tour of service, got into the private sector, realized he missed it and was hoping to take one last shot at reenlisting.

Problem was, he was about 270lbs which did not sit very well on his five foot, six inch frame and was above the military maximum for active duty. So he came to me for nutrition help back when I was offering such a thing.

It was pretty simple. Based purely on where he was and where he wanted to go I devised a two day meal plan. He was to alternate between these days and, in about 6 weeks, we’d reassess, make adjustments and continue the process.

At the first assessment, things looked good. He’d lost 9 pounds which was perfect for the time frame. We decided to stick to the plan and reassess in another 6 weeks.

But Sean disappeared. He didn’t return texts. He didn’t show up for his appointment. I figured he’d just given this entire ‘get back into the military’ some second thought and decided to drop it.

I’d just about forgotten Sean’s name 5 years later when he reached back out. He still had his sights set on rejoining the military. He wanted to know if I would meet up and see if I could help.

When he walked in, I couldn’t believe it. If it wasn’t for him greeting me with his very distinct Brooklyn accent I don’t think I would have recognized him.

He’d lost 115 pounds.

“Sean, you look great. What have you been doing for nutrition since we worked together?” I asked.

“What do you mean,” he replied somewhat confused.

“I’ve been doing what you told me.”

Turns out that Sean had followed that two day meal plan that I gave him, without fail, for five years.

And that’s when it clicked for me.

Sean didn’t need motivation. He didn’t need novelty or a better plan.

He just needed the same two days over and over again.

Which is probably why my grandfather loved Groundhog’s Day so much.

For him, his life was like the movie.. The same scenes, the same lines, the same day on repeat.

But my grandfather saw something else.

There is comfort in knowing what comes next. There is power in choosing it anyway.

For seventy years, he woke up and lived the same day, not because he was stuck, but because he was anchored.

And in the end, that sameness didn’t make his life smaller. It made it full.

Progress doesn’t come from the big, dramatic changes we swear will “finally do it.”

It comes from deciding to show up tomorrow. And then doing it again the next day.

Even if it feels boring. Even if it looks unimpressive. Even if no one is watching.

Especially then.

While she is very supportive of my obsession with fitness, she prefers when these Monday morning blogs start with some heart warming story about my grandparents or, surprisingly enough, a hot take. Like why Jujy Fruits are the best movie theater candy.

(My argument: they are delicious and stick to your teeth for about 7 hours so you continue to “enjoy” them way after the movie is over.)

In fact, I think she wishes it would start, continue and end with me having barely mentioned a back squat or biceps curl.

But I am who I am. And while this might be slightly jarring for all involved, I’m going to jump right into the fitness.

When speaking to many of you on the phone, particularly those of you who currently go to the gym and follow a program, that program is most often push-pull-legs.

For those of you non-exercise scientists who might not have Huberman on speed dial or know the difference between pronation and supination (gasp!), push-pull-legs is a three day training cycle with one day focused on upper body “pulling” exercises (such as pull ups and rows), one day focused on upper body “pushing” exercises (such as bench press and dips) and one day that focuses on, you guessed it, legs.

OK, I certainly have lost my wife by now. Which is a shame because I’m going to pivot slightly from the meathead nerdy talk onto a different type of push and pull.

And that is the push and pull of life. Or perhaps more specifically, the push and pull of the people in your life.

I know, I know. I’m already at the risk of going from too gym bro to too Socrates, but stick with me and I think we’ll find the middle ground.

Internal desires often start with a pull.

You shoot straight up in the middle of the night and, you decide for some reason, that you really, really, really want to fulfill your life’s desire of learning the saxophone.

It seemingly comes out of nowhere. Sure, you’ve found yourself closing your eyes when listening to Clarence Clemons “Jungleland” solo on the bus to work. And you did, somewhat mysteriously, have that Kenny G poster up on your wall for a brief time when you were 14. But this is mostly a sudden and crazy and unstoppable idea that will now not let you sleep.

So you get on the computer and you start searching for local sax instructors. Realizing that there isn’t one within 30 miles you start looking into online courses. Within a week you’ve spent more money than you are comfortable with on a starter sax. Your wife wonders why a chair and music stand have suddenly made their way into the corner of the living room. Your neighbors start making multiple complaints to the HOA.

When you are being pulled towards something, the desire is there but everything feels like an uphill battle. No one understands why you are doing this. Your wife is upset her sleep is interrupted. You let it slip in a meeting that you’ve taken up the instrument and you are now exclusively referred to as “Saxy Stu” in the office.

You feel alone and lacking the support and, at best, feeling a little silly or, at worst, feeling like you’re a weirdo who has made a terrible decision.

But you stick with it and things change. All of a sudden you can play the Rocky theme which earns you favor with your father-in-law as it’s his favorite movie. Your parents buy you a really nice sax stand for the holidays. Your wife has stopped wearing headphones around the house.

You find other sax-loving friends. They tell you about an opening in a wedding band and all of a sudden you are spending every other Saturday at the Acropolis Catering Hall playing 80s hits. People go wild when you play the intro to “Careless Whisper”.

You’ve gone from being pulled to being pushed. You’ve received the support of your loved ones. You’ve found equally obsessed peers. Saxy Stu becomes the hero of the office. You feel a lot more like yourself.

My personal fitness journey started with a lot of pull. I decided I wanted to get in shape for my wedding. That I was tired of being in the body I was in.

But I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t know the difference between a carbohydrate and a carburetor. As a guy, I felt like I was supposed to just be genetically and intuitively blessed with a deep knowledge of how things worked at the gym. But when I stepped onto those rubber mats for the first time, the only machine I knew how to work was the scale.

Which, was not the most encouraging way to start, by the way.

My family, not really gym people, couldn’t really offer much help. My friends didn’t get why I wasn’t showing up to “all you can eat rib” night. I got a curious look from the dog when I decided to go out for a run rather than lay down for our regular afternoon nap.

But the people in my life caught on.

Slowly, my family began to understand that I was just going to eat fruit and not birthday cake. The big guys in the gym were finally convinced I wasn’t going anywhere and helped me with technique and form and taught me how things worked. Even to this day when I haven’t gone to the gym in a couple of days, my wife encourages me to go so I don’t start stomping around the house in a bad mood for no reason. I’ve built my life around being surrounded by training partners.

When you start off on something new, you are often going to feel the pull. And pulling is hard. You want it before the world is ready to support it.

But if you stick with it long enough, you will start to feel the push. And those hands on your back helping you up the hill will feel different. The people in your life will start to accept this new you. Because they love you and they want to support you, even when they don’t fully understand. And new, likeminded people will find you and you will find them. And because you share the love of the sax or the gym or anime or whatever, they will love you too.

And isn’t that kind of the whole point. To do the things you love surrounded by people who love it and love you too?

Wrestlers seemed tough. No one fucked with them. And they were shredded.

This sounded like a recipe that would take me from sweet but pudgy dough boy to confident and chiseled bad ass. Which certainly would get the attention of the one thing I cared about, girls.

What I didn’t fully appreciate was the weight cutting.

Dropping several pounds in a short period of time is not only unhealthy, it also makes you hungry. Which, ironically, makes you completely uninterested in girls which, as you recall, is why I signed up for this in the first place.

Then, as competition grows closer, you try to drop additional weight by not drinking. It’s funny how quickly you stop thinking about hunger when you haven’t had water in two days.

And then, in my first match, a much more experienced wrestler from a rival high school tossed me onto my back, knocked the wind out of me, and suddenly breathing was the only thing that mattered.

I quickly decided wrestling was probably not for me.

People want things.

Sex is one of them. So is food. Sleep. Air. Water.

But here’s the part that matters, you only get to care about the higher-level wants if the basics are already handled.

No one is thinking about sex when they can’t breathe. No one is fantasizing about a great meal when they haven’t had water in two days. Strip away the fundamentals and everything else disappears fast.

Desire is a luxury. It only shows up when survival is already taken care of.

That hierarchy applies to a lot more than biology.

Training has a similar, but much more voluntary, hierarchy.

If you don’t follow this order of training priorities you are not likely to die or get arrested. However if you want to get the most out of the time you dedicate to your health and fitness, it would be well worth it to adhere to this ranking.

(Quick caveat before the haters email me: I’m not including anything about nutrition, sleep, recovery, stress management or relationships here. But, of course, they are huge pieces of the puzzle.)

Top of the list, number one with a bullet, absolute non-negotiable regardless of your goals is strength training. And I would recommend anywhere from two to three hours per week for most people who want to stay reasonably strong, healthy, live longer and maintain good body composition.

I realize this is “based” as the kids say (at least I think that’s what the kids say) but I’m not making this your top priority simply because I own strength-focused training gyms or because I am a dyed-in-the-wool (a term that kids certainly are not saying) meathead.

Turns out that resistance training is a great way to maintain good body composition, hormonal health, bone density and balance while promoting longevity and contributing to essentially every other strength quality, energy system and performance goal you might have.

So if you want to be a runner, a football player, a Dad who can chase around their toddler or a grandma who can still make all the old timers turn their heads in the nursing home, strength training is a positive contributor.

Of course, you can do more. But most people will get the majority of their results from two to three very structured and relatively intense sessions per week. It’s essential for anyone.

The next is cardiovascular or endurance training. Ideally one to two hours per week of fairly intense cardio through running, rowing, tennis playing, sled pushing, cross country skiing or whatever else gets your heart rate up is going to lower your risk of disease and contribute to your general stamina.

Even if you are, say, a recreational competitive powerlifter, cardiovascular conditioning will help you. While you only perform each of the lifts for seconds, a powerlifting meet is a long day filled with managing your energy. Having some level of cardiovascular conditioning will help.

If you are unable to perform cardio at any level of intensity, daily walks of 8,000 steps or more will suffice as a good substitution.

Last on the hierarchy, anything physical that you enjoy. It can be rock climbing or Zumba classes or yoga or more running or whatever. All of that contributes to your health and fitness and, more importantly, your joy. And joy is undervalued these days.

And you can overindex on the things you like. You can Zumba for 9 hours per week and strength train for only two. That’s fine. But you need to get the strength training in.

Many people will want to fight me on this. Like literally fight me. I mean I was just in the Starbucks and a dude punched me in the arm for seemingly no reason. But I know this blog was his motivation.

Powerlifters will argue that cardio is meaningless. Runners will argue that, for them, cardio should be higher up than strength.

And, listen, this used to be a free country so I encourage you to do whatever you believe is right for you. But I stand by this list.

Strength training is the foundation that primes your body for anything else you want to do and is the biggest training-based driver of health, function and performance.

And cardiovascular training will help you stay alive and endure nearly anything you want to accomplish.

Doing the things you love should be the goal of any training program (and, life, really) so you want to make time for those things as well.

But practicing your yoga while ignoring your strength training is like trying to have sex without being able to breathe. Sure, it sounds like fun but probably not worth the risk.

It could very well have been in the Golden State near LA or Orange County or in Silicon Valley. But we would just as easily have believed that the name was a misdirect and the gym was actually on Mars or in the magical land of Oz.

Today, California Strength is known for two things. The first is sending weightlifters to the Olympics. The second is for preparing NFL prospects for the combine (which is simply a series of strength, speed and agility tests).

But long before we started The Fort, California Strength was known as a place where you trained Olympic weightlifting in small groups, in relative obscurity and like your life depended on it.

They were also the first gym, as far as I know, to record their training sessions, edit them and put them up on YouTube.

Whenever CalStrength posted a new video, the first person to notice would text the rest of the devoted group of meatheads and we would all stop what we were doing to watch.

There was a lot to glean from watching those training sessions.

The first is that, while you may be one of the strongest guys in your gym, there are much, much stronger people out there.

The second is that good training isn’t fancy. Here were a bunch of shirtless guys in sweatpants purchased from the bargain bin at Modell’s, their knees wrapped with old Ace bandages just putting their all into every lift.

The last, and perhaps most eye opening to us, was that everyone trained on the same program.

You see, we were working at a premium personal training facility in the heart of Manhattan. And we believed that part of a premium service (and, really, the heart of any good program) should involve customization.

I mean, how could each one of these athletes reach their goals if they were all doing the same thing? What about working on their weaknesses? What about mobility limitations and specific activations? What about, at the very least, getting to use your favorite barbell in the gym?

But what became clear from watching those videos is that camaraderie, the training atmosphere and the friendly competition that came from everyone following the same training program was far more beneficial than having one athlete box squat while the other did deadlifts.

We are taught that customization is king.

And that may be true when it comes to the rims on your brand new Camaro or on your stuffed frog wearing a tie-dyed shirt and holding a magic wand that you made at Build-A-Bear.

But when it comes to training, very (VERY!) few people need customized programming.

“Wha, wha, what?????? How can that be?” you ask.

Before I answer, let me start with a few, very important things.

You absolutely should be following a program. Programs give you structure and a means by which to progress. They are absolutely essential to your success in the gym and, if you aren’t following one, you are going to plateau in short order (if you haven’t already).

And, to be fair, some people should follow very specific, specialized, custom programs. If you are dealing with a major orthopedic issue or you are a scholarship athlete or you are vying for an Olympic spot in your chosen sport, you might qualify.

But, allow me to take a wild guess here, you are going to the gym to:

* Get stronger * Increase your cardiovascular capabilities * Improve your body composition (more muscle, less fat) * Get healthier * Move well and improve athletic performance

These are what we would call general fitness outcomes (they are also what about 98% of people go to the gym for) and as long as your program uses the tools that drive these outcomes and is structured appropriately and progresses systematically, you are almost guaranteed to achieve them.

Sure, a customized program can also produce all those things. But what it can’t do is drive the excitement, commitment and unity that comes with executing the same program as those around you. And that is huge.

Imagine if you are in a group setting, or even a regular open gym, and Kathy is performing single arm dumbbell rows while Sydney is about to attempt a deadlift PR, Ethan is about to tackle a 2k row and you are in the corner doing rehab exercises.

You are never going to be as engaged in the training as if you were all going for your deadlift PR or you all were feeling the nervous anticipation of starting a 2k row. In fact, as you perform your third set of dowel rod shoulder mobilizations you're probably going to look around the gym and wonder why you aren’t doing what everyone else is doing. At worst you are going to wonder if they have the secret, magical program that actually works. At best you are going to feel left out of the fun and excitement.

Kyle and I started by applying the California Strength method with ourselves. Every day, around lunch time, we’d get together a small group of trainers and all run the same program. A huge divergence from us all doing our own thing.

Within minutes, I was having the most fun I’ve ever had in the gym. Within months, I was in the best shape of my life. This insight became one of the pillars of how we built The Fort.

And this is why you should be cautious of wanting to be a special, custom programmed snowflake in the fiery cauldron that is the gym.

Like that Camaro, you may feel more special with those one-of-a-kind rims. But, somehow, you aren’t going to get to where you want to go any faster. And the drive is going to be a lot less fun.

Number 5:

Celine: “Baby, you’re gonna miss that plane.”

Jesse: “I know.”

Starting this one on a romantic note for all you lovers out there. This one comes from “Before Sunset” (Hot take: this is a far superior romance movie than “The Notebook”) and not only is it a great finish in and of itself, it also redeems the ending of the first movie (“Before Sunrise”) which was a bit frustrating.

Number 4:

Truman: “And if I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night.”

The Truman Show is one of my favorite movies of all time. And the decision to end it by calling back this bit of dialogue not only perfectly encapsulates Truman’s new found growth and awareness, it also has you crying and cheering in your seat.

Number 3:

Dr. Sean Maguire: “Son of a bitch stole my line.”

Apparently this bit of dialogue was ad-libbed by Robin Williams at the end of “Good Will Hunting” which takes it from great to God-tier. The tone and the sentiment perfectly encapsulate the entire movie in one sentence.

Number 2:

Ellis Boyd “Red’ Redding: “I hope I can make it across the border.I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope…”

It’s easy to argue that “hope” is a great theme in any piece of art and Shawshank builds a masterful script around that idea. The fact that it culminates in this monologue while Andy and Red reunite on a beautiful beach just puts it over the top. Absolutely lovely.

The pressure is on.

Not only to deliver the greatest last line in the history of modern cinema, but the pressure is on this entire blog.

You see, this is hitting your inbox on the first Monday after the New Year. And, in the fitness business, the new year is essentially the Super Bowl.

So like a rabbi delivering the sermon on Yom Kippur (the most well-attended synagogue day of the year for those of you not familiar with Judaism) or the groundhog deciding whether or not he saw his shadow on one early February morning, this is the time when I’ll have the most attention.

Which is great, but also leaves me with the important decision of what to create with these 800 words that I deliver to your inbox every Monday morning.

Should I play the hits? Something motivational perhaps.

Or do I take a controversial stance in order to get your attention?

Maybe I go after other fitness brands. Or share a client story. Or, God forbid, another tale from my childhood.

I only get this shot once every 52 weeks.

I asked my therapist what to do and she once again told me that we should really be focusing on the myriad of actual problems I have. So no help there.

Typically, I would zag here. Most people are discussing “x” so I’m gonna talk about “y”. But after much soul searching I decided that I was going to zag from my zag and talk about the one thing that everyone talks about this week, resolutions.

The good news for you is, I don’t have too much to say about them. But in recent years, resolutions have been the subject of much abuse. They have been battered in the storm of hardcore gym culture and people who believe they are only for the weak-minded, non-committed masses who clog the squat racks and treadmills for the first three to six weeks of every year.

Just last year a major fitness brand that I won’t name directly but rhymes with “Equinox” launched a campaign targeted against the resolutioners, vowing not to sign up any new members on New Year’s Day.

A publicity stunt for sure but one that I hope blew up in their faces.

Cause, the truth is, there is never a bad time to work on improving yourself and set out to achieve your fitness and health goals. In fact, this might be the best time.

Unlike every other time of the year where there’s Spring Break and summer travel and seemingly endless weeks of Jewish holidays and wedding season and spooky season and holiday season and mental health days and whatever else keeps us from getting in a rhythm, the stretch between now and Memorial Day is fairly clear of the detours that would keep you out of the gym.

Plus, after countless slices of pecan pie and sitting in traffic or in airports or on smelly, uncomfortable bus seats, your body, mind and soul are probably primed for a change.

So if you find yourself resolving to commit to a gym routine or a nutrition plan or a yoga practice or whatever, don’t let the haters get you down.

And if you are a hater (yup, I’m looking at you “gym that is definitely not named Equinox”) lighten the fuck up. We’ve all done the popular thing at the popular time in our past. It was called high school.

I still owe you the number one last line in a movie and for me it comes at the end of “Rocky II”. For those of you unfamiliar with the plot, Rocky, after losing the first fight to Apollo in a split decision (a detail many people seem to forget and think that Rocky won) decides that he is going to quit fighting for other opportunities.

But there are no other opportunities so he decides he wants a rematch with Apollo which a now pregnant Adrian (his wife) is squarely against. Rocky struggles to train for the fight without Adrian’s support and when she falls into a coma after childbirth he abandons training to be by her side.

When she finally awakens he tells her that if she doesn’t want him to fight anymore he won’t. But Adrian has a change of heart and tells him that the only thing she wants him to do is win.

Cut to one of the greatest training montages of all time and a fight that goes the full 15 rounds with Rocky coming out on top at the last second.

As he holds up the championship belt, his face bruised and bloodied as he talks to the ring announcer post-fight over the PA, he talks about how hard of a fight it was and how after the birth of his son, this is the greatest day in the history of his life.

Then he says he has one last thing to say to his wife who is at home. He lifts up the belt and yells into the microphone, “Yo Adrian. I did it!”

And this can be you. You may not be standing in the Philadelphia Spectrum at the end of a staged fight. There may not even be much support or applause.

But you can be the outlier who pursues their resolution for weeks or months or years until you finally reach your goals.

And you may not have a moment to shout it into a microphone but you can proudly and perhaps emotionally look at yourself in the mirror and say “I did it”.

The first is the treats. The tray of lasagna that your Italian neighbor Margie serves during her holiday party. Those Christmas tree-looking cookies with the red sugar sprinkles on them. The pecan tassies that I will literally make only once a year cause they are kind of a pain in the ass but are my Dad’s absolute favorite.

Not only are they delicious, they are guaranteed to expand your waistline which, selfishly, is pretty good for January business around here.

The second is the energy. You may love the holidays, you might struggle with the holidays. But there is no denying that there is a palpable shift in the air this time of year and when something is different it is also exciting.

Last are the lists. Whether it’s your Spotify Wrapped or the New York Times “12 Things That Will Definitely Kill Us in 12 Months,” you can’t deny that these lists are remarkably readable and will make you optimistic or terrified for the year ahead.

Since my list included lists (how meta!) I’m going to keep up the theme by presenting to you what I consider to be the greatest moments in the history of our gyms.

“But Daaaaaaannnnn, I don’t go to your gym. Why would this matter to me????”

That’s a fair question. Approximately 90% of you who receive this do not attend our gym. And I realize some insider stories about people you don’t know sounds boring and you’d be much better off streaming Taylor Swift’s “1989” for the 11 billionth time on your Monday morning commute.

But even if you don’t know who I am talking about here, I promise there is a point that I will get to at the end of this post.

(How social media of me to pull the “stick around to the end” there. Maybe you can teach an old dog.)

Fair warning. If you’re a loyal and long-time reader you will notice that I have told these stories before. But if my Dad has taught me anything it’s that the older you get the greater the license you have to repeat yourself.

Number 3: Irene

Kyle and I knew Irene from our old gym where she trained with a colleague of ours.

Irene was a big person. About 6 feet tall and struggled with her weight. Her height and size led to a bunch of orthopedic issues and movement limitations. Therefore her approach to her fitness always relied on regressions designed to improve these issues.

Not only did they not work, they left Irene feeling more like a patient and not much like an athlete.

When that facility closed, Irene approached us about joining The Fort and we had an honest conversation early on.

I told her that we’d love to have her and that I thought we could help her but this wasn’t a rehab facility. We were going to start slow, meet her where she was but with the goal of breaking her out of this cycle of being a victim of her own body.

And that’s what we did.

In the beginning her training looked much the same. Squatting to a box instead of working on full range of motion. Altering positions in order to alleviate discomfort.

Progressing anything was a negotiation.

Until one workout which ended with a 50 calorie Assault Bike effort for time.

I was there. I saw it. To this day, I still can’t explain what happened next.. I don’t know if it was the training environment. I don’t know if the set up of the bike alleviated her pain. I don’t know if she just got fed up with her trajectory.

All I know is I didn’t say or do anything. But when the countdown hit 3-2-1 and it was time to start pedaling, the bike immediately started to roar.

Wind filled the room. Irene’s face contorted. Her legs and arms pumped with remarkable speed.

And it didn’t stop. Less than 2 minutes later the bike beeped and the 50 calories were complete.

It was a time that no female has surpassed in our gym to this day.

Irene was never the same. The box was gone on squatting days. Full range of motion was the goal for every movement.

She gained status in the gym. That day she was dubbed Queen Irene. And whether on the bike, the rower or the ski erg, no one was beating her.

Without question training is about making physical progress, but it is most powerful when it changes the way you feel about yourself. When it promotes courage, builds self esteem and gives you belief when you couldn’t find it before.

Number 2: Lauren

When we started the gym we knew quite a bit about training and nearly nothing else.

Every step - opening a bank account, incorporating as an LLC, onboarding a CRM, paying taxes and about a million other things were all new to us.

We sure as shit didn’t have any type of strategy for marketing and attracting new clients. We figured if we had a good product, people would find us.

Now, this turns out to be generally not true. But in the case of Lauren Nowierski we got very lucky.

Previously, Kyle and I had been personal trainers at a gym on the same block that coincidentally was the same as our first Fort location. And we were fortunate that many of those personal training clients came along with us.

But we had no idea how we were going to get new clients.

Until, one day, I get an email from Lauren looking for personal training. I’m still not sure how she got my email address but when I told her I was doing this small group model now she agreed to stop by and take a look.

I met her enthusiastically but was mostly embarrassed by the fact that we were located in a half built, hard to find basement gym that required a tour through winding corridors and a service entrance lined with trash cans.

After explaining the training ideology, showing her the bumper plates and fumbling my way through my first ever sales pitch, Lauren did something incredible.

“OK, I’ll give it a try,” she said.

She took out her credit card, signed up for a month and became the first “stranger” who signed up for the gym.

And she stayed for a long time. Right until the pandemic started and she decided that she was going to tour the country in a van with her husband and settle in Oregon.

Lauren gave me much more than the authorization to charge her card that day (although we really needed the cash!). Her belief in me gave me belief in myself. Which was something I really needed in those early days and still one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received.

#1 - Alec

Alec was a great friend of Kyle’s and essentially an adopted son for me. I was his first ever strength coach when he was 17 years old. Had I known he was as broke as he was I would have charged him even less for training.

Alec helped us build the gym. I still remember him scraping glue off the floor on Christmas Eve after we had, yet again, laid the gym floor down incorrectly.

When Alec asked to join our staff as a trainer, I was hesitant. As crazy as it sounds, I never thought that anyone would run the sessions but Kyle and I. But after not seeing daylight for about 8 months, working 7 days per week and having a toddler at home, I figured he was worth a shot.

One day, the Monday after Mother’s Day to be precise, our client Jaime came in for her usual 11AM session really distraught. She confided in me that the day before, her two teenage children didn’t acknowledge that it was Mother’s Day. No flowers, no special breakfast, not even a card.

I was sitting at the front table as Alec took Jaime through her session and even by the end of it I could tell that the training session barely budged her mood. I was so wrapped up in consoling her that I didn’t notice Alec sneak out of the gym.

Moments later as Jaime put on her bag to leave, Alec busted through the door breathlessly. A Mother’s Day card in his outstretched hand.

We’ve seen a lot of cool feats of strength and endurance in our gyms. We’ve competed together. We’ve rolled around the floor breathlessly after workouts. We’ve had great laughs and tough times when the world’s problems were on everyone’s minds and they needed a release.

But Alec’s act here is, for me, the greatest moment in the history of our gym. You cannot teach selflessness like that as much as I’d love to take even a piece of the credit for it.

What all these stories have in common, I believe, is that they reveal how transformative the gym can be. And I realize this sounds biased and a bit grandiose. But I don’t think it makes it any less true.

Communities where people are doing hard things and have each other’s backs are the ones worth joining. And more than a loss of body fat or the lifting of PR weight they will find a way to change you for the better.

And if you’re making any lists for the year ahead, that kind of change should sit right at the top.

Sure, some people might randomly sign up to get emails from a gym they have no interest in attending. Just as some people might enjoy watching slap fight competitions or performing high rep sets of Bulgarian Split Squats.

They exist. But they are psychopaths.

Most people who get these emails are either current or former members or they have signed up for an introductory call.

And since I currently hold the staff record for most sales calls - an accomplishment I am almost as proud of as my record for eating the most slices at the CiCis Pizza Buffet on Jericho Turnpike - there is a good chance that you spoke with me.

While the goal of these calls is for you to learn about the gym and get a better understanding of how what we do might help you, I’ve noticed something else happening over the years of taking these calls.

Without ever having seen you squat or run a mile or max out your deadlift, these calls can reliably predict (with 97.4% accuracy!) whether or not you have a chance at reaching your fitness goals.

“How is that even possible,” you yell incredulously at your brand new iPhone 17.

“How can one phone call be the predictor of my future fitness success?!?”

You’re right to be skeptical, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

To put the proverbial proof in the pudding (as well as get this blog post to my contractually obligated 800 word minimum), I am going to share with you the two very important traits that are critical for your fitness success which also happen to reveal themselves on every call.

So turn up the brightness on that aforementioned iPhone, hit the pause button on Kiss’s “I Was Made For Loving You” (which I just know is playing in your headphones right now) because you are going to want to give your full attention to this.

First, everyone who is successful takes action.

They might not sign up on the call. They might not even sign up for our gym.

But they use the phone call to push the process forward and try something that could be successful.

Often this is just jumping in and giving our 6 session trial a shot (bonus points if you had already decided you were going to jump in before the call even started or if you sign up and get started in the next day or two).

Some people don’t like to make decisions on the spot. Fair enough. So they want to think it over or comparison shop or discuss with their partner.

And here is the difference between the people who are successful and those who are not, they actually do it. They take the couple of days and actually get back to me.

Some of them jump in (great!). Some of them find a gym that is more convenient or costs less or whatever and they sign up for that (also great!). In either case, they are moving the ball forward. It is remarkably frustrating to talk to people who want better for themselves, know what they are doing isn't working and still decide to do nothing about it.

Of course I want you to give our gym a try. But more than that, I want you to give something you believe in a try.

Doing nothing is death. And I don’t want you dead. If you are dead my subscriber number would go down and that is a blow my ego just can’t take.

The second unifying trait is that they are honest.

You want to train with us? Awesome.

It costs more than you are budgeted for? I understand.

You don’t want to walk the extra two blocks to get to us? Hmmmm, I don’t love that but appreciate the candor.

You want one-on-one. You don’t want to lift weights. You were looking for a combo of boxing, yoga and pilates (boxingyogalates??) because you know that is the only thing that works for “your body”? Ok, sure. No problem.

But if you know that you aren’t going to sign up for this (or anything else) and you are just stringing me along, you are kind of being an asshole.

Asking for an email recapping everything we spoke about rather than just saying “no”. Signing up for a tour that you no-show and never had the intention of attending. Scheduling a follow up and then ghosting.

These are the traits of the person who will never reach their goals.

Not because you haven’t signed up for our gym or that you inconvenienced me. It’s because you can’t be honest. And you are going to need to be very honest with yourself and, ultimately, your support system if you are going to accomplish the seemingly daunting task of getting in the type of shape that would satisfy you.

Training is constant confrontation with your limits and your humanity. And I realize that sounds grandiose but that doesn’t make it any less true. You will get to the point where you won’t be able to move the needle forward if you aren’t brutally honest.

It could be your consistency or your strength or your range of motion or your attitude or about a million other things that are holding you back. Whatever it is, you are going to confront that thing with a level of determination, humility and, yes, honesty if you are going to move forward.

And if you can’t achieve that level of transparency on a phone call with someone who genuinely wants to help you (and gives you every opportunity to tell me the truth) how do you expect to do that if you have a I-don’t-know-if-I-can-lift-this bar on your back or you are so breathless from a 2k row that you wonder for a full 5 minutes if you will ever recover from.

I know, I know. Those of you who perhaps recognize this in themselves are cursing and think I’m kind of an asshole and can’t get to the unsubscribe button quickly enough.

But since this may be my last opportunity to give you some coaching advice before you disappear forever, let me leave you with this.

Fix this problem. It’s not only the way that you’ll get in shape, it’s the only way to get anything you want.

For those of you who are watching hour 7 of NFL pre-game or are knee-deep in mushroom and string bean casserole at that time, “Alice’s Restaurant” is an approximately 20 minute, mostly spoken-word, live concert recording story-song performed by Arlo Guthrie.

Arlo is best known for three things.

The first is Alice’s Restaurant. The second is an incredible mane of long, curly hair that would make Weird Al jealous. Lastly is that he is the son of American songwriting legend, Woody Guthrie.

If you don’t know who Woody Guthrie is (and, really, at this point, just unsubscribe here) he wrote little-known tunes such as “This Land Is Your Land” and was the main influence of an obscure artist named Bob Dylan.

I’m not sure how the tradition of Alice’s Restaurant began but I’m even more perplexed that it has endured. It’s long, it’s not particularly good and it is only tangentially related to Thanksgiving.

But, alas, some people like what they like and are comforted by things that come around year after year without fail.

I might be considered one such person (my lukewarm feelings on Alice’s Restaurant aside).

Yet, surprisingly, I have no such traditions when it comes to this very blog.

I mean, sure, it hits your inbox at 9:05 Eastern time every Monday. And you are almost certain to get some overwrought story of my life, a few pop culture references, a couple of well-placed Dad jokes and perhaps even some honest-to-goodness training advice.

But these things are more about consistency (and, perhaps my limited talents) than they are traditions.

This year, I’m going to try to fix that.

Last year, at the start of Hanukkah, I shared this blog post about my Grandmother. And it was fairly well-received. And while I pride myself on delivering fresh-off-the-presses content each week, this year I’m going to reshare that story.

Not because I have nothing to write about (I’ve clearly already tested your patience with the first 500 words here) but sometimes the best stories are the ones you get to revisit from time to time.

And if it does nothing else but give me another chance to honor my Grandmother, that’s also okay with me. So here it is:

Hanukkah is not a major religious holiday.

It mainly gets hyped as a way for us Jewish kids to have our own thing during the Christmas season.

And boy did that work on me. Because as a kid, I loved Hanukkah.

You’ve got presents, you’ve got singing, you’ve got decorations, you’ve got fire. What’s not to love?

Well, I’ll tell you.

Part of the Hanukkah tradition is to eat foods that have been fried to death. Which, in and of itself, could be seen as a positive.

However, the featured dessert are jelly donuts covered in powdered sugar - a treat called sufganiyot.

And while I don’t tend to be too picky about foods I absolutely do not like jelly.

To make matters worse, my grandmother would make homemade sufganiyot. And since they were a significant amount of work to make she’d get a bit chuffed if you chose to finish off a great night with a different sweet.

So my mother’s solution to this was very simple. She didn’t offer any alternatives. Sufganiyot or nothing.

Did this bum me out, watching my Dad down his fourth donut while I sipped on some tea with approximately 16 spoons of sugar in it? Yes, yes it did.

Couldn’t I just open a sleeve of Oreos or have a Pop Tart or eat anything (ANYTHING!) other than these jelly-stuffed nightmares?!?

But what are you going to do? Tradition is tradition. Particularly when it comes to religion. Regardless of how religious it actually is.

You’ve already heard me prattle on about maintaining your training during the holiday season. About how you want to be someone who trains regardless of the circumstances. That it is more about who you are than what you do. That you will be way ahead of the curve going into the new year if you, at the very least, get in a minimum effective dose.

But the other reason for many to maintain training during the holidays is that, for a lot of people, this is a difficult time of year. It’s stressful, it’s cold, many don’t have good relationships with their families and the holidays can really put a spotlight on that.

And maintaining a connection to your body and to your gym community (if you are lucky and enough to have one) are less pragmatic but equally powerful reasons to continue training during the holiday season.

Because everybody does feel better after training. Those hormones and neurotransmitters are real and they have absolutely proven to lift mood.

And while this sounds remarkably meathead, being around like minded people, getting a spot or a pat on the back or having a laugh can be a real solution to the connection people seek this time of year. Even if it’s only for an hour at a time a few times per week.

So if you are feeling lonely or a bit sad or anxious or overwhelmed, take an hour and get some training in. It may feel like a chore to start but it just might be the most valuable holiday gift you give yourself this year.

This year Hanukkah actually falls on Christmas Day. So we’ll head out to see my family and light the candles and sing the songs and open the presents and get to witness the joy we had as kids through my nieces and nephews and my own son.

And this year, once the menorah has been lit and the torn wrapping paper has been thrown away, there will likely be a variety of desserts. Because last year my grandmother passed away.

And I’ll look at the table. And it will be a painful moment when I remember that I’m finally getting what I always wanted.

Between my family, my community, my gyms, my great City, my body that continues to perform, my friendships and too many other things to name, I have a lot to be thankful for.

One of those things is my staff.

I’ve said this before but running a small business can be a real bitch. But one of the great things is that you get to choose the people you work with and this crew is absolutely the best.

And while I feel very close to all of them, there is one aspect of my life that I think they’ll never be able to understand.

They were never fat and out of shape.

I’m pretty sure Hollis came out of the womb with abs that can cut diamonds. Conor ran a sub-6 minute mile as a toddler. Will and Eric scored off the charts on the Presidential Fitness Test in elementary school. Elena and Christabelle were born with the squat depth of the Gods. Kyle and Jules have never gone through a phase of NOT wanting to show off their quads.

I could go on and on but you get the point.

The upside to all of this is that I feel I can most closely relate to the challenges our clients face. When you sign up for a facility like ours it is most likely because you need support and expertise around your training in order to make progress. If you are already benching 100kgs like Layla (which is absolutely nuts, by the way) you probably aren’t calling me for help.

Lucky for you, the former fat boy over here is also in charge of writing this blog every week.

And double lucky for you, you can underline the “former” in the above sentence. Because while I’ve had periods of being in better and worse shape over the last 25 years, I’ve never gone back to my former status.

Which makes me rather qualified to share with you what I call “The Ten Stages of Weight Loss” which may come in remarkably handy as many of you will face the upcoming new year looking to drop some weight.

Let me walk you through the stages.

Stage One: That Nagging Feeling

One day, you are minding your own business, walking to the bus as you always do after work when you have a thought you’ve never experienced before.

“Am I fat?” you think to yourself.

Maybe you felt a little extra jiggle as you had to pick up the pace to grab the 5:15. Or caught a glimpse of yourself in the reflection in a shop window at a bad angle and, boom, now this brand new concern has entered your noggin.

You chalk it up to not getting a good night sleep or that you are retaining water and you are sure by tomorrow all will go back to normal.

But it doesn’t. It lasts. For weeks. You can’t shake it.

Stage Two: Life Goes On

Even though this new thought is bothering you, you continue living life as usual. You still smother your pancakes with maple syrup at brunch. You circle around the parking lot for an extra 10 minutes to find a spot that cuts down your walk to the Best Buy by approximately 20 steps.

But the thought is still there. “Do I enjoy living my life this way?” you wonder as you plop down on the couch with your third pint of Cherry Garcia this week.

Stage Three: The Moment

You have your friends over for fried chicken and ribs in order to celebrate your birthday. It’s all there. The meats, the sauces, the sides, the biscuits. And it’s all delicious. But you are having a hard time enjoying it.

And after forcing down the last serving of tri-tip baked beans you put down the fork and gently announce to yourself that it’s over. You can no longer continue this way. Suddenly this becomes the most important thought you ever had in your life.

You put down the fork, tell no one, say your goodnights and you go to bed.

Tomorrow things will be different.

Stage Four: A Brand New Day

You wake up somewhat surprised that you are still motivated to do this. But it’s going to be great.

You wipe the sleep out of your eyes as you instinctively grab the box of Lucky Charms off the top of the fridge before you realize, “I am not prepared for this”. You put the box down and head out for work, deciding you will just grab something along the way.

You decide two things. The first is that you’ll get a bacon, egg, hold the cheese on a whole wheat bagel.

“This has to be better for me, right?!?”

The second is that you have no idea how to do this and you must research.

Stage 5: The Deep Dive

You get to your desk and immediately scour the internet for weight loss diets, calorie calculators and whatever hacks are going to help you drop the pounds the fastest.

It all becomes confusing and overwhelming and you decide the internet is too big. Instead, you are going to ask Samantha in accounting for advice. She lost twenty pounds on low carb.

You realize as you are about to approach her office that you don’t even know what a carb is.

Maybe getting a book would be a better idea.

Stage 6: You’re Doing It!

You sift through all the materials, decide on a plan that works for you and you stick with it.

Sure, you’re afraid of the number that’s about to appear between your feet, but you get on the scale anyway so you have a way of tracking progress.

You buy the groceries, throw out the snacks and cancel the auto-renew subscription to the “Candied Bacon Of The Month” club.

Stage 7: What Are You Doing?!?

You’re at your parents house for your niece’s birthday and you decide to skip out on the birthday cake which draws a curious look from your mother.

The ladies from the second floor are kind of surprised when you take food prep out of your bag instead of walking with them to Arby’s for lunch.

The guys notice your absence at fifty-cent wing night as you currently hold the bar record for most eaten.

People start to question your behavior. Your mother calls your grandmother because she is very concerned. Your friends start to wonder if you’ve joined some sort of cult.

Stage 8: What Are You Doing?!? (Part 2)

It starts working.

First, you notice it in the mirror when you get out of the shower.

“Is that my chin? Am I starting to see the outline of my top two abs?”

You figure out the best lighting and mirror set up in your home and check your progress again.

“Holy shit, it’s happening!”

It takes two more weeks but other people start noticing as well.

The ladies from the second floor want to know what is in that container that you bring in every day.

Samantha from accounting gives you a knowing nod.

Your mother grows even more concerned.

Your wing-night buddies. - yeah, they don’t notice anything.

Stage 9: The Roller Coaster

Inspired by the progress you’ll continue on the path. It will become obsessive and robotic. This is just who you are now. You will approach or even reach your weight loss goal. You believe that you are bullet-proof.

And it will feel that way for a while. And in an effort to find ‘balance” you will loosen up. A slice of pizza at Janice’s retirement party. A fifty-cent wing night reunion with your friends.

Sure, you’ll show a lot more restraint than you have in the past. And these indulgences don’t even affect your body composition.

Until they do.

And after not stepping on the scale for a few months (mostly cause you were scared to) you realize you are back up seven pounds.

Stage 10: The Actual Beginning

Now that you’ve gone through it all, you realize how it actually all works and you figure out the push and pull of the entire system.

You know when you can break your diet and when you can come back to it.

If you are lucky, it becomes intuitive. It becomes part of you. Sure, you still have to think about it but you don’t have to “think about it”.

Just like water doesn’t put a lot of thought into how it is going to flow.

Granted, most people will not reach stage 10. They will give up along the way.

But I hope that isn’t you. Because while it seems perhaps trite or overstated, I actually believe that having control, confidence and belief in your body is one of the greatest gifts that you can give yourself.

And if you are lucky enough to have your health and the ability to take control, it’s a gift worth giving.

Greater than anything you will find under the tree or around the menorah.

Honestly, I could have written that sentence in 2017.

Or 2019.

Or 2021, 2022 or 2023.

But this isn’t a flashback. And I’m not recycling an old blog. This is current day Dan coming at you.

Somehow, Flatiron has become to gyms what Orlando has become to theme parks and family restaurants. Except we don’t torture endangered marine life or deep fry oreos here. At least I don’t think we do.

I want to approach a new gym neighbor from a place of confidence. I love the gyms, the community and the training product we’ve been able to sustain on this block for over a decade now. It’s certainly something I am remarkably proud of. And I know it’s not easily reproducible.

But a new gym on our block is also a bit unnerving.

I can remember being in the office of the gym that I used to work at when the owner of that facility was meeting with the head of product at Nike. I’m not sure how the conversation started but they both threw back their heads in laughter at the thought of CrossFit being any kind of viable player in the fitness space.

Neither of them saw it as legitimate competition.

Flash forward about fifteen years and that gym is out of business and Nike has lost about 50% of its market share in the training shoe and gym space.

A gym doesn’t have to share your modality or class size or attention to training in order to be seen as competition. Even if your product is vastly superior, most people just don’t know the difference between effective training and the newest fad.

And people only have so much time and money to spend on fitness. It’s not as if most of them are adding this new training class into their week. Rather, they are simply replacing you with something new.

Interestingly, this new gym has changed names a couple of times prior to opening which I didn’t take as a good sign. But curiosity got the better of me and after snooping on them via Instagram, one morning I took the long way around the block to see if I could spy on our new neighbors.

I noticed two things immediately.

The first is that this place had some nice decor. Really nice. I mean the wall sculpture hanging behind the desk looked like it cost more than my apartment.

The second was the lighting. Why do all these new fitness studios share this dark, barely there lighting? It’s dark, moody, and hides more than it reveals. Kind of like your kid sister in her teen years.

The final thing I will mention, cause I found it remarkably odd, is that you can’t really see anyone training through the windows but you can see into the locker room. Which seems like “a choice” that will either make them very popular or backfire completely depending on who you are trying to attract.

I mention all of this not just so I can process my insecurities aloud (a common theme on this blog if you are keeping score) but as more of a warning.

Allow me to share a related story in order to make my point. Like most of you, I have an accountant. Now, personal taxes are complicated enough but when you operate a business, your tax situation gets exponentially more complex. There’s servicing debt, equipment depreciation, submitting sales tax and about a thousand other things that cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and, in all honesty, I understand almost none of it. Which is why you hire an accountant. Hopefully they help you keep some money and, perhaps more importantly, keep you out of jail.

Training should be looked at in a similar light.

Now, I don’t propose that a biceps curl is as complicated as the tax code, but an effective training program does require some thought. Things like exercise selection, synergy, volume, intensity, order, progressions and pacing are just a few of the things one should consider when creating an efficient and effective training program.

And, if I knew how to use a computer properly, I would underline the word “should” in that paragraph. Because every facility that charges money in exchange for training expertise “should” do those things. But most do not.

And just as my accountant might be taking the correct number of deductions on my 1040, the truth is, I have no idea. And, when it comes to training, you probably have no idea either.

So, allow me to do my part. As a certified meathead (an honor that can only be bestowed by Arnold Schwarzenegger himself!) allow me to give you some hints as to what to look for in an effective, diligent training facility.

The first is that there should be a plan.

And while a plan for any given day is nice, what I’m talking about here is a long term plan that thoughtfully and systematically helps you reach your goals. I often refer to this as a roadmap. On the roadmap, workouts stitch together in a way that follows the principles of training in order to best deliver an outcome.

So, if you walk into a facility for three sessions and you don’t have a clear understanding of how those sessions have progressed, you should be suspicious.

The second is tracking.

It’s almost impossible to progress the plan if you don’t have a record of what you’ve done previously. So there needs to be a record of your weights, reps, paces or any other relevant data. Sure, you aren’t a math problem and things like stress and sleep and nutrition will affect how you perform on any given day, but knowing what you’ve done before should influence what you do next.

So if you are in a place that just prescribes set weights for everyone regardless of capability or, perhaps even worse, is just winging it, there is no way for them to put you in the best position to make progress. And, God forbid, they say some shit like, “Everyone grab dumbbells. Guys grab the 25s, girls grab the 15s!!!!” run….run away.

You know how casinos get you to gamble more money than you are probably comfortable losing? They set you up in a huge, winding room with no windows or clocks. They ply you full of “complimentary drinks” as long as you are making wagers. They study which colors make people take the most risks and cover their tables with it. They give you “free” meals and set off loud buzzers and bright lights.

Essentially, they distract you and manipulate your psychology.

So if you walk into a gym and the focus is more on the decor, the lighting, the fog machines, the smoothie bar and the awesome collab they did with a soap company to provide the shampoo in the bathroom, you are being distracted into not focusing on the workouts but getting sucked into the bells and whistles.

And that’s fine, if that is what you are there for. Hell, I love a nice soap as much as the next guy. But from what everyone tells me, people want efficient and effective training more than they want a shirtless DJ in front of a fog machine when they are trying to do some goblet squats.

Sure, training can be fun. It can even be slightly entertaining. But the training should be the star of the show. You are going to the gym, not the circus.

Lastly, any facility should treat you kindly and with respect. And not just when you sign up and they are trying to make a sale. Listen, no one understands better than I do the value of consistent revenue. But if a place locks you into some iron-clad contract that you need a doctor, an attorney and a visit from your angry Jewish mother to get out of, you are locked into a toxic relationship.

Life happens. People get sick. They lose their jobs. Hell, they can even just change their minds. You should be attending a facility because you want to be there and they continually earn your business. Not because you are being forced into it or you feel like you are just lighting money on fire if you don’t go.

I think more gyms, more options and more competition is actually a good thing. We certainly need people training more in our great city.

But ineffective training and, more importantly, shady tactics give people a general distrust of gyms and training and this may be the hardest thing to overcome. No one wants to feel like they are putting in effort and not making progress or getting taken advantage of. And when you are in an industry that promotes general distrust, building trust is a real challenge for the people who are doing good work out there

I’ll stay optimistic (but maybe a touch skeptical) every time a new sign goes up on our block. And, as my contribution, I’ll keep doing what we’ve always done. Train people hard and treat them fairly and with respect.

No fog machines. No shirtless DJs. No clowns. No illusions.

Just a commitment to do the things that we know work.

Maybe all kids love this, I don’t know.

These trips always happened in the summer, and they weren’t extravagant. We’d pile in the car for a few days in DC or an amusement park weekend. Once, when I was 10, we flew to Orlando for what might have been the greatest week of my young life.

As much as I loved these trips, there was something I loved even more. The anticipation of these trips.

Perhaps this is common. Perhaps I was a weird kid. But for me the lead up was the excitement. Breaking out the paper maps from the glove compartment to plan the route. Looking at the brochures we got from the travel agency. Going to Alexanders to get outfits that were purchased months before but were not to be worn prior to the trip.

I know, I know. Those of you under forty have no idea what a paper map, travel agent and Alexanders even are. But, trust me, this was all part of it back then.

I so looked forward to these trips that I woke up the morning of with an even mixture of excitement and melancholy. We were finally going! But the build up was behind me.

Back then, half the fun was in the waiting. Maybe that’s something we lose as adults.

Again, I’m not sure how many kids feel like this but it certainly doesn’t seem like adults do. And maybe that is because we are taught not to.

As business owners, founders or employees we are always told to have a vision of the future.

Our personal financial plans are optimized for retirement more than they are for the lives we currently desire to live.

And when it comes to fitness it is typically all about future goals. How you can get to your target body weight or how many training cycles before you can bench three plates.

The eyes are always on the horizon.

And that is good, to an extent. It’s good to think about where you want your business and career to go. It’s smart to plan for your financial future. It’s motivating to have training goals and to set up the structure to work towards them.

I’m a huge believer in delayed gratification and taking the long view.

But if we only look out in the distance we miss something very important. We neglect the ground under our feet.

Understanding how to make the most out of this month or this week or even this day is undervalued. And, truthfully, it’s more important than planning for the future outcomes.

This isn’t so much about “being present” or having an appreciation for your current life (although those things are valuable). This is about putting the effort into the thing right in front of you - this month's sales numbers, this week’s budget, today’s strength workout - because, quite honestly, these are things that are much more in your control.

They are also the things that are going to lead to and allow you to build to that long term vision you have for yourself.

No one knows what the future will hold. Just during my time in the fitness industry we’ve gone through the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, a long bull run in the stock market, a global pandemic and whatever the hell is happening right now.

And maybe The Big Short guys or someone working on AI saw all this coming, but the rest of us probably didn’t.

And there’s a good chance that if you worked for Lehman Brothers in 2007, your vision of your future self probably didn’t work out exactly how you thought it might.

So, yes. Plan and plot and strategize.

But don’t forget to look down at the road and see where you are going to plant your foot next.

Because the future isn’t an imagined finish line. It’s just a trail of well-placed steps.

We had driven up from Phoenix but got a late start. We always get a late start.

So now we made it to the rim just as the shadows got long.

There is a visual trick that occurs when you are in front of something as vast as the Grand Canyon when the sun goes down. It’s as if the entire thing flattens out. And what, just minutes before felt like an eternity away, feels like it’s in reach. As if the other side of this massive thing is suddenly right in front of you.

The night before our wedding my wife and I strolled arm-and-arm up Henry Street in Brooklyn to the original Grimaldi’s Pizza for our last meal as an engaged couple. The surprisingly mild Fall suddenly turned chilly as we took the long walk full of excitement and hope.

And, because of this, we now have an annual tradition of getting pizza for our anniversary every year. This marked the 25th year of us getting pizza together.

(Technically it’s 26 years as this is our 25 anniversary, but you have to allow me the dramatic license here)

We’ve also added another tradition. Post-pizza we sit on the couch and look at our wedding pictures and our honeymoon album. All taken back in the day when you took photos on a camera and developed the film and slipped them into a spiral bound book filled with plastic top-loading sleeves.

And it’s lovely. But it also becomes increasingly strange. The distance between where we currently are and who we were back then continues to increase. Who are the kids in those pictures? Where did they go? They look familiar but also odd. As if they’ve been put through some sort of filter or AI that’s made everything slightly uncanny.

As I’ve mentioned in the past, I am contractually obligated to at least mention fitness in these blogs. And sometimes the bridge I build is tenuous at best. But, maybe surprisingly (while, admittedly, being a bit trite) the link is actually not that hard this week.

Because, if you train long enough, your workouts will also look surprisingly unrecognizable compared to where you start.

I’ll use myself as an example.

When I first went to the gym after deciding I needed to, funny enough, lose weight for my upcoming wedding, I spent all my time on the first floor of Body Elite, a local Brooklyn gym, sweating it out on the treadmills, elliptical machines, StairMasters and any other piece of cardio equipment that were scattered in front of the bank of televisions serving as a welcome distraction during the 60 minutes of steady-state that I was performing three times per week.

From there it was up to the third floor and the large group fitness room which was mostly cardio-kickboxing and brutal 45-minute long jump rope classes.

I then found myself in the weight room, banging out heavy dips during my chest-and-triceps day and following any bodybuilding routine I could find.

Serious bodybuilders didn’t train at gyms that even offered cardio-kickboxing classes so I changed gyms and signed up to Gold’s where I lifted heavy and made friends with both ex-cons and the lawyers who defended them.

When I started working at Peak Performance I was exposed to a more athletic-based training model where range of motion, power and reactivity and total body training were the norm.

From there I got into Olympic Weightlifting and competed in several meets - including a few national and international competitions where I perpetually finished just off the podium in fourth place.

And lastly, I’ve religiously followed The Fort program which combines both strength training and conditioning which has improved my strength, body composition and has prepared me for endurance events such as Hyrox.

Quite the journey, and I know you’ve been captivated by every moment of it. But the point is, if you stay in the game long enough, your training will and must progress.

You will learn and apply the knowledge that comes along the way. Your goals and interests might change. If nothing else, age will play a role in what and how much you are able to do.

And that’s okay. The goal isn’t to keep training like you did at twenty-five, it’s to keep training, period. To keep learning where your edge is and where it isn’t. To know when to push and when to cruise. Progress doesn’t always look like more weight or faster times. Sometimes it looks like showing up with more wisdom and focus. Sometimes it looks like doing the same thing with more purpose, better technique and greater intent.

We returned to the Grand Canyon early the following day as the sun shone brightly and it was just as vast as one might imagine. The trick of the previous day’s sundown had been revealed and it seemed like it would take a journey of a thousand miles to get to the other side.

And I thought about how progress, whether in training, in marriage, in parenting or in anything worth doing, really, feels the same way. Up close, it can look manageable, like the other side is right there. But when the light shifts, you realize how far you’ve come and how far there still is to go.

And that is the paradox of both time and distance. One moment everything can seem so close. And in the next so, so far away.

I’m on the dance floor, grooving and when they break into a three song run of “Boogie Wonderland,” “Fantasy” and “September” the place goes absolutely bat shit crazy and it’s the best 20 minutes of my life.

Does this happen to anyone else?

No?

I really need to stop eating spicy foods before bed.

In any case, as the euphoria of experiencing what is, undoubtedly, my coolest self wears off, I try to piece together what this means. Because I believe it was either Freud or Randy “Macho Man” Savage who famously said that “your dreams reveal more about you than your reality”.

When I bring up these types of questions to my therapist she just rolls her eyes, says that I am once again deflecting and asks if we can spend our time on my actual issues - of which she claims there are many.

So I’m left to interpret this for myself.

In addition to being a fan of soul music I am also a meathead.

And these fever dreams make me want to bring the two worlds together. Because I think a lot of people believe they are going to experience the dark side of my fish-out-of-water dream-concert-going experience when it comes to attending the gym. They worry that they are going to feel out of place walking through the door, stared at and secretly made fun of when they try a new exercise in the middle of the training floor or will hold the class back when they check out a new group fitness studio.

This fear makes sense. New places can feel scary and mysterious. People are self-conscious about how they look and how they move. Gyms are filled with tan, string tank topped muscle bound jerks who only communicate in grunts. And everyone is scrutinizing your every move.

Except none of that is actually true.

At their worst, gyms are filled with people who are minding their own business. Zoning out while cranking reps on the leg extension or holding back tears while listening to Billie Eilish during a 45 minute elliptical session (perhaps that last one is just me).

At best they are filled with people who want to help you when you seem new or confused and, oftentimes, build connections and friendships with others who like to be in the gym and value their strength, health and well being.

In facilities like ours, the interaction and connection is actually a key part of the entire experience. Sure, it’s the coaching but beyond that it’s the relationships and bonds created between the members that is the unexpected “x factor” that makes it all so special.

And before you know it, it becomes the opposite of the fish-out-of-water story. Instead the gym transforms into your very own aquarium. Filled with fake plants and a plastic diver in an old-school helmet that blows bubbles and neon-colored gravel.

Ok, I took the metaphor too far there. But I think you get the point. Find the right training facility and not only do the scaries go away, it becomes a place that you look forward to showing up at. Where you find strength and self-confidence and new friends to go out to a protein pancake-filled brunch with and everything you hoped someplace new would deliver but so rarely does.

Find the right gym and it ends up being the thing that dreams are made of.

The organization has a legitimate logo. The people running the table seem fine and upstanding. They have all the proper documentation that proves they are, indeed, a real organization.

You’re feeling generous in the moment and you decide to write a check for $500.

The representatives are thrilled. They shake your hand, thank you and tell you that this donation will allow them to purchase coats for ten children.

You, rightfully so, walk away feeling great about your generosity.

Now, picture something else. It’s early December and you notice that, every day at school drop off, there is a Mom and daughter standing, shivering, waiting to be let into class and neither of them have coats.

You’ve spoken to this Mom a couple of times and you realize she is struggling. Pride won’t let her tell you that directly but you read between the lines.

So after this latest drop-off you decided that you are going to go to that same department store and buy a coat for the little girl, knowing that the Mom is going to appreciate it but be resistant to the help.

You concoct a story of how you just bought your daughter a new jacket and they offered a buy one get one free and she doesn’t need another jacket and are wondering if her daughter would want it instead.

The mother hesitantly agrees and the next day you see the mom and daughter, a little less distraught and a lot less cold at the school drop off.

No doubt, in either case, you are a fucking hero. Seriously. We need more people like you in the world.

But that being said, which gesture feels better to you?

It’s not an easy question to answer.

In the first scenario, you are, to the best of the information you have available, helping ten children get coats. And while that is wonderful, these are all nameless and faceless children. You have no idea how much of your money is going to administrative fees, that table set up in the department store and all the other costs that go into running a charity.

In the second case, you are only helping one child but you directly get to see the results of your generosity. You’ve helped someone in need in your community. And that is what humanity is all about.

That same dynamic shows up in fitness all the time. The tradeoff between impact and reach. Between helping one person deeply, or thousands shallowly.

When I worked as a personal trainer in a very high profile facility, word got out that The Biggest Loser, a controversial weight loss reality show, was looking for the next crop of trainers. It seemed like every trainer in the gym submitted a tape hoping that the exposure would vault their career.

But I didn’t.

One of my colleagues asked why. I thought for a second and told him the truth.

The first is that I didn’t think I’d be very good at it. The second is that I wanted to be in front of the people I was helping.

He countered. Arguing that the platform would scale the ability to help. Bring more of myself to more people through broadcast.

He had a point. Just like in the coat scenario you had two options: bring helpful fitness information to the unwashed masses or help a single person who is right in front of you.

(Yes, I am ignoring that no good information ultimately came out of The Biggest Loser. But these blogs aren’t the easiest things to write every week so give me some slack here.)

The past couple of weeks I shared some business lessons I’ve experienced in our first ten years of The Fort and the reception was, well, mediocre. I mean, seriously people, is it that hard to hit the reply button and say something nice???? Jk, jk.

But a similar issue exists in business as it does in charity coat drives and Biggest Loser audition tapes. How do you balance the issue of scale (which everyone seems to value and claims is important) and having impact on a personal level (which is just about my favorite thing)?

And, listen, I’m going to let you down easy here. I don’t have an answer.

I know, I know. The greying beard and deep-thought posts have led you to believe that I am some sort of meat head sage, sitting in a small temple on a mountain top in Nepal dispensing unquestionable wisdom to all who take the brutal three day trek and are brave enough to ask the deepest questions.

But while I don’t have the exact equation I can tell you this - working on the balance is important.

Because growth is somewhat critical for success. Not only does it allow us to help more people, it also gives our staff an upward trajectory in their career and lives and gives us the ability to do bigger and more impactful things.

But none of this can come at the sacrifice of the training and the personal interactions. Fitness is not a factory. And us knowing your kids names or asking how your ailing parents are doing or remembering that you have the trip-of-a-lifetime to Greece in a month is something that we will work on never losing.

Running a fitness (or any!) business is hard. Getting to know you along the way is what makes it special and keeps us going.

So take my five hundred bucks and go buy ten coats. But that little girl outside the school, she gets one, too.

For those of you who didn’t read it:

* How dare you! * The Fort is turning 10 years old this month and there are some lessons I learned in a decade of business that I wanted to share with you.

The response has been overwhelming.

Telegrams have poured in from all over the world. The New York Times, Forbes and Inc. all reached out to do a feature. Alan Greenspan rose up from his grave to ask me for economic advice.

Clearly, none of this is true. Which leads me perfectly into the next lesson.

Lesson 6: Not everyone will see it.

When you create, craft and work on something for long enough you see the brilliance in it (you also see the holes, but that’s another lesson, entirely). Therefore, you think everyone else will unquestionably see it, feel it and shout your praises from the rooftops.

But that isn’t what happens. It’s actually quite the opposite.

Sure, you’ll have early supporters who love you. But you are also the equivalent of a business fawn. You are on new, shaky legs and you have almost no idea how the world works.

And this will lead to sessions that run 20 minutes over or somehow get overbooked. You’ll be so sleep deprived that you accidentally nail a Hollywood actress in the face with a medicine ball at 5AM which, in turn, leads to your first bad Yelp! review.

You’ll make the mistake of going on Reddit to see if anyone is talking about the gym only to be met with “who do these assholes think they are?” threads.

And it will bother you. No matter how many “fuck the haters” t-shirts you wear, it will get under your skin.

Which is good. Because you will then learn and make adjustments and if you can keep the lights on for long enough you will actually create something that a community of people will love.

But you are going to go through some pain first. This is unavoidable.

So when people don’t get it right away, don’t panic. Just keep going. Vision always shows up before validation.

Lesson 7: That pain comes back.

You will solve the problems. You will have fans who shout your name from the rooftops. They will bring in referrals. You will feel very grateful and fortunate and like you finally have things solved.

But things are never solved. Because you will change and grow and expand and that will bring new problems and challenges and that pain relief will fade faster than that Tylenol you took for a raging hangover.

If you are someone who is motivated by finish lines, owning a small business is not for you. This is an infinite game until you either give up (never!) or sell (which I think happens to about 1% of small businesses).

So appreciate the moments where it feels like things are going well. Get some sleep. Breath. Maybe even smile for a moment. But just know that the next hurdle is only a step or two away. And it will probably cost you more money than before.

Lesson 8: The music never gets better.

I mean that quite literally. The music in the gyms never gets better.

One day you are listening to “Def Leppard Radio” on Spotify, truly convinced that there is no better playlist for lifting weights when, suddenly, you are pummeled with Drake or Reggaeton or the type of EDM that reminds you of shopping at Club Monaco.

Listen, I get that I am the old man in the room. But you aren’t going to convince me that I am wrong here.

Luckily for us, unlike large group fitness classes, the music isn’t the star of the show in our gyms. And, when you are fortunate enough to have a diverse training population, it’s an impossible thing to get right for everyone.

But the greater lesson here is that there are some things in your business that will be absolute non-negotiables and some things that will benefit from the influence of others. But after a decade of never feeling like we’ve gotten the music right, I’m not sure where we land.

Maybe that’s the real takeaway — some things you can fix, some things you just have to turn down a little and keep lifting.

Lesson 9: You know what you guys should do…

In a community-based business like ours that is located in the heart of New York City, you end up fortunate enough to be surrounded by very smart and very successful people from all walks of life and all types of industries.

And as you gain success, these people will want to start advising you on what you should do moving forward.

For example, at least a dozen of you will now tell me what we should do about the music based on the previous section. Others will tell us where our next location should be or that, “this concept would absolutely kill in Des Moines” because twice per year they go to Des Moines to visit their mother-in-law and would love a place to escape for a couple of hours.

You can and should learn a lot from your clients. They see and experience things in ways that you never will. But when it comes to your business plan and, particularly, your product, they are there to enjoy it and benefit from it, not dictate it.

In a service-based business, people are seeking out your passion, experience and expertise. They may have read an interesting article but you live and breathe this stuff. So stick to what works and what you want to bring into the world.

You can take advice from everyone. But you should take direction from yourself.

Lesson 10: Lead with gratitude.

If you’ve gotten through all ten of these lessons you might be left with the impression that running a small business is mostly a drag. And, as I’ve documented here, it is an uphill battle with a lot of challenges.

While it is perhaps human nature to focus on or overemphasize the difficulties, the right frame is to approach each day with gratitude. I believe the statistics around the new business failure rate are exaggerated, but even with that being said, the chances of keeping a small business running for 10 years (with a crippling, 2 year long pandemic smack dab in the middle of it, no less) are relatively low. So it’s never lost on me that, not only have we beat the odds, we’ve had thousands of people put their fitness in our hands in the past decade.

And the heart-filling gratitude I have for that far outweighs the discomfort of the challenges.

We’ve tried to make you healthier and stronger and fitter. We’ve worked on improving your confidence and finding some friends and hopefully convinced you that you are capable of more than you could ever have imagined.

Our goal has always been to believe in you more than you might have even believed in yourself. And that you walked out of the gym every time rightfully feeling proud of what you’ve accomplished.

Being in business for 10 years isn’t easy. But persisting with this type of training for an hour or 6 months of 10 years isn’t easy either.

So it only seems fitting to end this by thanking you. It may be obvious but it’s still worth saying, our dream wouldn’t be possible without you.

Do not call my emergency contact.

No need to reach out to the local hospitals.

I’m absolutely fine.

I realize this may be in doubt as the title of this blog post gave you deep, deep concern.

No classic rock song title? No four word emotional dagger meant to draw you in? What happened to the Dan we all know and love?

I appreciate your concern. I really do. But no need to worry. I’m absolutely fine.

The truth is, I’ve worked on this blog post about three times longer than I usually do.

Typically, I write pretty quickly. I’ve got years of training and life stories to pull from, an endless supply of pop culture references to, well, reference and enough corny Dad jokes to get us through 800 words. And over the years it’s gotten easier for me to show some vulnerability and tap into the emotional side of working out.

Most people fear writing. The blank page. The writer’s block. I don’t see it that way at all. I look at writing as an indulgence. I can get the cacophony out of my head and onto a virtual sheet of paper where it no longer needs to weigh me down.

It’s basically therapeutic ice cream.

For this one I wanted to be even more reflective than usual. Because this is our 10 year anniversary post.

That’s right, The Fort, - the Synagogue of Strength. The House That Hustle Built, the beloved institution that you can thank for being subscribed to this very blog - we’re turning 10.

(No one refers to us by these nicknames, btw.)

But rather than emote all over you by reflecting over the past 10 years, I want to give you something more tactical. Something more meaty. Something for anyone who has started or thought about starting their own business.

Hence, the title. Think of this post as half Hormozi, half Hallmark card. But like that good Hallmark card that hits you in the feels. Not the bullshit that just gets sparkles all over your kitchen table.

Hopefully you’ll indulge me for the next few pages as I pivot from talking about reps and sets and program design and movie quotes and donuts and dead grandparents and get a bit more into our experience of starting and running a small business in the middle of NYC for a decade.

And, yes, I might also get emotional. You’ve been warned.

Lesson 1: You chose this.

Starting a small business is tough. Keeping it going is tougher. These are universal truths. Sure, some businesses have it harder than others but we all have our “oh shit” moments when it all feels like (or actually is) at the brink of collapse. And it’s in these moments that you must remind yourself that you chose this path.

You could have settled for a regular job with a steady paycheck and three weeks of PTO after 5 years on the job, but you didn’t. Instead you chose to birth something new into the world. Something you thought it needed. And that’s admirable. But it’s also going to be brutal. So don’t take it out on family or friends when they don’t understand. They can’t understand. There is no way to understand unless you are in it.

You put yourself here. Accept it.

(Good news is, the longer you are in it, the easier it is to absorb the brutal moments and temper your excitement and expectations when things are going well.)

Lesson 2: You cannot do this alone.

Not two sentences ago I said that no one else will understand. But that doesn’t mean you don’t need anyone else. You desperately need them. Because when things go absolutely sideways, people might not understand but they will still love you. And it’s in those moments that you will need their love more than ever.

Beyond the emotional support, you will literally need people to help you if you want to grow your business. You will fight with this. Thinking no one can do it the way you do it or care as much as you care. Fair enough. No one is going to care about your baby as much as you do. But thinking there is no one out there who can contribute is a deadly false belief that will ultimately cost you everything if you don’t get beyond it.

There was a time when we fully believed that Kyle and I had to lead all the training sessions. No one could do it as well as we could. Clients would quit if we weren’t their trainers. And if we would have continued believing that we would have ended up nowhere.

Here is the truth: there are others out there with good intentions and good skill sets who will not only help you, they’ll get you way, way beyond where you would be without them.

Lesson 3: You get to choose who you work with.

One of the greatest things about running a small business is that you get to choose who you work with. Unlike working at a bank or an advertising agency, you can curate your coworkers. No more taking a circuitous route to the bathroom so you can avoid Janice from HR who is, once again, going to give you shit about your expense reports but not before giving you a ten minute story about this really cute thing her shih tzu, Bonny, did this weekend.

For me, this started by partnering with Kyle and it would be a mistake to not mention what a great enhancer of life my relationship with him has been over the past decade. In many, many ways Kyle and I are absolute opposites. But the fact that we understand that and approach each other and our differences with love and respect has turned that potential friction into one of our greatest assets as a company.

Perhaps more importantly he’s been someone I could talk to about personal struggles and the challenges of being human - and you don’t often get that in a business partner. Kyle has done something remarkable: he’s the hare who actually respects the tortoise. And that’s why this thing works.

See,I told you I might get emotional.

I could probably write a similar paragraph for each one of our general managers, head coaches, trainers, maintenance staff and everyone who allows us to keep this rolling. I enjoy every single one of them and it’s been a real pleasure to spend my days with them over the past decade.

And this not only goes for our current staff but those who’ve come before, as well. Even if we didn’t part on the best of terms it isn’t lost on me that we wouldn’t have been able to take steps forward without all the people who helped us along the way.

OK, this was supposed to be about helping you and I turned it into a love letter from me. But, hey, I am who I am. I’ll try to get us back on track.

Lesson 4: Act out of integrity. Always tell the truth.

There will be times that, in an effort to put your best foot forward or get attention or even just survive, you might be tempted to twist, omit or vaguely state information that will leave people wondering what you stand for and if you can be trusted.

This is never worth it. Even if it means you lower your status in that person’s eyes or you blow the sale or, God forbid, means you have to shut down your business. Always act out of integrity and tell people the truth. Many, many things can be lost and gained in business over and over again - clients, money, progress. Your reputation is not one of those things. Once it’s gone it’s almost impossible to get back.

You will have many, many sleepless nights as an entrepreneur. Don’t make not being able to look yourself in the mirror the reason for any of them.

Lesson 5: Don’t do it the way everyone else is doing it.

This can easily be misinterpreted. You should absolutely stand on the shoulders of giants by seeing what people want and what has worked for other businesses in your sector.

But if you spend your time trying to be like the studio down the street and not like yourself, you will fail. Cause they will always be way better at what they do than you will be at copying them. Plus they have a giant headstart on you.

Good news is, this works both ways. Get successful enough, other businesses will try to copy yours. But they can’t. Cause only you are you.

Certainly you need to figure out what the market wants. But once you do, put as much of your beliefs, experience and knowledge into it as possible. Cause you are the only one who can build a business based on that.

The powers that be tell me attention spans are dwindling and I should keep blog posts to 600 words. In true Fort fashion, I’ve already blown past that PR.

So I’ll leave you here with the first half of our decade’s worth of lessons. Next week, I’ll share the five that nearly broke us and the ones that made it all worth it.

Sure, it had its problems.

We were taught to hide under our desks to combat the constant fear of nuclear war. Airplane hijackings seemed to occur on a weekly basis. David Copperfield, of all people, took supermodel Claudia Schiffer off the market. And it turns out I had absolutely no shot with my first television crush, Valerie Bertenelli.

But the good outweighed the bad.

You had punk, new wave and hair metal. Neon sweatshirts, Camaros, and the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition arriving at your door every February (not that I was keeping track).

You had to be there.

To give you the greatest example of 80s dominance, in one Summer (1985) all these movies came out: Rambo, Back To The Future, The Goonies, Cocoon, Fletch, European Vacation, Mad Max, St. Elmo’s Fire, Beverly Hills Cop, Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure and Weird Science.

These days, you’re lucky to get one Marvel movie and an announcement that Grand Theft Auto 6 is once again delayed.

We didn’t have constantly infringing technology. At 8 years old you were not only allowed but encouraged to disappear on your bike for the entire afternoon. And you were more likely to get your hydration from a garden hose than an organic bottle from Whole Foods.

I realize that everything looks a bit rosier in the rearview (and certainly people tend to regard their youth as the best of times) but I think this is one of the cases where the nostalgic memories might be as good as the reality.

Speaking of movies, one of my favorites from that time was called “Revenge of The Nerds”.

The basic premise of this comedy revolves around a group of intellectual college freshmen (the aforementioned “nerds”) portrayed as outcasts and bullied by the school’s jocks, who band together, form a fraternity, win the Greek Games, gain control of the Greek Council, rule the school and get the chicks.

It’s a really fun and funny movie that is also, admittedly, riddled with some problematic themes that wouldn’t fly in today’s more socially aware environment.

The nerds are clever and crafty and loveable and you end up rooting for them the entire movie. True underdogs who ultimately get the win.

Lately, there has been a revenge of the nerds in the fitness space.

This mostly comes in the form of “evidence-based” trainers, influencers and podcasters who break down research in order to tell you exactly how much protein your kidneys can process with each meal, the exact pennation angle of your muscles in order to gain maximal range of motion on your high-cable rows and exactly how much sunlight to get on your butthole to optimize your Vitamin D absorption.

Before I go any further, I think it’s important to clarify two main points here.

The first is that I consider myself an evidence-based trainer, to a degree. I follow and report on research, I make sure my programs follow the principles of exercise science and I tend to avoid things that are trendy and unproven.

Mainly I want to be a contrasting voice to the cacophony of deceptive information that riddles the fitness industry. I also feel like I have an obligation to give paying clients the most efficient and effective hours of training I can and I’m not going to risk that on some bullshit.

Secondly, to me, evidence-based does not solely mean scientific, research-based training and nutrition principles. Anecdotal evidence is still evidence. I’ve been training people for a long time and training myself for even longer. Having seen something work for 20 years is evidence.

In fact, science is based on observation and then forming controlled experimentation to confirm or learn about those observations. There are no shortage of situations where science concludes something that bodybuilders or track athletes discovered in training decades earlier.

And this is part of the problem with today’s evidence-based folk. Whether it’s well-intentioned and important scientists-turned-podcasters like Dr. Andrew Huberman or your pencil-necked TikToker who has the nerve to tell The Hulk he’s been training his traps wrong, the current crop of evidence-based crowd seems not to have room for actual training experience.

This is a mistake.

But I also understand why.

Training experience takes time. It takes many failures. It takes a growing understanding and a changing philosophy that cannot be short-cut.

Interpreting research or understanding biomechanics certainly also requires a skill set but can be accelerated to the limit of one’s tolerance to learn.

In other words, you can learn and regurgitate biohacking principles relatively quickly. Developing muscle and experiencing the reps required to get there takes time. And taking time leaves a lot of influence and clout and money on the table.

The other issue is that some people who are really passionate about training lack the genetics and, more often, the pain tolerance to make attention-getting progress. So they try to dazzle with their brains when their bodies do not impress.

And all of this is a lovely analysis by an industry insider (me!) that you probably don’t give a shit about. But if you’ve been patient enough to read this far, allow me to give you something applicable of value that will hopefully simplify what you should be paying attention to when it comes to your own training.

If you pay attention to nothing else and just follow this hierarchy of priorities you are likely to have more success than William Shatner at a Star Trek convention.

The first is that you must train hard. Uncomfortably hard. Close to failure hard. Extremely high heart-rate hard. Burning in your lungs and in your legs hard.

Physical changes - whether that’s how you look or how you perform - will only occur with a substantial stress to the system. So train as hard as you can while avoiding injury and allowing for recovery.

The nerds are going to concern themselves with vector angles. You concern yourself with going far enough to not be able to perform another good rep.

The second is consistency. Don’t be a stop-start-stop guy. Rather, be a death-and-taxes guy. Make your attendance in the gym so reliable that when you aren’t in the squat rack on a Wednesday night, the kid at the front desk calls your emergency contact to make sure you are okay.

You don’t need training breaks. You don’t need to deload every 4th week. You aren’t at risk of overtraining. Those can be appropriate strategies and legitimate concerns for a very small group of people. A group that you are likely not in.

If you only show up every time and train hard every time you will win. But if you want some good tips beyond that….

Keep track of what you are doing so you can make it harder over time. This is a concept called progressive overload and can refer to adding weight, adding reps, reducing rest, adding sets and a whole host of other things that simply make things more challenging over time.

Essentially progressive overload is a strategy to make sure that you are training hard.

Make sure your program has a foundation of compound lifts.

There are plenty of nerds who will tell you that the big compound lifts are unnecessary, potentially injurious and should be as avoided as a dozen donuts at a weight loss camp.

As I write this, there is a round table discussion of Dr. Peter Attilla and other fitness influencers fear mongering about the risk-reward of barbell back squats. And in all deference to Dr. Attila and his mult-degree earning committee, none of these people look like they’re exactly killing it in the gym.

Compound barbell movements allow for precise weight management, efficient strength building and axial loading which has proven to improve bone density, hormonal health and all the other actual benefits that strength training provides.

All your lifts don’t have to be compound, but avoiding them is a mistake.

The final thing that will actually move the needle on your training is to remember what you are doing it for.

If you want to look better in the mirror, don’t judge your progress by the weight on the bar or on the scale. Those can be good data points and inform your training, but judge your results based on what you are trying to accomplish.

And, lastly, try to have fun. This seems counterintuitive to our first principle - make sure training is hard - but just because something is painful it doesn’t mean you can’t find the joy in it. You must find the joy if you are going to be consistent.

I have an appreciation for people who are trying to move the industry forward. And I understand that controversial or atypical claims get attention. And attention is the world’s new currency.

But people have a hard enough time motivating themselves to get in the gym. And making it more complicated or encouraging every decision to be second guessed is doing more harm than good.

So get in there. Train remarkably hard. Keep going. Track what you are doing so you can keep making it more challenging. Don’t discount the compound lifts. They are a shortcut to success. Find some joy so you don’t give up.

It’s simple, but it works. And works is what you should be aiming for.

Because when it comes to the movie of your fitness life, it is you and not the nerds who should win.